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Of Time and the City
"American Teen" bringdown
I got thrown out a screening of Nanette Burstein's American Teen at the Library after seeing about 15 minutes' worth. The heave-ho happened about 80 minutes ago. I had a ticket and everything, but because I got there late (due to my own laziness plus misplaced faith in the Park City transit system) there were no seats at all, and the woman running the Sundance volunteers insisted over the mike that no one could stand in the back. You're in a seat or you're out, she said.
Those are the Park City fire regulations, yes, although we've all stood in the back or sat on the floor before. I did this plenty of times in the '90s.
The issue for me wasn't that the woman insisting on following orders. The issue was that she seemed to be in the grip of one of those pinched Nurse Ratched personalities. The issue was that she had a menacing expression that might have prevented Chinese troops from crossing the 49th Parallel. The issue was that one of her volunteer colleagues kindly offered me a chair to sit on against the back wall, and then this butch boss came along and escorted me outside.
The issue, also, honestly, was that I didn't give that much of a shit in the end because Burstein's film didn't seem all that interesting or original. I was saying to myself less than five minutes in, "This is nothing new. I've seen this shit dozens of times. I know it backwards and forwards. Something else has to happen. Someone's going to die in a car accident, get cancer...something. This is too familiar.
I was also saying, "Oh, no...is that volunteer looking at me? Look at the screen and ignore her. You belong here, you were invited...think positively! Oh, shit, here she comes..."
Slickly designed (I saw a couple of cool CG animation sequences) and scored with lots of punch, American Teen is a study of four seniors at a small Indiana high school. I couldn't believe the film was about the same old stereotypes as we've seen in I don't know how many teen dramas, including Election. A basketball hero jock, a goodie-goodie blonde cheerleader type, a nerdish male musician with bad skin who's into video games, and a nerdy female who plays rhythm guitar. Good heavens!
Don't we all know this story? And especially how it's going to turn out? The nerds are probably going to turn into cool adults and lead interesting lives, and the jocks and the cheerleaders, suffering under the ancient Chinese curse that says "may you peak in high school," are going to put on weight, lead ordinary lives, have "work" done when they hit 45, possibly become alcoholic, have kids who may wind up ignoring them when they leave the house, and so on.
Unless the reviews are over the moon, I think it might be a good idea to shine American Teen and wait for the HBO airing or a screener or whatever.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on January 19, 2008 at 2:57 PM
comment #1
George Prager
says ...
And the title combines the two least interesting words in the English language.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..........
Posted by George Prager
at January 19, 2008 3:49 PM
comment #2
corey3rd
says ...
This is such BS. If they hand out tickets and they let you in the theater, it's unacceptable for them to not have enough seats.
Posted by corey3rd
at January 19, 2008 3:54 PM
comment #3
Devin Faraci
says ...
Jeff, see THE WACKNESS. I'm interested in your take.
Posted by Devin Faraci
at January 19, 2008 3:58 PM
comment #4
George Prager
says ...
I'm going to follow Nanette Burnstein's lead and make a documentary about how fast food is bad for you.
Posted by George Prager
at January 19, 2008 4:05 PM
comment #5
lazarus
says ...
I would have thought "No Mo' Nanette" would have been the obvious post title.
Posted by lazarus
at January 19, 2008 4:23 PM
comment #6
The Winchester
says ...
Can we enable a law that stops filmmakers from starting their titles with the word "American"?
Posted by The Winchester
at January 19, 2008 4:35 PM
comment #7
corey3rd
says ...
that law can't go into effect till I wrap on "American Americans"
Posted by corey3rd
at January 19, 2008 4:58 PM
comment #8
T. Holly
says ...
I have no readily available excuse, but I knew people at Sundance would be rough on each other, being shacked up in boarding houses. Pay Anne Filipic a visit; she must be down the mountain aways. And start asking people who they're voting for. What are you waiting for?
http://my.barackobama.com/page/community/post/annefilipic/CGg3j
Posted by T. Holly
at January 19, 2008 6:09 PM
comment #9
Ju-osh
says ...
Next time you oughtta break up your screeds against women in authority with something wholly unrelated. You know, just so the conspiracy theorists don't get to talking...
