Breathless
I can’t believe I’m planning to pay money out of my own wallet — the fruit of extremely hard and grueling day-to-day effort — to see Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay (New Line, 4.25) sometime later today. I know what I’m in for. It’s going to make me want to to kill myself Khmer Rouge-style with a blue plastic bag. But I missed the damn press screening and I need the ammunition that will derive from being able to know and say “yes, I’ve seen it.”
Especially knowing what I do about Kal Penn, which is that he’s an animal. I know of no other youngish actor who conveys chronic brain-cell blockage and open-mouthed slovenliness like Penn does time and again. I’m not saying he’s literally an unbridled idiot off-screen, but he’s relentless at trying to convince audiences that his characters are low-born and dumb as fenceposts, and after a while the effort carries over.
I didn’t realize Penn had the bona fide ape gene until I caught Mira Nair‘s The Namesake (’06), in which Penn played the son. I thought I might be treated to some other aspect of his personality, that working with Nair would allow him to shake off the low-rent moves and attitudes that he’s used in Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle and all the other 20-something TV shows and crap-level movies he’s been in.
But within minutes of his first appearance in The Namesake, Penn went into this standard routine, which boils down to that clueless-asshole expression plus that open-mouthed thing he does in nearly every scene. What a creep, I told myself then and there. He can’t class himself up for even a single role. Penn plays it fairly straight and restrained throughout most of The Namesake, but I didn’t believe for a second that he wasn’t a major dumbass beneath the skin.
The only time I half-believed a Penn character might actually have something going on upstairs was during his brief performance in Mike Binder‘s Man About Town.
Penn’s decision to teach two current undergrad courses at the University of Pennsylvania — “Images of Asian Americans in the Media” and “Contemporary American Teen Films” — in no way belies or undercuts what I’ve said here. He doesn’t just “play” morons convincingly — he convinces you that it goes deeper than that.
“The Asian American Studies Program is delighted that Kalpen Modi, a.k.a. Kal Penn, chose our program to host his teaching engagement at Penn,” Grace Kao, director of the Asian American Studies Program at Penn, said last year. “Mr. Modi is one of the leading Asian American actors of his generation and is particularly aware of how his racial and ethnic identification has affected his professional experiences.” And that’s supposed to mean what exactly?
Too bad he isn’t hispanic and overweight…
how did this master thespian, especially with that ugly face, even get a job in the first place?
I’d be very hesitant to call someone stupid just based on their ability to play idiots on screen convincingly, especially if you’ve never had a conversation with that person or have nothing else to go on. In checking IMDB, I saw that he has a college degree and his father is an engineer and his mother has a master’s degree in chemistry so he looks to have very strong genes in his family background.
Jeff, you realize that you just killed any credibility you might’ve had with your opinions on this film. You’ve basically just admitted that you’re going to see the movie so that you can have more “ammunition” for your pre-conceived notion.
And I don’t really get what you’re trying to say about Penn. You’re saying that he’s not “an unbridled idiot off screen” but he is “a major dumbass beneath his skin”? I can honestly say that I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Well, obviously, all actors are *exactly* like the characters they play on screen in real life, and stereotyping, unimaginative casting directors have nothing to do with it. Also, selective editing to highlight character aspects, as in documentaries or reality television shows, always give a 100% true indication of the truth of a human being.
Doesn’t this kind of inability to seperate actor from performance belong in the realm of daytime soap opera fans?
If you tie this in with the recent ‘Fat Phobia’ threads, you’re basically breaking us all down to Books You Can Judge By Their Covers.
If it’s a choice between having a conversation with Paris Hilton, or George Eliot, I know who i’d chose.
Jeff, the fact that you don’t think Mike Binder’s “Man About Town” is one of the worst films made in the last ten years is proof to me that you’re just as retarded, if not moreso, than Kal Penn.
“Man About Town” is tone deaf and awful in every way, and if you want to do a rant on someone who’s completely unlikeable and the worst thing in every film she’s cast in, then Bai Ling is your girl.
