Onion vivisects Anderson
Here’s a 9.24.07 Onion story with a headline that reads, “New Wes Anderson Film Features Deadpan Delivery, Meticulous Art Direction, Characters With Father Issues.” A very rote piece for the Onion, but something about the phrasing of the headline made me laugh out loud. As I said yesterday I’m more of the LQTM type.
Shouldn’t that be “Fathers with Character Issues?”
the onion used to be funny. but my snark-o-meter
is currently broken.
I am a white male in my mid-30′s with creative aspirations. I believe that I have great taste in music and books and movies and clothes. I like to tell myself that I am a hard worker and that one day I will get to the opportunity to show the world how special I am and that the world, in return, will validate all the wonderful things I have told myself about myself. In other words, I want to be exactly like Wes Anderson. Except Wes Anderson already got the role. I want to have lunch with Marty in Tribeca one day and wake-up in my Paris apartment the next. The odds are that this is never going to happen. I probably don’t have the talent and drive and luck. Wes Anderson does. He has achieved a trajectory that fills me with toxic bitter jealousy. He is part of the pantheon. If I’m lucky, one day my daughter will speak highly of me, and this will be as close to immortality as I am likely to get. Approaching 40 years old, Wes Anderson is still years away from his apex as a creative individual. I, on the other hand, feel as though I have already shot past my nadir. The only thing I have left is the sweet relief of oblivion, where we all become equal, and then, and only then, will I have love in my heart for the people who got to become who I wanted to be.
“New Jeffrey Wells Post Features Bitterness, Irrational Superiority Complex, and Bizarre Paul Haggis Fetish”
Thank you, Milkman. That made my day
“He is part of the pantheon.”
Your pantheon has pretty generous admissions standards.
I catch your drift.
Man, that’s a lot of info, Milk. I hope Wes has a mid-life crisis that causes him to go into creative paralysis or grow up. I’m interested in “Darjeeling Express” for the locations and the music. I’m also interested in “The Bucket List” for the locations. I’m cancelling cable because I want to have my own “The Diving Bell and The Butterfly” syndrome.
One quibble, milkman. “Nadir” means low point. Otherwise, I’ve never read such an eloquent, desperate statement of personal plight.
Yeah, I know what nadir means. I’ve shot past my nadir, i.e, I’ve gone past my lowest point. That means I’m lower than low. Feelings don’t have to be literal, do they?
Sorry – I’m an overly literal guy. I accept your artistic license and withdraw my quibble. :- )
MilkMan, you`re in the pantheon of Best Self-hating Monologues, up there with Nic Cage`s in Adaptation.
MilkMan, you`re in the pantheon of Best Self-hating Monologues, up there with Nic Cage`s in Adaptation.
And I mean that as a compliment
The Wes Anderson is the Antichrist crowd is starting to get as shrill and annoying as the Wes Anderson Walks on Water crowd.
As someone who’s tired of Anderson himself, I have to concede CJ’s point. The thing is getting rather tedious on both sides.
BOTTLE ROCKET, RUSHMORE, THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS. Pantheon? You bet. Deal with it.