Posted by Ju-osh
at January 19, 2008 7:58 PM
comment #10
Mgmax
says ...
Can we enable a law that stops filmmakers from starting their titles with the word "American"?
Only if it bans "The Last _______" too.
Posted by Mgmax
at January 19, 2008 8:47 PM
comment #11
T. Holly
says ...
If you can get past Honeycutt, this is pretty good.
http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid1365202673?bctid=1382936798
Posted by T. Holly
at January 19, 2008 10:38 PM
comment #12
PerfectTommy
says ...
Can we enable a law that stops filmmakers from starting their titles with the word "American"?
Only if it bans "The Last _______" too.
Posted by: Mgmax
Please, do not ban using the word "Movie" in a title, such as "Scary Movie" or "Epic Movie" because when I see that it, it gives me ample warning to steer clear.
Posted by PerfectTommy
at January 19, 2008 10:47 PM
comment #13
Mgmax
says ...
What about Hot Dog: The Movie?
Of course, by my rule the most accursed title of all time is from the same era of dumb teen sex comedies: The Last American Virgin.
Posted by Mgmax
at January 19, 2008 10:51 PM
comment #14
Craptastic
says ...
Wells, you're old enough to know that just because something happens once or twice during life in the 90's does not mean it will happen again.
Sounds like the woman was just doing her job. Anyone who has to ask people to move and such has someone to answer to-- give her a break.
Mgmax-- best random use of Hot Dog: The Movie I've seen in some time. Made me laugh out loud.
There needs to be an L.A. screening of Hot Dog: The Movie and Midnight Madness back to back
Posted by Craptastic
at January 19, 2008 11:18 PM
comment #15
rocco
says ...
We tease Jeff all the time about his presence/importance on the web, but the reality is that he holds sway with at least a few thousand moviegoers...for a small film like this, that could be make or break...f this myopic bitch, either she should have found him a seat or repremanded the douche who handed out too many tix.
Posted by rocco
at January 19, 2008 11:44 PM
comment #16
christian
says ...
Roger Ebert's single greatest line in his history of reviews:
"...HOT DOG: THE MOVIE, not to be confused with HOT DOG: THE SHAKESPEAREAN TRAGEDY..."
Posted by christian
at January 20, 2008 12:00 AM
comment #17
scooterzz
says ...
rocco -- my first impulse was to agree with you but then......i figure she's probably one of those 'over 40, not-very-well-educated' hillary supporters and knew exactly who wells is and was itching to throw him out the moment he walked in the door....she'll prob be stalking him for the rest of the fest.....
Posted by scooterzz
at January 20, 2008 12:13 AM
comment #18
rocco
says ...
yeah, not a good move by Wells to direct all his vitriol towards the stupid women who vote for Hillary (and they *are* stupid), but not, you know, the stupid men...
Posted by rocco
at January 20, 2008 12:31 AM
comment #19
scooterzz
says ...
uh...i was just goofing on the previous post by wells....i'm not calling anyone 'stupid' because of their choice(s)....... jus' sayin'....
Posted by scooterzz
at January 20, 2008 1:22 AM
comment #20
scooterzz
says ...
uh...i was just goofing on the previous post by wells....i'm not calling anyone 'stupid' because of their choice(s)....... jus' sayin'....
Posted by scooterzz
at January 20, 2008 1:23 AM
comment #21
scooterzz
says ...
this 'puter blows...sorry about the dp..
Posted by scooterzz
at January 20, 2008 1:30 AM
comment #22
christian
says ...
Jeff, you just should have looked her square in the eye and said, "Do you know who I am?"
Posted by christian
at January 20, 2008 2:37 AM
comment #23
Rich S.
says ...
And, in this age of relentless internet coverage, if something had gone wrong, and it had been revealed that they were permitting theaters to be filled beyond capacity, poof!, no more Sundance!
Posted by Rich S.
at January 20, 2008 4:37 AM
comment #24
Bart Smith
says ...
"This is such BS. If they hand out tickets and they let you in the theater, it's unacceptable for them to not have enough seats."
---
The thing is if they hand out 100 tickets, it's unlikely that 100 people are going to show up. They'd rather turn away 20 people and have a full theatre than to have 80 people and 20 empty seats.