I’m not saying this to either defend him or not to, but I just thought I’d call your attention to the fact that he is teaching a course at the Ivy League’s University of Pennsylvania as we speak:
http://media.www.dailypennsylvanian.com/media/storage/paper882/news/2007/03/26/News/Kal-Penn.To.Teach.At.Penn.In.Spring.08-2791353.shtml
Wells is right on the money with this — I deify anyone to watch Superman Returns and Epic Movie and convince yourself this guy is an actor (if you can actually GET THROUGH Superman Returns and Epic Movie, that is — christ.) Good work calling this non-performer out, Wells. Now please investigate the merits of my other favorite blank slate, Kevin Pollak.
Kevin Pollack? who is great by the way in usual suspects and deterrence … H&K has peaks and valleys but the bottomless party could soon be a Vegas reality and John Cho and Kal Penn at least have the chemistry of chris farley and david spade … Also in baby mama they use the word “taint” twice in the slang manner in which it is meant
Kevin Pollak was not great in Usual Suspects, though to be fair, it wasn’t his fault. He never should have been cast in the first place. He conveys toughness like Paris Hilton conveys wit and verve.
Jeff: “I can’t believe I’m planning to pay money out of my own wallet — the fruit of extremely hard and grueling day-to-day effort — to see Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay”
It’s actually an entertaining film, and probably one of the few “too soon” flicks which is guaranteed to be a hit. It’s not as witty as the last one, or as clever as Team America, but it’s better than sitting through another Apatow delusion. (I mean comedy.) There’s some bonus stuff after the credits, too.
“He doesn’t just “play” morons convincingly — he convinces you that it goes deeper than that.”
That’s how I feel about Seth Rogen.
Aris: “how did this master thespian, especially with that ugly face, even get a job in the first place?”
See above.
Raymond: I actually don’t remember him in Superman Returns, so it must have been really brief.
He plays one of Lex’s henchman in Superman Returns. He is also in the show House and plays an idiot doc (who’d a thunk?).
D.Z. – It’s actually an entertaining film, and probably one of the few “too soon” flicks which is guaranteed to be a hit.
HIT? You think 15mil opening weekend is a hit? I hope you’re joking.
Some of you fuckers need to start remembering you’re talking about someone with brown skin. Especially Wells. I can get this from freerepublic.com if I want it. Just sayin’
typical: An R-rated stoner movie making that kind of money is a hit, yes.
Oh, and a Hitchcock movie not on dvd(Frenzy) is playing with Psycho at the New Beverly in a few weeks.
I thought Penn was terrific in THE NAMESAKE. Not a dumbass at all. An actor to watch, if not necessarily in his bread-and-butter pictures.
Really. IMDB.com him. He is everything Jeff says plus he also is a supporter of Barak Obama, He even went on the campaign trail supporting him. All this is very true.
Where’s the Jean Luc Godard related material?
DZ Frenzy IS on DVD see how WRONG you can Be.
Sorry, didn’t see it listed on IMDB, but you’re right.
Penn’s role in Superman Returns, mentioned above, is one where he doesn’t speak, if memory serves. And, I’m pretty sure it’s due to Singer’s cutting the film instead of the guy being a dumb mute.
Also, idiot doc or not, he’s fine on House, and was also good in the Namesake. If there’s a problem, it’s that most people might just know the guy as Kumar, and nothing else. And it’s a big if.
He looks like an Indian Zack Braff.
Where’s the Jean Luc Godard related material?
Kal Penn is apparently an ugly neanderthal, yet Jeff considers Adrien “The Tongue” Brody to be a stud. Yeah, figures.
Now you know the pain some of us feel every time we see Seth Rogen pulls one of his patented dumb guy looks.
Granted, I don’t work “with” him on House but I am in and around the set nearly everyday. I see him and most of the cast on a daily basis. And my experiences with him have been nothing but kind and cordial. There are a few of the actors on House that spurn any contact with peons like myself. Penn is definately not one of them. In fact, aside from Robert Sean Leonard, he is probably the friendliest of the cast and the most willing to engage in conversation.
