Discipline

All right, that’s it — Twilight author Stephenie Meyer gets a permanent cultural demerit for telling Entertainment Weekly that Robert Pattinson‘s performance in the upcoming movie version is “Oscar-worthy.”


Twilight author Stephenie Meyer

Pattinson has a bright future ahead, but only a shameless and unrestrained egotist would call his performance, no matter how affecting or dynamic, a piece of Oscar bait, given that Twilight is generally considered to be gothic-romantic teen-girl trash and is therefore automatically out of consideration. On top of the fact that Summit Entertainment is barely screening Twilight and pissing journalists off as a result, or certainly making them suspicious.

Meyer “realizes that the hope of Twilight getting Oscar respect may have the blood drained out of it by the fact that this is a vampire romance and it’s basically aimed at teens,” according to Entertainment Weekly, but “when they see the movie — oh, my gosh — there’s no way not to love him!”

Maybe so — Patinson is obviously a good-looking guy and we’re all partial to Brits besides — but in what diseased realm does puppy-goth lovability translate into Oscar-worthiness? Meyer has to learn that without certain Oscar criteria agreed to and enforced by the filmmaking and film-reporting community, nothing means anything.

Oh, and Meyer gets another demerit for spelling her first name “Stephenie.”

  • TVMCCA

    Well, there’s always the Golden Globes…..

  • Rich S.

    “Stephanie, honey, please take your head out of the oven. Yes, I know you earned a personal demerit from Jeffrey Wells. But, with a lot of hard work and personal perseverance, we can get past this. If you want, I can take the mad money you have stuffed in the cookie jar and buy you a Lamborghini. Would that make you feel better?”

  • Mark

    What an idiot she is. Dreamboats don’t get nominated unless they play effeminate pirates based on guitar players in roller-coaster themed blockbusters.

  • DarthCorleone

    I’ll give her a demerit for tithing from that immense income to the Mormon Church. I wonder how she feels about Prop 8.

  • DeafBrownTrashPunk

    the movie looks like pure crap.

  • theultimatebiu

    BOO Twilight and BOO Stephenie. BOOOOO!!!
    I predict Twilight for 10 razzie nods

  • T. Holly

    More SATC for imps. I’m so despising her arrgance and her books, the movie, its fanbase and each and every one of the fans for the mind control and regressive backlash go-girl blowback Those girls ignored Calraigh’s comment and they’re stupid.

  • p.Vice

    Drop the 2nd M in mormon and that’s all you need to know.

  • iamanerd

    I guess we could attack her religious beliefs instead of her writing or the film based upon her writings.

  • juligen

    yeahh, I didnt get that part, so she is being attacked because she is a mormon? i have to say, tho i dont agree with them, I dont think you cannt thinkl ALL mormons are the same, right?

  • iamanerd

    Even if Mormons are all the same (but stereotyping blacks and gays is wrong!), who the hell cares? Talk about the damn movie if you’ve seen it, or talk about he books if you’ve read them. Leave the rest of it out. If your parents say that is how to spell your name, well most of us just go along with it. My brother spells Jefferey like that, but I don’t get pissed at Jeffrey Wells for spelling it the wrong way. Or Welles for that that matter. Jesus Christ.

  • dangovich

    The name of the lead character in Twilight is Bella Swan; an even worse offense than “Stephenie.”

  • T. Holly

    Mormon? Skip discipline, proceed to bondage and woodshed.

  • T. Holly

    Here’s Calraigh on the books, it’s worth repeating:

    “They basically paint a very cosy, rosy portrait of teen marriage and teenage pregnancy,…. First there’s heroine Bella’s willingness to marry her vampire lover Edward, even though it means becoming a vampire, leaving behind her family, and sacrificing any hope of a normal life. Then there’s her pregnancy and although she’s never wanted a child before, she immediately falls totally in love with the green-eyed baby boy she’s sure she’s carrying. She says at one point: ‘I wanted him like I wanted air to breathe,’ ‘Not a choice � a necessity.’

    “Gone for the most part is the sexy rapacity of Dracula; gone is the fine long tradition of gay vampires. These vampires mate for life, and they mate straight.
    It’s heroine’s dominant personality trait is low self-esteem, and nobody really has to give up anything.
    They’re straight-up boring.
    In much the same way that High School Musical garners it’s appeal from it’s straight-laced, ultra-clean morality, there’s something of that to be found in Twilight , except sacrifice and a bad self-image are the exclusive preserve of the female characters and not only that, they’re shown to be highly attractive traits; ones which will get you a man.”