Posted by Bart Smith
at January 20, 2008 6:13 AM
comment #25
corey3rd
says ...
While i understand why you hand out more tickets than you have seats for a free preview screening, the simple point is that this is frickin' Sundance where there's always a line of people eager to see the screening. You only let 100 people into the theater if there are only 100 seats. If only 80 people show up, then you tell folks to squeeze together, take a seat count and let folks in from the standby line to fill the remaining seats.
Wells should have just told the lady, "I drink your milkshake!" as he storms out the theater. And to cover his tracks he could shout, "Sidney Lumet is a hack!" thus making it get reported that Armond White was tossed from the dark theater."
Posted by corey3rd
at January 20, 2008 6:26 AM
comment #26
carla kolchak
says ...
I have been a volunteer at Sundance and we are given a long list of strict rules when we are working in one of the theatres. We are told to follow them to the letter.
How strictly those rules are applied, however, in reality, is up to the volunteer team captain.
I was lucky to be on an efficient but comparatively laid-back theatre team with a captain who had us stick to the rules except in those instances where it would be absurd to do so. So not only did we set up a row of chairs at the back of our theatre for every screening, more often than not we were the ones sitting in them (another no-no, officially)!
Wells simply ran into someone who was applying the rules by the book. That's what we're told to do and some people are less likely than others to think on their feet and make allowances where necessary.
Seat-counting while the theatre fills up isn't as easy as you may think it is. Now, it's not exactly rocket science, but keep in mind that people get up and change seats. They leave their seats to go get popcorn or go to the washroom or go chat with their friend on the other side of the room. And they lie.
In the theatre where I volunteered, the problem was always opposite to what Wells experienced. We never had a problem with over-selling, but under-selling happened. We'd end up with a few empty seats because assholes lied when we asked them if those empty seats beside them were occupied by somebody who was temporarily elsewhere inside the theatre (at the food counter, in the washroom, wherever) when, meanwhile, they were trying to hold the seat for some friend who was still outside, ticketless, in the wait line. We'd try to (politely!) explain to these dunderheads that their friends won't even get in if our seat-count says those seats are aready filled, but it was usually fruitless.
Posted by carla kolchak
at January 20, 2008 8:23 AM
comment #27
RoyBatty
says ...
"I got there late (due to my own laziness plus misplaced faith in the Park City transit system)...the woman running the Sundance volunteers insisted over the mike that no one could stand in the back. You're in a seat or you're out, she said."
So why are we reading about this? Wells ran late, the woman apparently gave him ample warning that she takes the fire codes seriously and he should have known it was very iffy to stay. As soon as it became clear she was serious, that would be the cue to head over to the cafe and wait for the next one.
What will be really amusing if it happens again with the same woman. Then, of course, it won't be about how she is consistent but how she targets Wells.
Posted by RoyBatty
at January 20, 2008 9:54 AM
comment #28
christian
says ...
One reason I love Soderbergh is because when SEX LIES etc. played at Sundance, he became a fest volunteer and drove people from the airport.
Posted by christian
at January 20, 2008 2:35 PM
comment #29
y_ashton
says ...
It seems to me that this Wells guy thinks he knows a little bit more than what he actually does.
Maybe he should have went to another screening of the film before writing on it.
No one dies in an accident or gets cancer.
And i personally know the students in this film, being a senior myself at the high school it was made.
None of them are going to become over-weight alcoholic losers as this asshole would like to think they are.
Maybe you should watch the film. You might actually learn something. It is far from the "typical" documentary.
Posted by y_ashton
at January 23, 2008 5:21 PM
comment #30
americanteenfan
says ...
Mr. Wells,
Sounds to me like your panties were all bunched up after your big ego was hurt because you were asked to leave the showing of American Teen. How can you write a fair critique about a movie if you only saw a few minutes of it? Apparently, your personal treatment biased your opinion of the movie from the get go. How unfortunate as the film seemed to be one of the best films at the Festival, according to other critics who viewed the ENTIRE movie. Maybe you will be able to see the whole movie once Paramount Vantage releases it nation-wide. Maybe you'd better allow ample driving time and be the first in line to insure you have a seat.
americanteenfan
Posted by americanteenfan
at January 29, 2008 5:52 AM
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