“Hotel Chevalier”
Here’s a link for Wes Anderson‘s Hotel Chevalier — Jason Schwartzman, a yellow and biege hotel room with a great view, Peter Sarstedt‘s “Where Do You Go To, My Lovely?“, the naked Natalie Portman (with bruises) and a great pair of lines — Portman saying “if we fuck, I’m going to feel like shit tomorrow” and Schwartzman saying “that’s okay with me.” The download is free. It’s best to have iTunes open first. It lasts 13 minutes.
Why don’t you just transcribe the whole thing then?
God, you’re a dick.
Won’t it be on YouTube in an hour? And those are stupid baby babble lines.
Wells to jeffmcm: Because (a) I havent’ got the time or the inclination to transcribe the whole thing, and (b) because I felt it would obviously get in the way of the pure enjoyment of the piece to do that. Transcribing two lines is an hors d’oeuvre, a morsel. Eat my ass.
Jesus, you’re still an asshole. I’m going to stand outside a theater and tell you the best lines of a movie right before you walk in. It’s not that big of a deal, but if we’re going to click on it we’re going to click on it. And “eat my ass?” What is this, AICN?
as if you haven’t heard all the best lines out of movie during the promo blitz
I’m pissed off that for a free product those weasels at Apple want my credit card. Steve Jobs sucks.
You guys are really being overly touchy. He wrote down a brief exchange. Get the sand out of your vaginas.
Jeffmcm to Wells: name your time and place.
Oh, and what do you have against beach-dwelling women?
Not too gay, mcm. Spoiler alert: someone has sand in their crotch.
Wells to alunch: Thank you for your futile effort to lend a little worldly perspective, at least as far as the ability of these little bitches to absorb it is concerned.
That’s good. Your readers are little bitches. Straight from the horse’s mouth.
As if we didn’t already know of your total contempt for your readership.
That certainly played very well on Apple quicktime. Beautiful quality. Throughly enjoyed it – thanks for posting.
“That’s good. Your readers are little bitches. Straight from the horse’s mouth.
As if we didn’t already know of your total contempt for your readership.”
There are only 3 little bitches here by my count (not you T.Holly…this time), hardly a total contempt for his readership.
Ian, I give up, how do you play it in QT.
Oh, come on. If you’ve read anything I’ve posted on this site you’d never lump me into a “little bitches” category.
You’re still bitching, shutup
sorry…I’m just trying to fit in with the cool kids
The only things I’m pissed about are 13 wasted minutes.
I’m not sure which was more fake – Portman being a clothed stripper in Closer, or that inhuman pose she strikes near the end just to cover her breasts. She looked like a castoff from the “Vogue” video.
In that whole short the only thing you found unrealistic was her pose at the end?
apple wants a credit card to watch this?
hey apple. go fuck a duck.
I can’t believe we’re arguing over a couple leaked lines when you have a pretty sexy little turn from Nat to drool over.
We didn’t get to see any naughty bits, but damn if Schwartzman didn’t have a primo look at the grand prize.
Someone’s not so shy anymore.
I was really looking forward to watching this when I got home and now it’s totally ruined, and not because of Jeff or any of you, but because of this douche I work with, who I gave sixty dollars to last week. I asked him to buy me some pot, but no, that’s not what I said, what I said was that if he gave me the name of his dealer I would call the guy and get it myself. But he said he would do it for me, so I gave him the money and since then he hasn’t said a word to me about it. All I wanted was a little weed because my wife and kid are out of town until Sunday and I was looking forward to a little Natalie Portman/Wes Anderson/Smooth French Pop cocktail preceded by a swift light and pull from my bong, which I recently adorned with a homemade flamejob. Now that’s out of the question and now I’m in a horrible fucking mood. Any suggestions on the protocol for a work drug deal gone sour?
“Any suggestions on the protocol for a work drug deal gone sour?”
A) Love letter
B) Scissors + ear
C) Joyride
D) Salt in coffee
E) Spoil Hotel Chevalier by giving away dialogue
ps
Naked with bruises….reminds me of someone I used to know.
