Poland vs. Spider-Man 3

MCN’s David Poland has ripped into Sam Raimi‘s Spider-Man 3 with a fervor that I haven’t picked up from one of his reviews since he thrashed Charlie’s Angels: Full Throttle in ’03.

“There is so much incredibly expensive CG action in this film that many will get through it, not really dislike it, but have a vaguely displeased gut feeling,” Poland concludes. “I can’t really say it is a horrible movie. But it is quite a mess — a mess of good intentions gone terribly wrong.

“And it does, indeed, feel like the end of this franchise as we know it. Given the rote nature of this one, almost hidden by the flailing of attempted drama — flailing like a marlin on a 300 lb test line — it’s probably time to cash those checks and move along.”

42 thoughts on “Poland vs. Spider-Man 3

  1. D.Z. on said:

    The first Charlie’s Angels was fun, but the second one was a hollow cash-in, so I can see the similarities. Meanwhile, the new Fantastic Four 2 trailer rocked my socks off.

  2. Good lord, Jeff, is your senseless animus towards this unseen movie really so intense that you would go so far as to pull quotes from your arch-nemesis? I mean, come on, since when have you given any credibility to what the generally idiotic Dave Poland (who openly despises you) thinks?

  3. If Hitler rises from the grave and proclaims Spider-Man 3 a dud, you’ll hear about it here first.

    I have no reason to trust Poland’s opinion, but if he’s right it’s going to be a looooong summer since this was one of the few I was looking forward to.

  4. When it comes to blockbusters, I almost always disagree with DP, so this is actually the best news yet.

    Still, it’s clear from everything I’ve read that Raimi short-changed Venom, which is disappointing, if inevitable. I think Raimi’s complaints that he was never able to relate to Venom miss the point — it’s a big black monster with fangs and a tongue, there’s nothing to “get”! Venom got less interesting in the comics the moment they tried to make him sympathetic.

  5. Wells to ROTC: David Poland openly despises many people and many things. He’s a judger and a browbeating Rabbi and a Jihadist, but he’s no marshmallow.

  6. My point was that calling someone a Rabbi is vaguely anti-semitic. And if the point is to tell us that Poland is Jewish, then what is the point of knowing that? So, he’s a “Rabbi” and a “Jihadist” which would mean, literally that’s hew’s a Jew with an axe to grind. That seems almost Imus-esque to me.

  7. “Rabbi” more specifically refers to Poland’s know-it-all qualities and pompousness. Plus, can you be anti-Semitic to someone who may or may not be Jewish by birth?

  8. If Hitler rises from the grave and proclaims Spider-Man 3 a dud, you’ll hear about it here first.

    I have no reason to trust Poland’s opinion, but if he’s right it’s going to be a looooong summer since this was one of the few I was looking forward to.

  9. jeffmcm wrote: “‘Rabbi’ more specifically refers to Poland’s know-it-all qualities and pompousness.”

    So let me get this straight: Rabbis are understood to be “know-it-alls” and pompous???

    “Plus, can you be anti-Semitic to someone who may or may not be Jewish by birth?” People are never considered to be be “anti-Semitic to someone.” Instead, such people, like jeffmcm, are more likely to be just plain anti-Semitic.

  10. I guess I’ll continue to be the exception to every rule, cause I enjoyed Spider-Man 3 enough to want to see it again as soon as I possibly can which wasn’t the case with the first two movies. I also hated the first Charlie’s Angels, though it was silly and stupid, but the sequel is one of my favorite guilty pleasures (I even paid to see it in theatres opening weekend..yeah, that was me! )…because they realize how silly and stupid they are, and yet they seem to be having a blast making the movie. I’ve seen Full Throttle probably upwards of 5 times and it cracks me up and makes me smile every time.

  11. Sam Raimi jumped the shark when Kevin Costner opened his mouth and said “They buy it…for the GUM!”

  12. And Noah, people have been calling critics, essayists, novelists and other thinkers “Rabbis” for hundreds of years, so quit your whining and get yourself an education.

  13. if poland actually liked any of the godawful CHARLIE’S ANGELS thingsm then whateva…

    “You can have it Actionman. Just bury it in the backyard when you’re done with it.”

    ha ha! the AICN kids will only dig it right back up again…

  14. “I’ve seen Full Throttle probably upwards of 5 times and it cracks me up and makes me smile every time.”

    I’m just speechless. Wow.

  15. And Noah, people have been calling critics, essayists, novelists and other thinkers “Rabbis” for hundreds of years, so quit your whining and get yourself an education.

  16. In Annie Hall or Manhattan (can never remember which), Woody Allen realizes he’s being pompous and says, “I’m beginning to sound like Rabbi Blipstein.”

