comment #1

Dan Geiser says ...

So was that a typical regular theatrical movie going experience for you or was last night's crowd particularly obnoxious?

comment #2

Burbanked says ...

It's not that I would wish theater-going misery on you, Jeff, but DAMN I love these stories!

Okay, maybe I wish it on you just a little bit.

But did the girl's boyfriend ever show up or was that just something she said to keep the seat to herself?

comment #3

Jeffrey Wells says ...

No, the boyfriend showed up. It was typical for the 42nd Street theatres, which tend to attract a younger and moire animalistic crowd than the Lincoln Plaza.

comment #4

bill weber says ...

It's the Lincoln SQUARE.

comment #5

renorambler says ...

And people wonder why I rarely go to the theater anymore. When I have a nice HD tv at home why put up with the aggravation. I have two free movie passes that I won at a work function and even though I'd love to see Star Trek, Up, or any number of art house films that are passing through I can barely stand the thought. Most of the time, unless it's a big spectacle film, I just think wait for 6 months.

Sad, because I used to love going to films.

comment #6

Steven Kar says ...

I went to the Friday 10:15 p.m. Pelham show at the Magic Johnson theatre in Harlem.

It was packed, so the best I could do was to squeeze myself between 2 big black dudes. One of them smelled of alcohol and the other slept through the movie. Maybe he was the one who smelled of alcohol.

Two guys in the front lit up a joint so a lady shouted at them, "Are you fucking kidding me," and got up and brought with her the theatre security. They were escorted out.

At least 3 people brought with them their baby carriages and of course their babies inside their baby carriages. One of the babies started to sputter and cry but his mother was able to shut him pretty quickly.

Why would they bring babies to the late show of a loud movie and park their carriages in the aisle?

Then of course there were at least 2 groups of ladies who were engrossed in their own conversations. But that didn't bother me so much since the movie was very loud.

And finally, I had the actual movie to endure. What a piece of shit that was.

However, I still think that some of my best movie-going experiences has been at the Magic Johnson theatre in Harlem. But maybe I should just go to the weekday late shows or wait 2 weeks before I go to the popular movies.

And did I mention what a piece of shit Pelham was?

comment #7

buster keaton says ...

This is exactly the reason why I have no guilt about watching the weekend's new movies streamed from a Japanese website every Saturday night.

I hate putting up with these idiots, and don't mind watching movies on my computer where I don't have to deal with morons in the parking lot, the lobby, and the theater. No screaming kids, no "saved" seats, nobody rocking their chair in front of me.

Yeah, I wish I didn't have to watch a big movie on a little screen, and some of these flicks aren't always in focus, but compared with the bullshit you have to tolerate in theaters, I'll take those minor annoyances anytime.

comment #8

mutinyco says ...

I worked at Lincoln Square a dozen years ago. The worst part was cleaning up theaters after shows. Management consciously spaced showings one hour apart to ensure the clean-up crews could clear the crap out. Seriously, they'd have to send in a team of like 10 people to clean up the big Loews theater -- it was a disaster, like gremlins had been partying inside.

People are sick pigs.

comment #9

actionmam says ...

I have been to Michael Bay's private theater for several screenings and let me tell you, my experiences were quite different.

Big plush velvety chairs with pillowy-headrests and firm footrests.

Nice cool climate control - never higher than 71 degrees.

Hot little bitches in skirts and tube tops bring you buckets of popcorn and cold icees. I saw Michael talking to a few - they must be friends.

If you use a phone or send a text during the film. these big beefy friends of Michael stun gun you from behind. Happened twice to me during Transformers as I couldnt control my glee at some of the robotics. But I didnt mind.

comment #10

larry braverman says ...

I'm not allowed to recline my seat in coach?

comment #11

the sordid sentinel says ...

Granted I only attend 5-6 movies a yr. here in mid GA, but I've never encountered the nightmare viewing scenarios mentioned here and other blogs. I've seen cell phones light up here and there on occasion which is distracting, but that's about it.

comment #12

Steven Kar says ...

Larry,

You can. But if you're sitting in front of me, you're gonna have to endure my kicking.

comment #13

Steven Kar says ...