Standard operating procedure for the Work Drug Deal Gone Sour is to hire a team of midgets, dress them as mimes, arm them with blow torches and cheese graters and then send them to the guy’s abode with one simple instruction: Go to town on the dude’s crotch. Extra credit if they grab some weed on the way out.
The mime business is optional, but the midgets are key. It’s more cinematic and makes for a funnier story when you tell your friends afterwards.
Will someone please murder whoever has a gun to jeffmcm’s head that makes him read this site?
milkman, get a new dealer.
someone you can trust.
This is a wonderful, evocative short film.
So how about some thoughts regarding the short itself? Anybody watched it yet?
Personal thoughts: Felt pretty lifeless to me. Honestly didn’t connect with me, nude Portman be damned. The reveal of the bruises was the most interesting part of the entire short, but otherwise no real payoff, nor reason to care for either one of them.
Dearly wish that the Wes Anderson who made Rushmore would make a comeback.
Damn I sound negative. I mean, art direction, all the stuff we know Wes Anderson will nail, came across well. Of course it would. But the scenario just didn’t feel unique or have a compelling enough hook to it, nothing that made me really want to know what the next move would be on either of their parts. It just felt… flat.
Look, here’s some links to a couple of higher profile shorts that, combined, match up to the same length as Hotel Chevalier. This is what I was gauging it to:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=xqstlUU_kD0
http://youtube.com/watch?v=bnO6nDTMpqo&mode=related&search=
so much for this short getting Oscar nominated.
First impression: I was intrigued by how Jason Schwartzman seemed a part of the world Wes Anderson has been building over the years (you know, the world everyone hates now), but Natalie Portman seemed to be from outside of it. She seemed more real; something un-Anderson-like.
Interesting.
N. Portman is the best thing about this and whoever said that she seems like she is outside of the wes-iverse, they’re right, and that is why she is easily the most interesting thing about it. She’s kind of tough-talking in the Blanchett/”Life Aquatic” way, but not nearly so arch and thus, a thousand times more intriguing and a nice breath of fresh air into Wes’ stale worldview.
SPOILER ALERT (I guess, since everyone here is so goddamn sensitive apparently and, unless you’ve never, ever seen a Wes Anderson film, you know this is coming anyways so its not really a spoiler):
I actually quite liked this until the overcranked penultimate shot, which lost me. I don’t know if it was the way Portman was standing or just the stunning sense that Anderson was trying to shoehorn every bit of his style into 12 minutes, but it really was off-putting and, dare I say it, laughable. How you feel every time Spike Lee does that “actor sitting on a dolly with the camera” shot which hasn’t been interesting in about 20 years. I’m afraid to admit it, but I think I’m over W. Anderson and his once awesome, now tiresome sensibilities. Oh, and fuck Schwartzman and that mustache. I don’t know if I can watch a whole movie with that caterpillar on his lip.
Does anyone have a link for this on anything other than digi-shit i-tunes? I’m a vinyl guy and there’s no fucking way I’m giving Apple my credit card number just to see a short film.
Christ, did anyone else see how many info screens you had to go through just to INSTALL the fucking thing?
Apple, go screw.
So if anyone’s got a link, do us all a favor…
//Christ, did anyone else see how many info screens you had to go through just to INSTALL the fucking thing?//
Gimme a fucking break. Just do like Hemingway did and put your head down and bulldoze your way through those info screens. Click your mouse like a man. If you can summon a bit of grit, you can install the thing and get what enjoyment you can out of it. And then it’s over, and everybody’s dead. No honor, no glory, nothing but rain. But at least you didn’t whine like a vinyl guy.
Eat shit, Nate. A big pile of steaming, hot, Mexican Hemingway shit.
I’m feeling your pain, Craptastic:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnQEyFymvgs
It’s only 9:35 long, it’s definitely coming down soon, better hurry. The two of them are cute together.
Not available in Canada.
Fucking hell.
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