  17. I’m not anti-Semitic and I’m hurt that you would think so.

    But David Poland is a condescending know-it-all and that’s why he got the appellation. (To be straight, Wells is also as arrogant in his opinions but never has a pretense of being the source of all movie knowledge).

  18. jeffmcm said: “I’m not anti-Semitic and I’m hurt that you would think so. But David Poland is a condescending know-it-all and that’s why he got the appellation.”

    So now you’re saying that Rabbis are condescending as well??? Yeah, keep digging that hole. Why not throw in “cheap” while you’re at it?

    My assumption has always been that Wells gave Poland the “Rabbi” tag in a sarcastic, elbow-in-the-ribs, nudge-nudge way (like when someone puts on airs and you might respond by calling them “your highness”). But that’s worlds apart from jeffmcm’s bitter, carefree use of loaded terms like “pompous,” “condescending,” “arrogant” and “know it all” – every one of which pointedly denigrates the leaders and representatives of the Jewish community in a manner that is inherently and unapologetically anti-Semitic.

  19. You’re officially just trying to pick a fight. Everything that you said I said applies only to Poland and the non-Jewish Wells.

  20. “…But David Poland is a condescending know-it-all and that’s why he got the appellation. (To be straight, Wells is also as arrogant in his opinions but never has a pretense of being the source of all movie knowledge).”

    But luckinly we have you to fill that role over here.

  21. jeffmcm wrote: “Seriously, I’m really offended by your comments, ROTC.”

    And I’m really offended by yours. Maybe next time you ought to consider the implications of what you’re saying before you so irresponsibly shoot your mouth off. Your tone on these boards is frequently contemptible.

  22. I really don’t understand what your problem is. As far as I’m concerned, I honestly described Wells’s nickname for Poland and where it stemmed from. It’s the same as if Wells called Poland “Professor” or “Smarty-Pants” with the added connotation that Poland thinks that he’s not just clever, but wise. Feel free to elaborate what your complaint is if you want, but until that happens, I’m happy to stick with my notion that you’re a confused, libelous troublemaker.

  23. jeffmcm, I repeat: Your very first comment here was, “”Rabbi’ more specifically refers to Poland’s know-it-all qualities and pompousness.” If you don’t recognize how that statement demeans Rabbis, perhaps you need to join Mel Gibson in his therapy sessions. He doesn’t “understand what [my] problem is” either.

  24. Do me a favor and, instead of throwing my quotations back at me, tell me in your own words what you think is so troubling and maybe we’ll get somewhere.

  25. Projection of what? The English language? Again, read your own damning words. If you cannot objectively recognize how you conveyed a precise link (“specifically”) between Rabbis and “know-it-all qualities and pompousness,” there probably is no hope for you. (Maybe this will help you understand: In the sentence I quoted from your first post here, replace “Poland’s” with “someone’s.”) It speaks volumes that you cannot even allow for the forgiveable possibility that your word choices could have given so much as inadvertent offense. You’re just an arrogant, self-righteous SOB.

    I’m done with you. So long.

  26. Well when you put it _that_ way…

    I think this is all a difference of syntax, and if you had started by saying what you just said in the first place, instead of jumping down someone’s throat and calling them anti-Semitic, you might have gotten somewhere.

    What I was saying was that certain qualities that David Poland possesses – smugness, know-it-all-ism etc. – had caused Wells to bitterly label him a ‘Rabbi’ out of the feeling that Poland was too big for his britches, hence had a pretense to greater knowledge than he actually possesses, hence aspires towards ‘Rabbi-hood’ – which is actually a compliment towards Rabbis in this context – the insult is that David Poland _is not_ one.

    You read the comments as saying that Wells was seeking a way to demean any generic person (which is why in your most recent comment you said ‘replace “Poland’s with “someone’s”), hence found a group that he didn’t care for (Rabbis) and therefore decided to label Poland with their qualities.

    But, your interpretation of what I said was 180 degrees different from what I intended. I said, to elaborate as much as possible, “Poland’s a jerk, and has qualities similar to Rabbis” and you read it as “Poland’s a jerk _because_ he has qualities similar to Rabbis” The jerkish qualities stem from David Poland, not from Rabbis. I could not replace “Poland’s” with “someone’s” because that would change the whole formulation into something that would indeed be offensive – but that’s not what I said.

    I hope this makes sense to you. I’m not going to apologize because as far as I’m concerned, _you_ are the one who misunderstood _me_. Not the other way around.

  27. Cryptic messages written in the sky over lower Manhattan that turned out to be part of a kooky art project mystified and unnerved New Yorkers Sunday afternoon. MTS Convertidor

    Just after 4 p.m. a plane wrote the words “Last Chance” in the air. The message was preceded by”Lost Our Lease” and followed by “Now Open.”MTS Convertidor Mac

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