Geekboy regimentation

A hundred years hence, film historians will look back at the epic-quest CG fantasy fanboy-adventure genre (Arthurian comic-book fables, other-worldly milieus, mind-blowing visuals, Joseph Campbell-esque heroes in their 20s, constant insinuations and threats from all-powerful reptilian villians, relentless physical combat or sword-fight scenes, gah-gah finales) and be absolutely agog that tens of millions went to these films over and over again for decades (geek culture has sprayed shorts over these films since Star Wars opened 30 years ago) without making a peep about how oppressively similar they were from year to year, decade to decade.

The historians will conclude with mixtures of amazement and mystification that the fanboys wanted the same myth over and over, and that Hollywood kept obliging over and over, and that the cycle kept on ad infinitum. And nobody ever said “hey, what is this?” except for the occasional online iconoclast, and whenever one of these soreheads spoke up he/she would get trashed and shouted down and called stupid and irrelevant.
That said, the Angelina Jolie nudie-temptress footage in the Beowulf trailer is greatly appreciated.

52 thoughts on “Geekboy regimentation

  1. Or the period romantic drama. Or every war movie that’s come out after Saving Private Ryan. Or the “gross out comedy”.
    If the “torture Porn” genre didn’t have the one two punch of Hostel 2 and Captivity, I’d add that too.
    Every movie’s the same, man, not just the epic fanboy fantasy movie, most of which are now just trying to cash in on Lord of the Rings. (Remember, the genre that Peter Jackson created?). Hell, I haven’t even liked any of them since Rings, because they all come with that desperate stink of wanting to cash in on a trend.
    Besides, the fanboys aren’t that big a presence at the box office. If they were, the Snake movie last year would have surpassed Titanic.
    That being said, Alison Lohman looks even hotter than Angelina Jolie in the Beowulf movie.

  2. It’s interesting that you bring up Joseph Campbell, because one of Campbell’s main points was that all stories, regardless of the culture and era, share numerous similarities in terms of narrative structure, character archetypes, and ultimate morals.
    It seems that it’s human nature to tell the same kind of stories over and over, and it’s human nature to yearn for those tales. They help guide us morally, if only at a subconscious level.
    Jeff, from oral stories to theater to novels to films, the “Hero’s Journey” been going on for centuries because it simply works.

  3. “The historians will conclude with mixtures of amazement and mystification that the fanboys wanted the same myth over and over, and that Hollywood kept obliging over and over, and that the cycle kept on ad infinitum.”
    Yeesh. I swear, if I could find a way to hide every film snob over 30′s copy of “Easy Riders, Raging Bulls” for ONE year…
    You name-dropped Joseph Campbell, so you’ve obviously got some idea of who he was and what he did. So do you not see that HE “answered” you’re puzzlement here with his examinations and theories? It’s not the “fanboys” making these stories popular enough to keep retelling, it’s the human psyche. and it’s not something that only existed post-”Star Wars,” it’s been going on since the first story at the first campfire.
    There’s “something” hardwired into the makeup of our conscious that NEEDS to keep rehearing, retelling and reworking the “Hero’s Journey” thing. “A hundred years hence” film historians won’t NEED to wonder why people kept going to see these films, they’ll KNOW because they people of their time will STILL be going to see them. And also reading/writing books, watching/making TV shows, looking at/painting paintings and designing/playing video games based on the same exact timeless themes. It’s just who we are.

  4. When “Star Wars” openend here in Germany in 1978, my mother (then 40) said “This is the end. From now on we will only see movies starring toys and action figures”. I was 10.

  5. Actually, I think they will have some perspective on the situation that we can’t have now. Maybe when noirs and melodramas were so popular during and after WW2, no one understood at the time that they touched a nerve re: the changing roles of women. But we do now.
    I also think you could argue that serving up the same myths over and over has always been Hollywood’s business.

  6. Earl Hofert is done…bye Earl! Any talk-backer who takes things low and personal gets his plug pulled. Simple as that. No appeal…finito.

  7. That trailer looks great, but it seems like the animators haven’t figured out how to fix the “dead eyes” problem that plagues photorealistic cg films.

  8. LOL. Has it really come to this? You’re kicking Earl Hofert off your site because… well, I’m not really sure why you’re kicking him off. He didn’t say anything remotely low or personal.
    Is it because he said the word “old”? I don’t think he was implying that you were actually old, but rather that you weren’t old enough to have been around when the original poem of “Beowulf” was published, and therefore your anger in regards to seeing Hollywood repeat itself should really go back centuries (since myths have been repeated over and over throughout time).
    But, even if he simply was saying you were old, good grief, being a little touchy are we?

  9. In a hundred years people will be amazed that we wanted to have sex over and over again. Same body parts being used, similar movements. Again and again. For thousands of years.

