A Chef Comedy?

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Entertainment Weekly's Christine Spines has reported about a casted and ready-to-roll David Fincher crime thriller called Ness, a kind of son-of-The Untouchables about famed Al Capone adversary Eliot Ness, and starring Matt Damon, Casey Affleck and Rachel McAdams. Plus I've heard a couple of things myself from a good source.

"So why hasn't Paramount gotten around to making the darned thing?," Spines asks. "That's the question around town as the clock ticks on the studio's rights to the project, which are due to expire on 12.5." I've actually been told the drop-dead date is December 12th.

"A source inside the negotiations says Damon and Affleck are ready to go," writes Spines, "and that McAdams has expressed interest, but Paramount has yet to pull the proverbial trigger.

"At press time, the studio insisted it only recently received a finalized script from Ehren Kruger (The Ring) and would make a decision before the rights ran out.

A source close to team Fincher has told me that Fincher is ready to make the picture immediately but can't get an answer out of Paramount because -- ready?-- production execs prefer that Fincher make a Keanu Reeves chef comedy instead.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on December 3, 2008 at 7:33 PM

comment #1

televisiontears says ...

As I was reading this, I kept wondering what the hell that headline meant. When I reached the end, I forgot all about the headline and thought: "A fucking chef comedy?! Are you serious?!" Sadly, a Keanu chef comedy would probably rake in more than a deadly serious Depression-era tale of obsession - which I'm assuming is the route Fincher would take. Regardless, is Fincher the man you'd want for that film when you could hire any hack studio bitch you wanted?

Speaking of Affleck and Damon, I watched Gerry again the other night and renewed my rage that so many people told this incredible film to go fuck itself.. Am I alone in loving the shit out of Gerry?

I just realized I've had quite the potty mouth in this comment. I must be drunk. Pleae excuse me while I go beat the dog.

Posted by televisiontears at December 3, 2008 8:42 PM

comment #2

NDH says ...

A chef comedy starring Keanu Reeves and directed by David Fincher? You couldn't even make up something so out-of-left-field. I actually hope this thing gets made so I can see what the hell it looks like.

Posted by NDH at December 3, 2008 8:54 PM

comment #3

BurmaShave says ...

Is NESS based on TORSO?

Posted by BurmaShave at December 3, 2008 8:58 PM

comment #4

Josh Massey says ...

The "chef comedy" is most likely Seared, which Fincher and Brad Pitt were attached to a few years ago. It's not exactly No Reservations.

Posted by Josh Massey at December 3, 2008 9:00 PM

comment #5

Geoff says ...

It has to involve the torso murders.

It's an even more frustrating case than ZODIAC considering how brutal the murders were.

Posted by Geoff at December 3, 2008 9:04 PM

comment #6

btwnproductions says ...

I thought Brian De Palma was doing an Untouchables prequel?

Posted by btwnproductions at December 3, 2008 9:09 PM

comment #7

corey3rd says ...

I just want Paramount to put out Seasons 3 & 4 of the Untouchables on DVD.

Posted by corey3rd at December 3, 2008 9:31 PM

comment #8

Daviddb says ...

Why would Fincher re-address the Zodiac story so soon? Torso sounds exactly like Zodiac...a period piece (and true story) about an obsessive detective who can't catch a vicious and elusive serial killer which leads to his downfall/retirement. Why does Fincher want to repeat himself so soon?

Isn't the serial killer genre been, ahem, done to death already?

Posted by Daviddb at December 3, 2008 10:03 PM

comment #9

Floj says ...

Sounds fun. I just hope it doesn't go the way of that proposed Michael Mann/Leonardo DiCaprio noir set on the MGM backlot...

Posted by Floj at December 3, 2008 10:18 PM

comment #10

YND says ...

@Televisiontears -- You're not alone. GERRY is one of the great films of this decade and the best thing Van Sant's done. Simultaneously profound and ridiculously entertaining, considering it's *just* two guys wandering around lost for most of it.