Now I realize this isn’t much in the way of a defense for Wells’ argument but I think it’s awfully unfair for Wells to indict him personally based on the roles he plays and his perceived intelligence based on those rolls. My experience with him has been that he is a relatively decent and intelligent guy.
Two things:
1) Just saw this a few hours ago… It’s awesome. It’s outrageous, it’s hilarious, it’s biting to just about every social group possible. It’s got George W. smoking up with them, his own special joints laced with cocaine. It’s got a “bottomless” party with lots of expertly shaved vaginas all over the place. It’s awesome.
2) Kal Penn is extremely bright. This is a fact. His “moron” role in Harold & Kumar is ranchy; it is not dumb. Moreover, having seen him and heard him on numerous times, his interviews are extremely intelligent. Extremely. I wish I was at UPENN to ttake his classes. I’m a law student, but just taking his courses would be a ton of fun, and I’m sure very insightful.
Oh, and if Wells is “judging” Kal Penn’s intelligence and social identiy based on his ACTING PERFORMANCES in a collection of films… well then Wells is an idiot.
Be a real journalist and interview a guy before saying he’s an idiot with a career as a token Asian. Fucking Bill Murray played the same guy, the same guy!, in like 10 80′s comedies in a row… did that make him talentless, vapid, or idiotic?
Christ. This is depressing blog entry to read.
Oh, and belive me: after seeing Harold and Kumar Wells is going to be emailing the Director hoping for some stillshots…
How Wells calls people “creep” or a “major dumbass” from an ACTING PERFORMANCE, with his baggage is beyond me.
Kalpen Suresh Modi had to change his name, i.e. dumb it down, to get casting calls: Kal Penn sounds more “normal” and “casual.”
Now, he’s got “intelligent” film writers calling him a fucking moron because he’s successfully making and selling sex comedies? Yeah, how many Indian actors do you know that open and sell movies to mainstream America? To American youth?
I’ve been on the set of House while Kal Penn was there and all I can say is the guy is one of the douchiest assbags I’ve ever met. I introduced myself to him, said the usual, Hey, I’m so and so, and all he could think to say in response was, I don’t bother you with my problems, do I? He’s got the biggest mouth I’ve ever seen, and I mean that literally. Likes to have a chuckle at the expense of other people, yet has no sense of humor if the humor isn’t coming directly out of his chunnel-sized pie hole. He’s the punjabi Jerry Lewis to Cho’s Dean Martin. Now Cho, there’s a smooth mofo. I could tell you stories about what he and Anna Faris used to do in her traler on the set of Smiley Face. These stories will make you sweat they’re so hot.
Milkman, I agree that Cho is a talent and quite funny. But my guess is you had one day on the Fox lot when you met Penn and decided he was a douche based on a 2 minute encounter. I doubt you are around the set on a daily basis so you couldn’t have a reasonable grasp of the truth.
I have no interest in getting into a pissing match with you or taking up Kal’s cause but I think the picture you paint is unfair. My experience with him has been nothing but great. I’m just a peon, Fox worker bee. And while we haven’t gone out for a beer after work, he’s always been cool to me(and honestly, he has no reason to be).
I guess what I am saying is there are plenty of other actors to spend you time slammiing, who deserve it. Kal hardly seems worth the time and on a personal level, doesn’t come off the way you describe.
Are you crazy, HoopersX, I’ve never been on the Fox lot, never met Kal Penn, and don’t know shit about Cho and Faris. I’m just cranky. It’s been a long day. Took the one year old to the Getty to see the California Video Exhibit. The tram ride up the hill scared the shit out of her, and I can sympathize, because I thought I was going to die on the bus ride up to Hearst Castle a few years ago. Scooter dug the museum, ate some Chicken and Wild Rice out of a jar, like this is a fascinating subject for you. Too bad, it’s late, I can’t sleep, and I’m trying to read J.Henry Abbott’s In the Belly of the Beast, but i can’t take it, I feel like the whole book is a con, which, in retrospect, I guess it was, a brilliant con, with Norman Mailer the mark and now some poor schmuck waiter is dead, although looking at a picture of Abbott you wonder how anyone could confuse him with the type of man it’s okay to cross swords with. Never been on the Fox lot, but when I was a kid I went to a taping of Night Court. That Markie Post was a stone fox. Drove me bananas. Still does. She must be, what 50? Speaking of 50, have you seen a picture of Jennifer Tilly? The hottest 50 year old woman I’ve ever seen. I sound like Larry King on a viagra drip.