  10. I’d watch out, Undercover Brother. Calling Wells “Judge Dredd” is No. 2 on his “Immediately Banned List,” right under calling him old.

  11. i like this site because it’s not a ban zone. i’ve seen a lot of cheap shots at many here but what am i missing?

  12. Anybody can say anything except for cheap-ass shit shots in a personal vein. There’s an extremely wide lattitude in that. I’m not trying to be Judge Dredd here as much as Paul Newsman’s Judge Roy Bean. That was a mediocre film, yes, but the spirit was right.

  13. This is a non sequitur, apropos of absolutely nothing, but anyone seen Time Bandits lately? It’s hilarious the way David Warner, as Evil, arbitrarily zaps anyone who displeases him.
    I was also half-watching The Empire Strikes Back the other day, and (aside from Mark Hamil’s hair) a detail that struck me was the way Vader would casually knock off his subordinates when they screwed up. Hey, it was his ship, and they had it coming. I bet they were all walking on eggshells after that. Probably made for boring conversation around the old starship, but at least nobody spoke out of turn. You have to admire that kind of Draconian, my-way-or-oblivion attitude.
    But I’m off-topic. (What was the topic?) Right, everything has sucked since Star Wars, and sucked twice as much since LOTR. Lucas and Jackson, very bad. Somebody zap them.
    Disclaimer: the above comments have been composed and considered with all due respect, and are not intended to be construed as a personal attack on any persons, places or institutions.

  14. I wish more sites would police the vulgar and obnoxious and leave us saintly pee-pole be.
    Anyhoo, totally agree that most of these particular hero flix are pretty tiresome, but not too sure its the story archetypes that are wrong; there is something in the execution of the grim portentiousness that is a reel turnoff.
    Speaking of sleep-inducing “entertainment”, has anyone read a mystery play, how about 60 of them, I would prefer a decade’s worth of the silly crapola ‘hero’-films to reading even 3 mystery plays, and I’m pretty sure reading them has got to be better than watching them.

  15. It’s “In the House – A Hertbeat” from John Murphy’s score to 28 DAYS LATER. I feel like I’m hearing this a lot in trailers now, though I can’t put my finger on them.

  16. It’s “In the House – A Heartbeat” from John Murphy’s score to 28 DAYS LATER. I feel like I’m hearing this a lot in trailers now, though I can’t put my finger on them.

  17. I think Wells is correct, but not because of the Joseph Campbell themed content, but because of the simplistic execution of these films. All the CGI has a monotonous, synthetic sameness to it, and it is underscored by the same dolby/ THX cacophony.
    Yes, the “Hero’s Journey” is classic, archetypal, etc. But it is difficult to make it fresh. Not all of these journeys have taken place in antiquity, outer space or some dank place underground with a bunch of tossers. Even the guy who made it fashionable, George Lucas, finds it hard to do well. The rest of Star Wars pales in comparison to the original trilogy.
    The “Hero’s Journey” is a genre that is emblematic of the rest of Hollywood. There is less craftsmanship than in the past. The writing is not as good. The pre-production is not as good. The direction is not as good. And then when the film comes out, it is given an affected veneer from the marketing department. And people buy it, not knowing shit from tuna fish.

  18. Kids have less adventures in their real lives. They can’t roam their suburbs they way they did 20/30/40 years ago, even though the suburbs are safer now than they’ve ever been. I was in a suburban Border’s bookstore and watched as a 40something father dragged his two kids into the rest room. The older one (maybe 9-10 years-old) didn’t have to go to the bathroom, so he didn’t want to accompany his father and younger brother into the bathroom. He wanted to go look at the CDs. So neurotic was this father about his 10 year-old son’s safety (I guess he thinks that suburban Border’s bookstores are crawling with pedophiles and murderers) that he blew up at him. The kid was reduced to tears and followed his father and brother into the rest room. When I was 9 I was roaming this same suburb on my bike–unsupervised–like a wild animal.

  19. I have no idea what Wells banished Earl Hofert for, but it was almost certainly something harmless. Every so often (although increasinly frequently) he has a totally irrational bugshit overreaction and reveals himself as the petty schoolyard bully that he really is. It’s amazing that as many people continue to enable his behavior – and more importantly, his livelihood – as do.

  20. “The kid was reduced to tears and followed his father and brother into the rest room.”
    Maybe the guy wasn’t really the kid’s father, maybe he was a child molester….

  21. Now that’s the dumbest thing I’ve read all day. It was obvious that he was the kids Dad. Anyway, this is the kind of mentality I’m talking about. But slaying dragons is wicked awesome!

  22. “When I was 9 I was roaming this same suburb on my bike–unsupervised–like a wild animal.”
    A place can really change in three years.
    Disclaimer: the above comments have been composed and considered with all due respect, and are not intended to be construed as a personal attack on any persons, places or institutions.