RE my comment #6,

I forgot the mention that the cellphones where going off every 5 minutes, and the cellphones lights were being turned on and off as people texted, and the woman in front of me brought a young girl to this profane, noisy, violent movie, as if the little girl would have any interest in such a movie. She spent the whole movie with her arms around this lady.

Also forgot to mention how much I loathed the movie.

comment #14

Jeffrey Wells says ...

No, Larry Braverman -- you're not allowed to recline your seat in coach. Okay, but only a bit. Anyone with a semblance of manners would never consider leaning their seat back too far. Rest assured if you lean your seat back into my 18 inches of private space I'm going to accidentally spill Cokes and cups of black coffee on your head all through the flight. Nothing against you personally -- it's just the way I deal with it.

comment #15

mccool says ...

The guy was a douche, but you should have realized that a 20-something girl would have a friend or boyfriend with her and wouldn't just be sitting there alone. You have some really strange ideas about marking territory, some kind of freudian obsession, and the girl didnt deserve your wrath.

And who really gets into altercations like these outside of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm?? You need to meditate, or swim with dolphiins....find some inner peace, do something

comment #16

hunterd says ...

I'd like to take a moment to point out that I've actually sat next to Wells at a movie, and he rocked in his chair, back and forth, like a praying rabbi for the entire 45 minutes that he stayed. He slouched real low and put his feet up on the rail in front of us and fidgeted nonstop.

comment #17

LexG says ...

"Look at him!" = Hilarious (and great) that Jett is apparently a chip off the awesome block, keeping to his dad's reasonable standards and refusing to sit next to some nasty and rude barefoot asshole. Most younger guys are kind of oblivious to stuff like that, so Wells has taught him well not to stand for things like that.

Also, it SADDENS me how many people who chime in here (and on many, many movie boards) would say "THIS IS WHY I WATCH MOVIES AT HOME ON MY COMPUTER/FLAT SCREEN."

Sorry, just not the same, I don't care how animalistic people are (and Wells' barnyard scenarios are infinitely familiar to this Valley-dwelling film geek.) Anyone who seriously values the craft of film has a PERSONAL OBLIGATION to make at least semi-regulation trips to a theater. If you see "six movies a year" in theaters, you're not really fit to chime in with what "sucks!" and "is cool!" It'd be like me making like I'm Vin Scully because I go down to Dodgers Stadium once a year in the fourth inning because I got free tickets at work.

A dedicated film lover should be in a theater AT LEAST once a week, preferrably three-four times a week... at least anyone whose judgments and opinions I'd value.

L.A. is FULL of know-it-all wannabe screenwriters fresh off the banana boat from Kansas who've hit that "OUT OF THE LOOP WHITE MAN" age of 33 where they don't go to movies anymore, don't listen to the radio or watch TV anymore, don't keep up with celebrities or music or pop culture, just Netflix the random new movie six months later (and never like it)... yet STILL think they're going to be in the biz, even though they demonstrate NO visceral passion for movies or moviegoing.

comment #18

mccool says ...

You can. But if you're sitting in front of me, you're gonna have to endure my kicking.

What the hell is wrong with people? I never recline my seat more than a few inches...but when someone reclines into my face, I usually tap them on the shoulder and ask if they would mind bringing it forward an inch or two. That's usually enough to make us both happy. That simple. I can't imagine sitting there stewing the entire time, kicking the seat like some six year old teasing his sister. Jesus what an infantile and unproductive way to resolve a situation. The only thing I can think of is that it must be satisfying in some way, offering you seat-kickers and teeth-mashers an excuse to act out your inner child.

comment #19

Steven Kar says ...

Take it easy mccool before you hurt yourself.

comment #20

Jeffrey Wells says ...

McCool wrote, "Who really gets into altercations like these outside of Larry David in Curb Your Enthusiasm? You need to meditate, or swim with dolphiins....find some inner peace, do something." A conservative troll is telling me to swim with dolphins? There were two empty seats on either side of the girl with no clothing or markings draped over either seat. By any basic territorial-marking standard she was obliged to choose which seat she was saving for her boyfriend. I've dealt with 20somethings before on theatre seating and they all seem to feel that markings aren't necessary -- wrong -- and that all they need to do is point to two or three or four seats near them and say "Oh, these are saved." Doesn't work that way, and I am ready to die in order to make this principle clear to all comers.

comment #21

Carl Kolchak says ...