Milkman: Scoring with Anna Faris is nothing to brag about, unless you have a thing for girls who make better best friends than lovers.
Milkman, I’d reply but every letter I type beyond this one is obviously a waste of time. So here’s to word economy. Enjoy the book and your Markie Post fantasies.
Do tell, Dan, do tell. I have a crush on Ana Faris ever since I saw Smiley Face. Is she a lesbian? Is that what you mean? Or do you know someone who slept with her and she’s like, a cold clam? I love this type of gossip. Here, I’ll trade one piece of mine for one of yours: I heard that Joe Pesci likes to lie underneath a glass table and watch girls go poop. That’s what Michelle Johnson of Blame it on Rio fame said. Not to me, of course. But to someone else.
I have no idea if he is smart or not but I agree he was miscast in the Namesake. He is not a strong actor. I think Mira should have cast an unknown who could act. It’s not the box office was helped because this guy was in it. The actors who played his parents wiped him off the screen.
He was pretty good in 24. I remember being impressed even before someone told me it was that idiot from Harold and Kumar.
“He doesn’t just “play” morons convincingly — he convinces you that it goes deeper than that.”
That’s gotta be a big compliment.
DZ, spoken like a man who’s never had either.
Looks like HoopersX has been Milk’d.
Oh dear, Jeff. What would be a key measure of Penn’s intelligence? His political opinions? You seem to hold a lot of stock in this measure, judging by your many posts on the primaries. Anyway, Kal Penn is an active campaigner for Barack Obama. He even appeared in the Spanish “Si Se Puede Cambiar” (Yes We Can Change) music video. Idiot.
Where’s the Jean Luc Godard related material?
“Every film is a documentary of its actors” –Jean-Luc Godard
See? Jeff’s right!
Someone even more idiotic in real life than Kal Penn onscreen is Burma Shave. He proves with his latest posting that his inanity seems to know no bounds:
“Some of you fuckers need to start remembering you’re talking about someone with brown skin. Especially Wells. I can get this from freerepublic.com if I want it. Just sayin’ ”
Burma, go on freerepublic.com or anywhere else online apart from hollywood elsewhere and parade your eloquence. Your jackass jester act long ago lost its novelty value and this is not a suitable arena to showcase the musings of the most tiresome fool in cyberspace.
You know who’s a prince of a guy? Brad Dexter.
This has got to be one of the most needlessly meanspirited posts I’ve seen at HE since finding the blog.
And I don’t think Jeff is even attacking him on any “cinematic” basis. Rather, this is reflective of an aesthetic snobbery steeped in Jeff’s whimsical and semi-bizarre notions of schlubs, thread counts, ways-people-breathe, etc. I wonder if Jeff saw the guy wearing sandals…
To the extent Jeff ever thinks of this one in the future, I bet he’ll regret it. Total dickhead post. Jeff – you’re better than this.
Well, and I don’t understand what he has against this movie anyway. I mean, I’m not expecting it to be Dr. Strangelove-level wit, but even a pro-torture Bush-worshipping Islamophobic hatemonger such as myself would rather sit through a comedy version of the standard Hollywood-lib opinions than A Very Serious Dramatic Film About The Present Situation. And I’ll bet, 30 years from now when Stop Loss and Redacted and In The Valley of Eegah are as forgotten as the serious nuke movies of the early 60s, a few choice lines or moments from Harold and Kumar Go To Gunatanamo Bay will sum up life in America circa 2008 for everyone.
I like pot movies
Here, here actionman.
I think Wells is cranky about this movie because it will outgross Stop Loss and Valley of Elah and Redacted, et al. combined in it’s opening weekend.