  23. I think they’ll wonder about our obsessions with winning, revenge, cops, and car chases long before they think we went too gaga for sword and sorcery fantasy.

  24. Best line from Time Bandits, which I’ve used on my kids more than a few times: “I AM the supreme being, I’m not entirely dim.”

  25. Jeff, if I thought you were “stupid” or “irrelevant,” I would not frequent your site as often as I do. I simply don’t think this genre is your thing, and I am a little mystified as to why you won’t live peaceably with it without taking these potshots that could be made just as easily – as mentioned above – at any other genre.
    Also as stated above, this basic storytelling archetype has been around much longer than Star Wars – it’s campfire narrative pre-dating the written word. Beowulf is an adaptation of a tale several centuries old, after all.
    The fantasy/sci-fi hero’s journey has its hits and misses just like anything else, and there are still plenty of original creative takes on it that have yet to hit the big screen. If anything, I feel that the genre is severely underrepresented, particularly with any sort of serious adult treatment. The problem is the same problem that plagues all the other genres: too many producers who only want to make the safe buck and appeal to the lowest common denominator.

  26. Kids have less adventures in their real lives. They can’t roam their suburbs they way they did 20/30/40 years ago, even though the suburbs are safer now than they’ve ever been. I was in a suburban Border’s bookstore and watched as a 40something father dragged his two kids into the rest room. The older one (maybe 9-10 years-old) didn’t have to go to the bathroom, so he didn’t want to accompany his father and younger brother into the bathroom. He wanted to go look at the CDs. So neurotic was this father about his 10 year-old son’s safety (I guess he thinks that suburban Border’s bookstores are crawling with pedophiles and murderers) that he blew up at him. The kid was reduced to tears and followed his father and brother into the rest room. When I was 9 I was roaming this same suburb on my bike–unsupervised–like a wild animal.

  27. Now that’s the dumbest thing I’ve read all day. It was obvious that he was the kids Dad. Anyway, this is the kind of mentality I’m talking about. But slaying dragons is wicked awesome!

  28. In a hundred years people will be amazed that we wanted to have sex over and over again. Same body parts being used, similar movements. Again and again. For thousands of years.
    so said demolition man.

  29. I think they’ll wonder about our obsessions with winning, revenge, cops, and car chases long before they think we went too gaga for sword and sorcery fantasy.

  30. Best line from Time Bandits, which I’ve used on my kids more than a few times: “I AM the supreme being, I’m not entirely dim.”

  31. So Wells, have you seen STARDUST, or was this just a general rumination on the state of affairs? I wholeheartedly agree. Every time I saw one of those ERAGON TV spots last winter I let out a big “fuuuuuuuuuuuck”.

  32. In a hundred years people will be amazed that we wanted to have sex over and over again. Same body parts being used, similar movements. Again and again. For thousands of years.

    so said demolition man.

  33. What we are dealing with is a genre that until very recently could not be filmed, that is currently mistakenly and primarily being made for children. This is not the case with BEOWULF nor Paul Weitz’s (writer/director of New Line’s THE GOLDEN COMPASS) long-gestating Michael Moorcock ELRIC epic STORMBRINGER. However, most of the best adult work in this field is best suited to longform, with HBO now developing series based on bestselling and critically acclaimed fantasy authors like George R R Martin’s A SONG OF ICE AND FIRE and Showtime Terence Goodkins’s WIZARD’S FIRST RULE, both of them genuine heirs to Tolkein’s LORD OF THE RINGS.

  34. Ian… someone’s making an Elric movie? Cooooooool. My own personal like-to-see-made: The MEMORY, SORROW, AND THORN trilogy by Tad Williams.

  35. I’d also love to see the Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. But it would be tough to sell a series of films where the protagonist’s first act is to rape an innocent victim. There’s a kiddie movie for you.

  36. Jeff, that was the whole point of Joseph Campbell’s research and book The Hero with a Thousand Faces. Campbell didn’t have a problem with the fact that the hero always is the same and has an incredibly similar journey to every hero before. What he found important and interesting is the new “face” or cultural identity on that hero. We have to sort through the trash and latch on to the hero of today who does something a bit different or looks a little different. Like Uma Thurman’s character in the Kill Bill movies. She’s a woman doing all the things a male hero would have done. That’s the important thing, not the fact that she “dies,” is buried alive, has a master, etc. that all other heroes do. If we don’t have imagination and film writers like you don’t either, then don’t expect much from the audience.

  37. Nice to see George RR Martin get a mention. I wish he’d hurry the hell up with the next book!
    As far as fantasy movies, I almost want them to churn even more out for the simple pleasure of Jeff’s agony.

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