"he said I was breathing on his head"

That made me laugh harder than anything I've seen in a movie in ages.

comment #22

George Prager says ...

I took a Greyhound bus a few years ago with my girlfriend and immediately knew I was in for a treat. A short, scruffy, defeated looking 50something man with a small duffel bag who looked like and extra from GONE BABY GONE sat in front of me and immediately mistook his aisle seat for a chaise lounge. I politely asked him if he could please move his seat up a little, that I had long legs. He said why don't you move to another seat. I said that the polite thing for him to do is move his seat up a little so he wasn't crushing my legs. He said maybe I'm not polite? Finally, he sighed and moved to the empty window seat in front of my much shorter girlfriend. He reclined in front of her, and my girlfriend, who was not enjoying this exchange at all glared at me, so I leaned over and asked him if he could move up his seat a little, my girlfriend has long legs too.

comment #23

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

That story's not true, George.

We all know you've never had a girlfriend.

comment #24

George Prager says ...

Where did this liberal vs. conservative crap come from. Most "conservatives" call themselves conservative because it makes them think they are intelligent. They are neither. Liberals refrain from calling themselves liberals, because "conservatives" think this means that "liberals" are supposed to be tolerant of everything that comes down the pike. If a someone calls them a nigger kike queer and then pulls a knife out of their cargo pants and plunges it into their eyeball, the liberal is supposed to say "Free speech! Groovy!" and then sell their car so they can contribute to their attacker's criminal defense fund. If they don't, then they are intolerant, not really liberals at all.

comment #25

George Prager says ...

"That story's not true, George.

We all know you've never had a girlfriend."

Your mother's not a girl?

comment #26

CitizenKanedforChewingGum says ...

You must have mistaken my family for yours.

It's okay, you grew up in WV. I understand.

comment #27

George Prager says ...

I'm my own Grandpa.

comment #28

Travis Crabtree says ...

mccool's a conservative? Why wasn't I informed of this earlier? Here I've been reading his posts like a fool. There should be some sort of marker next to his name, like a patch or a signifying letter or something.

And Wells, I hate to say "I told you so" but you should've know that guy would be a prick. He was bald. And UGLY.

comment #29

mccool says ...

You may have changed the words displayed to your readers, Jeff, but I know you read them....you read them and you removed them. Message delivered.

Try to relax, stop labeling everyone who thinks there's a different way to achieve the same goal a "conservative," and try a different tact when confronted with an annoyance. Blowing up at the girl was animalistic. Try talking to people.

comment #30

Aris P says ...

If an airline seat is built to lean back a certain amount, then if I want to lean it back, I'll lean it back. Get over yourselves. No one promised you any level of comfort in coach. If you want to be above it all, and comfortable and high and mighty about right and wrong, EARN MORE MONEY, work harder and sit in business class. Period.

comment #31

George Prager says ...

There's no business class on Greyhound, Aris P. It's every man for himself, AND IF SOME FUCK IS GOING TO LEAN HIS FUCKING SEAT BACK TO SUCH A DEGREE THAT I CEASE TO BE FUCKING COMFORTABLE, THEN I"M GOING TO FUCKING SQUEEZE HIS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A FUCKING PIMPLE!!!!!!!!

comment #32

mccool says ...

It's news to me too, Travis.

One last thing, Jeff .... most people here find glee in your misery. If it's just a blog thing, cool, but I'm one of the few people who actually express concern for your health and well-being. That's a conservative trait? More like a foolish bleeding heart...

comment #33

George Prager says ...

"So that is what hell is. I would never have believed it. You remember: the fire and brimstone, the torture. Ah! the farce. There is no need for torture: hell is other people."
-- Jean-Paul Sartre

comment #34

Gnome de Guerre says ...

I'm going to lean my seat all the way back. Why? Because the motherfucker in front of me is leaning his seat all the way back into my space, and the only way to get away is to lean mine back too.

Now you're behind me and don't like it? Talk to the guy in front of me. And he'll send you to the guy in front of him, and so on, all the way up to the fucking bulkhead. And then what?

That shlub has no seat to put his giant feet under, so he has to lean his seat back or else sit there like fucking daddy long legs, curled up with his knees by his chin. So guess what. Y'all are gonna have to deal with it. Give in and lean yer seats back.