  • DarthCorleone

    Bearing in mind that Neil LaBute is (or was?) technically Mormon, I’m not going to paint with the brush that all art from a Mormon source is bad. So forgive me if y’all took offense at my remark. I did mean it slightly tongue-in-cheek with this concept of “demerit” that Jeffrey established with the post, but – and I apologize for feeling this way – I am fairly angry with the Mormon church right now. I think I have a right to be. And – again, sorry – but in general when I meet a person who subscribes to that religion…well, I’m going to automatically question their capability for rational thought. Go read Under The Banner Of Heaven, and afterward if you still want to slam me for critiquing a person’s religious beliefs (not critiquing that person’s freedom to have and practice those beliefs – an important difference), then feel free.

  • The Winchester

    So, she’s not allowed to declare an actor worthy of an Oscar nomination based on pure conjecture and/or having loved the performance, but you’re allowed to?

    Can I get a demerit for claiming Jason Statham as Oscar worthy? Because when he rides that kid’s bike and kicks the guy out of his car through the window… well, let’s see Benecio Del Toro do THAT in Che.

    And take down Malkovich for Burn and Changeling on the balloon. Yes, he was the best thing in both, but neither are Oscar-worthy performances, or any better than the loser goth kid. And nobody’s talking about either except for you and this Meyer woman who misspells her name, Geoff.

  • TVMCCA

    T. Holly wrote:
    Here’s Calraigh on the books, it’s worth repeating:

    “They basically paint a very cosy, rosy portrait of teen marriage and teenage pregnancy,…. First there’s heroine Bella’s willingness to marry her vampire lover Edward, even though it means becoming a vampire, leaving behind her family, and sacrificing any hope of a normal life. Then there’s her pregnancy and although she’s never wanted a child before, she immediately falls totally in love with the green-eyed baby boy she’s sure she’s carrying. She says at one point: ‘I wanted him like I wanted air to breathe,’ ‘Not a choice � a necessity.’

    Which makes Kristen Stewart’s “write your personality on my blank slate–I’ll be your huckleberry” persona an ideal fit for Bella.

  • http://jermsguy.blogspot.com TheJERMSguy

    None of you have seen the movie. Now can we knock off the religious bigotry? 70% of black Californians voted Yes on Prop 8 too. Is it okay to hate them now too? Isn’t this an entertainment site? Is this America?

  • p.Vice

    Yeah, that could never, ever be construed as, say, RELIGIOUS in nature, could it iamanerd?

  • calraigh

    Thanks for the citation T.Holly!

    Everything looks so much more poetic in italics, don’t you think?
    I honestly think it’s an anti-abortion allegory; you can all attack me for being ridiculous or over-reaching or militant-whatever.
    The half-vampire foetus that the protagonist Bella is carrying starts killing her from the inside out. Even as it breaks her ribs and sucks the life from her, she proclaims, “I won’t kill him.” But does she have to face the consequences of this choice? No, because vampire magic suddenly allows mother and father to hear the foetus’s thoughts, and to discover that it already loves them!

    It’s certainly based on a fundamentally conservative ideology and now that I know ” Stephenie” Meyers is a Mormon I feel like I’ve just completed a giant, smug jigsaw puzzle.

    P.s I’d just like to provide the caveat that I do not read this tat for enjoyment, purely monetary gain….

  • D.Z.

    Mark: Depp actually earned his Oscar-cred for Fear and Loathing.

    Anyway, Stephenie Meyer is this year’s Diablo Cody and Sophia Coppola-some hack chick-lit wannabe who manages to pander to shallow girls and women who don’t actually care about substance in their entertainment.

  • corey3rd

    sounds less like a vampire and more like a woman marrying a member of an extreme cult. Perhaps this is how her mormon faith plays a role in her “new vampires?” Sounds like Donnie Osmond.

    She’s pretty much defanged all the fun in being a vampire.

    I prefer the True Blood show.

  • DarthCorleone

    TheJERMSguy>> Yeah, it’s America, which happens to be this country that has this peculiar concept of separation of church and state. Perhaps you’ve heard of it. The Mormon church is impinging on that. It’s not bigoted to point that out.

