Psychiatric circus

Imagine the complex thoughts and emotions being experienced by those ten L.A. motorcycle cops as they roared down Coldwater Canyon last night (actually this morning), accompanying an ambulance carrying the permanently fried, baked and scattered Britney Spears, the ultimate meltdown/basket case of our times, along with two squad cars and a handful of SUVs on a trip to a medical facility at UCLA. (Her psychiatrist apparently felt her frazzled state of mind demanded a lockdown evaluation.)

You’re vrooming along on your bike and saying to yourself, “This is my life…look at this! I get paid either way but this is embarassing. I’m an officer of the law by day but right now I’m a paid goon, like a buffed-up spear-carrying guard in a Cecil B. DeMille Biblical spectacle…I’m part of a deranged psychiatric circus. I’ll be reading about myself in the supermarket tabs this weekend. I feel used, abused. The sickness…the madness!”
Paying the least bit of attention to this grotesque spectacle is like glancing at Medusa; one look and you’re infected.

37 thoughts on “Psychiatric circus

  1. I’m starting to really miss the days when we got real, in-depth movie reviews and general analysis on this site instead of quick blurbs about politics and Britney Spears.
    I know it’s the name of the game these days Jeff, but do you have to stoop so low so often? Just give us a little more of what we love again along with all the junk and I’ll be happy. Your reviews of In The Valley of Elah and There Will Be Blood reminded me of why I enjoy your writing so much. That’s the stuff that lasts. Not this kind of cheap blogging that can be easily found on a million other sites.

  2. Is writing about her any more self-actualizing than driving behind her?
    “This is my life…look at this! I get paid to denigrate hispanics and women and to take down unworthy Hollywooders either way but this is embarrassing. I’m a film and art lover and respected blogger by day but right now I’m a paid gossip monger, like those makeup-caked whores on ET and Extra.”
    Please, Jeff, don’t infect this great blog with trifling shit like this…there are thousands of people whose lives are even more hideously out of control…her former celebrity status shouldn’t make her descension any more or less fascinating/tragic or any more worthy of these pages than any of them.

  3. HE is a stream, a river…sometimes about the clouds and mountaintops, sometimes about low-hanging fruit. Take a walk, talk to a neighbor, renew your 24-Hour Fitness membership, get some perspective. Go out and buy the new Criterion DVD of Lindsay Anderson’s “This Sporting Life,” which I briefly wrote about last night.

  4. Jeff has always offered comments on pop culture, politics and other matters outside the realm of film. If you don’t like it, scroll down.

  5. Yeah, Jeff, let’s talk about something more important. Give the HE readers what they want. You say something cutting and sarcastic about Steven Spielberg and then we can all gather ’round the thread and talk about how he’s like totally the greatest filmmaker of all time. I just watched War of the Worlds for the 9th time this week and it’s the most important movie of the 21rst Century. I think Spielberg should be given an award at least once a month, and they can call it The Spielberg of the Month Award. I mean, living her in Los Angeles, it goes without saying that none of us would be alive if it weren’t for the humanitarian and artistic efforts of Steven Spielberg. Am I right? Right! Yay!!! SPIELBERG, SPIELBERG,SPIELBERG,SPIELBERG…

  6. There’s a video store in the West Village that always puts out new dvds a week early. I picked up and put back down The Assasination Of Jesse James 3 times last night. Damn, I want to see it, but I just refuse to pay retail.

  7. does anyone want to discuss Paul Haggis (scientologist) ‘inking an overall’ with United Artists. Now that’s interesting. Think of the possibilities.

  8. “HE is a stream, a river…sometimes about the clouds and mountaintops, sometimes about low-hanging fruit. Take a walk, talk to a neighbor, renew your 24-Hour Fitness membership, get some perspective.”
    Did I just wander into Ecclesiastes?

  9. Us asking Jeff to use his talent and wit to write about movies, the industry, even politics and *worthy* pop-culture observations while ignoring trash is no different than expecting a great actor to pass on roles in movies like, say, Jaws III. BRITNEY FUCKING SPEARS? Come on.
    HE is a distraction that has established a certain standard for its material…but yeah, I guess I overreacted, this was just one posting…unless they reach the frequency of Obama or Zodiac posts, I’ll just skip past them…

  10. Perhaps the spiraling downfall that is Brittney Spears is a Microcom of the downfall of America. The once great nation in debt up to it’s majestic mountain tops, it’s standing in the world fodder for the supermarket rags….What a legacy George Bush has left for our next President to deal with.