And the last shmoe, the one with his back to the bulkhead? If you feel sorry for him, trade seats with him. And maybe he'll have mercy and won't lean his seat back into your face when he's in front of you. In fact, keep trading up, until you're up front, facing the bulkhead. Then you can lead by example and sit up nice and straight, like your 1st grade teacher taught you. And we shall follow ye, amen.

comment #35

bs.myvidoop.com says ...

That quote comes from No Exit. In Jeff's case, he could have stormed out in a huff if he couldn't take these insufferable plebeians any longer. The 'exit' signs were clearly illuminated.

comment #36

Gnome de Guerre says ...

And btw, if someone has seats open on both sides of them then they can't be saving both seats for the same boyfriend, unless they're dating Dr. Manhattan. Just wait until he pops in. You think that iPhone glowing four rows down is distracting?

comment #37

rr3333 says ...

Its the craziest thing, but in such a media portrayed 'PC' world, the reality is, people are meaner, nastier and more insensitive than they've ever been.

comment #38

DeeZee says ...

I hate to say it, but Moore's movie's gonna be a little late, since Scott clearly beat him to the punch with Pelham. I thought Scott was going to go for a 9/11 parallel, but he was really taking jabs at the corporate bail-out. And what's brilliant is when the characters can't tell the robbers engaging in stock fraud from the terrorists. Plus, the cherry on top is making the main character a religious nut, thus connecting the whole thing to Bush. Both the original version and remake of Pelham have weak second halves, but I did like the fact that the new one didn't waste time on a lengthy epilogue. Or maybe I'm just glad Denzel made up for such a ball-less Manchurian Candidate remake...

Steven: I didn't know Magic had more than one theater. And the real question is why would they bring babies to an R-rated movie?

actionman: So now we know why you *really* like Michael Bay movies-because he gives you the AICN treatment.

comment #39

DeeZee says ...

Forgot to add that Scott should've been the one to direct Die Hard 4, so it wouldn't suck so badly.

comment #40

televisiontears says ...

All the selfish assholes here that believe it's their God-given right to lean their fucking seat back all the way are probably the same selfish assholes that try to claim both armrests as soon as they sit down.

It's okay. You so deserve those armrests, and you so deserve to use my lap as a fucking pillow. Can I get you anything else? How about a kidney? Well you said you didn't need a kidney, but might as well have another laying around and this guy wasn't using it. Because you're the only one on the goddamn planet, and even if there was another person here, you're much better than them.

Next time I meet one of you pricks I'm gonna drop $75 on little bottles of Skyy Vodka just so I can work up the nerve to vomit on the spot where my lap used to be, but where your face currently resides. Because hey, I didn't work harder and make more money so I can fly business class, and if I want to vomit in your face a certain amount, I'll vomit in your face a certain amount.

comment #41

Blue says ...

I had a stroke of genius one afternoon in a movie theater when a man sitting in front of me began to spend time with his (quite bright) cell phone. I leaned forward and asked him if he was recording the film, and snapped his phone shut quicker than had I politely asked him to stop texting.

comment #42

Gnome de Guerre says ...

televisiontears, aren't you being a selfish prick insisting that the asshole in front of you take you into consideration? He's already dealing with the shmuck in front of him and now you want to burden him with your woes too? Is it so difficult for you to lean your seat back and reclaim your rightful amount of space that way? "Wahh, but I don't wanna lean my seat back! The guy behind me will think I'm an asshole!" No asshole, he already does, because your breath is weak and smells like vomit.

comment #43

televisiontears says ...

I'm failing to see any kind of logic in your comment, Gnome. I'm not leaning my seat back because I don't want the person behind me to be uncomfortable for six hours, not because I care what they think of me. Common courtesy is kind of an antiquated concept these days, I guess.

Keep trying, buddy.

comment #44

punchdog says ...

Jeff, this exact thing happens to Hank Moody in the first episode of Californication. Except, he beats the shit out of the cell-phone asshole. I think you might get some catharsis from watching it, if you haven't already...

comment #45

Butters says ...

Amazingly, I agree with Jeff about marking the seats. If you are saving seats for other people they NEED to have something on them like a jacket. The worst is when there is one person trying to save 15 seats. People think they should get special treatment and be able to show up when the previews are playing and still get a good seat. Show up early like most people do or you can expect to get a bad seat.