    Hence, no, it’s not ok to hate black Californians. Black Californians as a group didn’t fundraise millions of dollars to fund the bulk of a duplicitous advertising campaign, thus calling their tax-exempt status into question. Black Californians as an entity didn’t publicly endorse the proposition, again an atypical political move for a tax-exempt church. Black Californians didn’t send out official requests to parishioners across the nation to fund a political campaign in a state that is not their own.

    I don’t hate Mormons. I respect their right to believe and practice as they like. What I don’t respect is their organization’s actions in the political sphere in this particular case.

    This is about ideology – not ethnicity. If you can’t see the difference, I don’t know what else to say.

  • scooterzz

    speaking of mormons…..the writer of ;milk’ and several episodes of ‘big love’, dustin lance black is a mormon…….
    when asked if he’s been shunned or excomunicated (or whatever it is mormons do to get rid of other mormons) for his homosexuality and work, he said no but he was looking forward to it……

  • mtgilchrist

    Wow – so much contempt and hatred for something that, uh, how many of you are familiar with? According to the comments above, one of you.

    If you don’t like Twilight, fine. If you don’t like Mormons or Mormonism, also fine. I am definitely displeased with their efforts to ban gay marriage. But how many of you are into something – a film genre, a musical genre, a book series, a band, anything – that other people might dislike or think is silly? If you all take movies as seriously as it would seem given the fact that you come here, then the answer is all of you. It doesn’t make that wrong, either. But have a little empathy for people who enjoy and indulge in something that’s meant as entertainment, even if you don’t think there’s anything entertaining about it yourself.

    Also, whoever said it above was right: who decides who gets to be an Oscar prognosicator and who doesn’t? People thought Renee Zellweger deserved an Oscar for Cold Mountain and that was one of the worst performances I’ve ever seen. Having actually seen Twilight, I would never argue that Pattinson is destined for Oscar glory playing this role, but there are plenty of performances that go unrecognized come Oscar time because they’re in a genre movie or something that people wouldn’t traditionally associate with Oscars. (Kurt Russell gives one of the most interesting and sophisticated performances of his career in Grindhouse, and no one was beating down his door to give him an award.) Is it really necessary to belittle and insult this woman because she thinks that the lead actor in a movie based upon her book was good enough to deserve an award?

  • T. Holly

    Not just any award, mtgilchrist, an Oscar — it’s going to her head.

    Calraigh, finally got a response to your comment: Bella armtwists Edward with her inner strength to get him to trust what he’s found with her. She’s a Christ figure for Christ sake.

    T. Holly-I just saw your comments. Bella is the embodiment of strength in Twilight, not Edward. Edward is the one who lets his fears get the best of him every time–he’s the one who causes so much of the suffering unknowingly, simply because he will not trust in what he’s found with Bella. Strength is a theme in the Twilight series–and SM [Stevenie Meyer] seems to reject the notion that strength can only be measured in physical prowess. I’m an old school feminist–don’t relate to today’s post feminist sentiments. But I think the knee jerk reaction to Twilight is in part due to people knowing the author is a Mormon housewife. And taking that bit of information, and letting that filter the books’ storyline, is anti-feminist in and of itself. SM’s Bella is a sort of Christ figure in the story, where it’s not through might-makes-right she overcomes adversity. Might makes right power is demonized and personfied through the oppressive Volturi dynasty. Love, and the courage to love the “wrong things”(bella had the courage to love Edward, his family, werewolves, and a baby that could mortally harm her), is what transforms “ordinary girls” into something superhuman in strength and courage.

  • T. Holly

    I gave them your latest to see if any leaves with thoughts attached fall from their collective tree of knowledge.

  • polarbear2

    Calraigh,
    If , as you say, the series is an anti-abortion allegory; then it has a subtext; which already makes it deeper than 90% of fantasy/romance movies, even if its a subtext you disagree with. Criticizing it makes you no different than conservatives who decry “True Blood” just because of its gay subtext.

    Vampires seem to work for everything. I should write a novel where bloodsuckers are an allegory for laissez-faire economics.

  • calraigh

    Polarbear2-
    Do you have a point? Are you trying to say that Twilight is 10% ”deeper” than the rest of it’s genre? Is this some sort of ringing endorsement?