  11. If HE is a stream, then at one time it was cold, clear brook one could dip a cup into for a refreshing sip. These days however it is usually muddy, with even an occasional algae-covered can floating by.
    And even then, Wells gets the name on the can wrong: “…now I’m a paid goon…” If you ever watched the dangerous antics of the paparazzi, you’d wish more cops were used when their bigger targets move about. I once watched several dart into an intersection after the light changed just to keep up with a limo. It’s only a matter of time before they kill someone.
    I guess Wells has resigned himself to accepting the mantel of gossip blogger that he so vehemently protested when David Poland consigned this site to. Which is fine, but it’s a shame that its getting harder and harder to find sites that want to talk seriously about cinema that isn’t geared towards the “fan boy” market like AICN, etc.

  12. “If HE is a stream, then at one time it was cold, clear brook one could dip a cup into for a refreshing sip. These days however it is usually muddy, with even an occasional algae-covered can floating by.”
    But we all keep drinking don’t we.

  13. “Imagine the complex thoughts and emotions being experienced by those ten L.A. motorcycle cops …”
    I find it easier to imagine them thinking, “How do I sell this experience to the top bidder?”

  14. No Edward, it’s not obvious. This Bush Derangement Syndrome has gone a little bit far. Two seperate and independantly sad situations.

  15. I shut any talk of Britney off when I see it on the television and wish this would all just go away. Seriously, this is the absolute nadir of our media and our culture as far as I’m concerned. However, in order for my wish to come to fruition, I feel obligated to troll discussions like this one and monitor the talk of those who do not care. I guess we are outnumbered, but I want to fight the good fight and try to convince people to stop lowering the bar. At this rate Britney could end up dead inside the year.
    Giantman>> I don’t know – I thought you were being funny and perhaps slyly prescient. I could easily see a pointless discussion like this one devolving into talk of Hitler.

  16. “Did I just wander into Ecclesiastes?”
    nice.
    And burma, when britney provides us with a fat quote about how “we should support the president” pre-iraq war, well, bush does have a connect. the deification of mediocrity and common-manness is writ large and stupid. and when did you pick up the right wing term BDS for expert use? ever use the term CDS to describe the other side much?
    that said, spears has entered my realm of “i’m going to defend her because she’s mentally ill and fuck the media vultures who build and destroy. fuck them.”

  17. media vultures who build and destroy
    Yes, let’s blame the media. They forced her to lust for fame, to whore herself for television, to let cameras into her home and intimate life…there’s not a touch of irony to the fat that she now can’t escape from their view. I’m not saying she’s undeserving og pity or sympathy, but don’t blame the media for her self-destruction.
    You dance with the devil, the devil don’t change…the devil changes you…
    no, sorry, ’8 MM’ should never be quoted…
    “The FIIILM is REAL!!” OK, I’ll stop…

  18. “You say something cutting and sarcastic about Steven Spielberg…” You kid MilkMan, but a recent Spielberg bashing led to one of the best H-E threads in recent memory long after the crowds had moved on to more Britney/Barack/Box Office/Bullshit.

  19. “recent Spielberg bashing led to one of the best H-E threads in recent memory”
    Amen to that. 253 posts, and we’d still be going if it hadn’t been automatically dropped from the main page.

  20. “You say something cutting and sarcastic about Steven Spielberg…” You kid MilkMan, but a recent Spielberg bashing led to one of the best H-E threads in recent memory long after the crowds had moved on to more Britney/Barack/Box Office/Bullshit.

  21. Speaking of that thread, Kurt Russell came up at one point and I believe no one mentioned Used Cars. I was just reminded of that movie a couple of days ago. Kurt Russell classic.

  22. This looks like Britney got a taste of Magnum Force.
    Posted by: p.Vice at January 31, 2008 02:43 PM
    Best comment ever. But now you should quit while you’re on top. A man has got to know his limitations.

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