Oh, Come On
A friend wrote last night that “there’s a rumor starting that Eddie Murphy wants to play Michael Jackson in a biopic.” Patently absurd on more levels than I’d care to list, I wrote back. He’s too old, for one thing. He doesn’t remotely resemble Jackson. His voice is all wrong. He isn’t willowy or feathery or girly enough. “I don’t even know why I’m pointing this stuff out because it’s one of the silliest casting ideas I’ve heard in ages,” I concluded.
There’s a film, obviously, in Jackson’s story. But it would have to be called The Damned or, if the producers want to sound less judgmental, How To Ruin Your Life. And they’d need to cast someone who would look exactly like him and could obviously play him to a T. Someone young, androgynous, unknown. Wait…it just hit me. They should do a Cate Blanchett in I’m Not There and cast a young African-American woman. I’m serious.
Does the idea of re-using the title of of Luchino Visconti‘s 1969 classic seem harsh to anyone? Think again. But first re-read all the articles that Maureen Orth wrote about Jackson for Vanity Fair, particularly an April 2003 piece called “Losing His Grip” and a March 2004 followup called “Neverland’s Lost Boys.”
They should just cast Janet.
You’re right about Murphy on all but one issue: his voice could be perfect. He did a killer impression of Jackson in his stand-up days.
I say get Alfonso Ribeiro. He can finally take up the mantle he was promised during those Pepsi commercials.
Man, these Hitler things were really funny the first 2 or 3 times. It’s way over now, isn’t it?
Are the people doing these wearing Zubaz pants and listening to the new MC Hammer album on their Sports Walkman?
Hey, Moonwalker was cool! Or am I confusing it with the arcade game…? At least it’s better than The Wiz, anyway.
I’m sure I remember a Jackson Five biopic from years ago. I saw it as a kid. I only remember it because there was a scene when they came second and won a TV or something at a talent contest, but because they didn’t get first place Joe Jackson goes mental and won’t let them claim their prize.
Maybe it was about Elvis, I can’t remember.
yep, there WAS a Jackson Five biopic from the 90s and I saw that, too.
and I agree with PaulF, those Hitler parody videos are getting really cliched, tiring, and boring.
If Jonathan Rhys Meyers can play Elvis, he can do MJ, too. He’s androgynous, tormented, and creepy.
Or Robert Pattinson, after a nose job. Unless he’s bored with the vampire shtick.
Hey Wells why dont you play him….
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0104541/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Jacksons:_An_American_Dream
Has anyone actually seen that Jackson Five movie in it’s entirety?
I use to catch some of it on VHI, but it seemed like it was 4 hours long and they aired it back to back – so you’d turn it on and view a little, do something else and then turn on VHI 8 hours later and it’s still on! You could tell me the movie was 12 hours long and I would believe you.
To this day I still have no idea where the story begins and where it ends.
Anything involving Hitler is not only not funny, it makes me nauseous. I don’t give 2 shits about parody.
The crimes of Jackson that rankle Wells’ should preclude him from inserting Hitler youtube links.
Well… it’s Rick Baker who does all of Eddie Murphy’s character make-ups. And… it’s Rick Baker who created Michael Jackson’s make-up for Thriller.
bents75 says …
Has anyone actually seen that Jackson Five movie in it’s entirety?
I use to catch some of it on VHI, but it seemed like it was 4 hours long and they aired it back to back – so you’d turn it on and view a little, do something else and then turn on VHI 8 hours later and it’s still on! You could tell me the movie was 12 hours long and I would believe you.
To this day I still have no idea where the story begins and where it ends.
yea, my sister was a huge fan and made me watch it all the time.
It’s actually pretty incredibly depressing.
after you see it, you understand how messed up michael was along with everyone else.
what’s sad is that most people came away with it liking the music more than understanding Michael.
Anyone remember Phil Hartman’s take on Reagan? Plays the old fool for the cameras, then behind closed doors juggles multiple balls, speaks fluent Russian, and pretty much becomes Les Grossman. That’s the direction i hope any Jacko biopic takes. Michael walking around in pajamas, giggling like an 8-year old, then in private threatening Pellicano to do his job, selling off debt to Arab shieks then renegging on promises to play their daughters Sweet 16, and saying “lunch is for wimps” a lot before slamming the phone.
Two things that are seriously grating on my nerves:
#1 People who review their expectations of a film, instead of the film itself (see any HE Hurt Locker post for examples).
#2 People who spend 20 hours a day connected to cable tv, Iphones and the internet, complaining that ANYTHING is over done.
Step back, unplug, go outside. Take a breath.
Given the “All MJ all M Day” virus that’s infected televisions everywhere, I wish Comedy Central would grow a pair and rerun the “The Jeffersons” ep of South Park already.
Evan Rachel Wood should play Michael Jackson. Or maybe Dakota Fanning.
Bosh: Speakin’ of Joe, looks like he got left out of the will. http://omg.yahoo.com/news/report-michael-jacksons-2002-will-leaves-estate-to-mother-children-charity/24591?nc
Wow, Stringer Bell. You’re awfully uptight. Those Hitler videos are getting old, but people like you make me hope Sacha Baron Cohen develops some sort of Nazi character…
I’ve been to Dachau and found my family name on a list of detainees. I went to the Holocaust Museum the day I saw SCHINDLER’S LIST and after never wanted to kill someone more than I wanted to find some Neo Nazis to “get medival on” just to vent the emotions that got stirred up.
That said, my biggest regret of my big Eurail trip to Europe in the 80′s was not buying the “Hitler World Tour” T-shirt (on the back it had a list of countries invaded with “Cancelled” written over England and the US) which to this day cracks me up. Funny is funny and you laugh at evil to basically deball it’s power it can have on you.
So, lighten the fuck up, Stringer.
Matt & Groupie: You’re both entitled to your opinion, but I’m entitled to mine. If you had lost family because of this monster, you wouldn’t tell me to lighten the fuck up.
I’m of sick of Hitler being the only evil one!
Where’s Dick & Bush?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qQXddCgDxjk
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