Silly potheads, issues are for “real” movies.
I can’t wait for Jeff Wells to post a review after he’s actually seen the movie. Or will he even bother?
HoopersX, long time readers of the comments here recognize MilkMan as a surrealist comedian nonpareil. About the only thing you should take seriously is his deep hunger for Markie Post. After all, how could Ben Stiller have realistically gone for Cameron Diaz when Markie Post was there playing her mom?
So when are Penn and Cho going to finally team up with Cheech and Chong in a movie? Bring in Willie Nelson, some Rastafarians, and those guys from How High, and it’ll be the Cannonball Run II of pothead comedies.
You know who’s a prince of a guy? Brad Dexter.
“Some of you fuckers need to start remembering you’re talking about someone with brown skin. Especially Wells. I can get this from freerepublic.com if I want it. Just sayin’ ”
Burma Shave is correct in what he says in his posting. It sure didn’t help the careers of Asian-American actors and actresses when they did serious and intelligent films like “The Joy Luck Club,” “Come See The Paradise,” “Picture Bride,” or “Three Seasons.” I mean, how many moviegoers have heard of or even remember names like Tamlyn Tomita or Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa? In order to play the “Hollywood game,” maybe an Asian-American actor has to do what Kal Penn is doing and make dumbass movies like the Harold and Kumar movies. Unfortunately, box office talks. It sure didn’t hurt Sally Field’s career when she portrayed the Flying Nun at the beginning of her career.
Mgmax: “And I’ll bet, 30 years from now when Stop Loss and Redacted and In The Valley of Eegah are as forgotten as the serious nuke movies of the early 60s, a few choice lines or moments from Harold and Kumar Go To Gunatanamo Bay will sum up life in America circa 2008 for everyone.”
You may be right.
Burma: Let’s just say they’ve metaphorically stuck it to me more than the other way around, and leave it at that.
nemo: I’d pay for that. Personally, I’d rather see a Halfbaked 2 one day, though.
tommysunshine, you keep talking like that I’m gonna have to take you in the back and screw ya.
Well, and I don’t understand what he has against this movie anyway. I mean, I’m not expecting it to be Dr. Strangelove-level wit, but even a pro-torture Bush-worshipping Islamophobic hatemonger such as myself would rather sit through a comedy version of the standard Hollywood-lib opinions than A Very Serious Dramatic Film About The Present Situation. And I’ll bet, 30 years from now when Stop Loss and Redacted and In The Valley of Eegah are as forgotten as the serious nuke movies of the early 60s, a few choice lines or moments from Harold and Kumar Go To Gunatanamo Bay will sum up life in America circa 2008 for everyone.
Thanks Bob! This post is complete!
Thanks Bob! This post is complete!
I love how people are now saying smart an acot based off of about 4 roles where he got paid to play a slacker.
On a whim, I paid. Pack house in Calabasas. Kids trying to sneak in. Everything you’d expect.
Was I shocked at the casual pot smoking logic? Cool girl gets engaged with a neocon moron, but prefers to get high with Penn and skip the wedding. The boys get high with “President Bush” who mixes “blow” with his smoke.
Got your attention? I thought so. Totally laugh at loud funny/stupid.
I hit “open-mouth slovenliness,” and got through more than half the post before I realized that I wasn’t reading an update on SEAN Penn’s performance at Coachella.
- Mark Ebner
http://www.hollywoodinterrupted.com
And I don’t really get what you’re trying to say about Penn. You’re saying that he’s not “an unbridled idiot off screen” but he is “a major dumbass beneath his skin”? I can honestly say that I have no idea what you’re talking about.
Designer Handbags
Answer Number one is a good one but add to it the need to do business studies at college to give you the knowledge to plan all aspects of an event. Try the large hotels that do weddings and other functions to see if they would take you on. bandyou forfait sans engagement forfait illimite forfait sms illimite forfait internet forfait bloque rio sfr rio orange rio sfr rio bouygues rio virgin forfait bloque calcul imc