@Floj -- I remember talking to an exec out here when word of the Michael Mann/DiCaprio period piece started floating around. The guy opined that "no way will that ever get made" because the script involved recreating massive set pieces from movies like THE WIZARD OF OZ and GONE WITH THE WIND, "and Mann couldn't even shoot a f*#kin' cop movie in Miami without spending $130M".

I really want to see that movie someday, but the guy made a point...

Posted by YND at December 3, 2008 10:31 PM

comment #11

moorish says ...

Burmashave, I think it must be. Fincher has had Torso on his slate for awhile now -- seems unlikely that he would have two Eliot Ness projects on the go at once. Either way, let's hope they get cracking on it, pronto.

Posted by moorish at December 4, 2008 2:47 AM

comment #12

actionman says ...

The script for Seared is soooo good. I read that ages ago when Pitt was atached. Seared was essentially the Tony Bourdain story. I don't think this one with Reeves is Seared. But anything Fincher is fine by me.

Posted by actionman at December 4, 2008 5:13 AM

comment #13

T. S. Idiot says ...

Pitt would be an excellent Bourdain but not Reeves. Chefs are generally hyper, while Keanu is Mr. Slow Motion.

Posted by T. S. Idiot at December 4, 2008 6:26 AM

comment #14

gradystiles says ...

Yes, this is "Torso." Not sure why it's now referred to as "Ness," or if that's even accurate. The rights issue relates to the Brian Michael Bendis/Mark Andreyko comic book mini-series. The option is about to lapse.

Posted by gradystiles at December 4, 2008 7:34 AM

comment #15

DavidF says ...

I'll second what NDH said.
As awesome as this Ness thing sounds, a Keanu Reeves chef comedy directed by David Fincher sounds like one of the most unique cinematic creations imaginable. How can we pass that up?

Posted by DavidF at December 4, 2008 7:50 AM

comment #16

Nick Rogers says ...

If reports of Paramount's irritation with Fincher over his views on the touting / marketing of "Button" are true, the studio just might not want to work with him again.

And a Fincher chef comedy sounds to me like a tonal cousin to "The Weather Man," and I loved "The Weather Man."

Posted by Nick Rogers at December 4, 2008 8:39 AM

comment #17

Geoff157 says ...

Fincher's project is based on TORSO, but the reason it may be retitled NESS iis because Fincher has stated he is more interested in the story of Ness the man in his later years, after his stint in Chicago. Fincher's film would open with Ness running for mayor, and flashbacks would parse out the story of the torso murders.

De Palma's UNTOUCHABLES prequel, also at Paramount, has been stalled over questions about who owns the rights. Gerard Butler is set to play the Sean Connery role if they ever get it back off the ground. Both Butler and De Palma have said that the script is great. It was written by Brian Koppelman and David Levien, and then revised by David Rabe.

Posted by Geoff157 at December 4, 2008 10:48 AM

comment #18

actionman says ...

The Weather Man is disgustingly underrated.

Posted by actionman at December 4, 2008 1:18 PM

comment #19

Geoff157 says ...

http://www.digitalspy.co.uk/movies/a136620/fincher-to-work-with-reeves-on-chef.html

Posted by Geoff157 at December 4, 2008 9:35 PM

comment #20

Geoff157 says ...

From yesterday's Akron Beacon Journal:

http://www.ohio.com/news/35454829.html

Schwarz said David Fincher, a Hollywood director whose credits include Fight Club and Se7en, wants to shoot a $100 million budget film tentatively about the 1930s torso murders in Cleveland investigated by Eliot Ness after the untouchable brought down Al Capone in Chicago.

He said not passing the bill during the lame-duck session would kill the Fincher movie, because the director is going to scout locations in the next few weeks, and Nehst Studios would also probably begin looking at other states unless there was a strong indication that the governor was going to seriously consider tax incentives during budget negotiations early next year.

''There's still room to negotiate,'' Schwarz said, including on the issue of transferable tax credits.

''We're not adversarial. I'd love to see this happen for the state of Ohio,'' he said.

Posted by Geoff157 at December 4, 2008 9:39 PM

comment #21