“No One Told Me About Her”

Despite (500) Days of Summer essentially being a film about how to make yourself miserable by living in your own romantic bubble and ignoring obvious warning signs about the character of your beloved, which makes it a partly intriguing but partly tedious thing to sit through because it’s obvious early on that the relationship between Joseph Gordon-Levittt and Zooey Deschanel can’t work because “she’s not there,” the film has caught on with 20somethings and that’s the bottom line.

I’m okay with that. Everyone is. Marc Webb‘s film has some mildly arresting aspects. Gordon-Levitt’s looks are still too Japanese dweeby for my tastes, but his performance is more tolerable in this film than anything he’s previously done. The Graduate allusions are well realized. The musical fantasy sequence is very nicely done. There’s a class of guys out there who regard Deschanel as hot stuff (Jett among them) so why not leave well enough alone? Because I can’t. If I was 25 and ran into her in a bar (and if she wasn’t “Zooey Deschanel”) I wouldn’t even turn my head.

  • sumo-pop

    Lay off the looks Wells. They are both attractive people. Clooney-Pfeiffer attractive? No. The movie is about what the heart wants. And the heart wants what it wants. End of story.

  • Ryansi51

    “Japanese dweeby” is just too odd to be offensive. just barely.

    and i think zooey is cute as hell, interesting look, and i bet she looks stunning in person- really need to see She and Him live.

  • Brendan

    Jett is a smart young man. Zooey is the quirky female friend that you would hook with one night after one too many and you would enjoy every second. The next day you would go to breakfast, talk, laugh and then go your separate ways. All along, you would think back kindly to the experience, knowing the next time you saw her everything would be cool. She will always be more mature then you, but she will never let on, always making you feel more special then you truly are.

    Plus, She & Him rock. Download “Why Do You Let Me Stay Here” Jeff, it’s 2:31 minutes of pop music gold.

  • Zooey D. is gorgeous! My word, Wells! Is your eyesight fading you this early.

    Gordon-Levitt, however, is more Korean-dweeby.


  • Zooey D. is gorgeous! My word, Wells, is your eyesight fading you this early?

    Gordon-Levitt, however, is more Korean-dweeby.


  • /3rtfu11

    AFAIK he’s Jewish.

  • DeafBrownTrashPunk

    HAHAHAHAH WTF is Japanese dweeby. You’re not a 20something years old woman, Wells. Plenty of ladies find him charming, attractive, want him in their bed, AND would bring him home to meet the ‘rents.

  • actionman

    “The movie is about what the heart wants. And the heart wants what it wants.”

    Sumo-pop — you mind if I use that line?

  • DavidF

    1) JGL is Jewish and both parents are “white” as far as I know too. Yeah, he’s got squinty eyes but I feel like we’re only a few steps from measuring his skull shape to produce a phrenological assessment here.

    2 ) I really liked the movie though it was occasionally a bit too cutsey. Both leads were great, the concept was original and stuff which could have been cheesy (like the Hall & Oates bit) were very well done.
    It’s also a rather unique cinematic look at LA.
    At the end of the day it sticks to its guns by not getting the couple together just because you think convention dictates it should.
    3) I don’t find Zooey super-hot but she’s obviously attractive. Those eyes were created to be put on film. Webb designed the entire production scheme around them for crissakes.

  • CitizenKanedforChewingGum

    lolz@Japanese dweeby.

    Where does he come up with this shit?!

  • sumo-pop

    You makin’ fun of me Actionman?

  • CitizenKanedforChewingGum

    You’re not cheating on your new wife already now are ya, actionman?

    Well, okaaaaaaaay if it’s with Michael Bay I guess she might understand.

    I keed :-P.

  • BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey

    I loved it. Glad to see it’s doing well, and I expect it’ll be a popular DVD also.

    You’d definitely look twice at Deschanel if you saw her in real life.

  • shanes5

    I seriously doubt Jeff was ever in ZD’s league…the point is moot.

  • BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey

    Even when I say a certain actress isn’t that attractive by Hollywood standards – Megan Fox, for example, who I think is hugely overrated – I’ll still admit that I’d crawl over broken glass to shag them if I saw them in real life.

  • actionman

    not by any stretch, sumo. i love what you wrote and want to use it in my review.

  • Noiresque

    I consider Joseph Godon-Levitt to be of above-average hotness. I prefer him to the likes of, say, Ryan Reynolds/gym-rats. You’re disdain of what you perceive as his Japanese/Hawaiian/nerdiness is weird to me.

    And if I looked in the mirror and saw Zooey Deschanel’s reflection, I would be a very happy camper. She has a great combination of skin, eyes, hair and smile. She looks lovely, even if her acting leaves a lot to be desired.

  • VoiceOfReason

    My sister has seen this flick 3 times. And she claims she hates Zooey Deschanel.

  • MickTravisMcGee

    I call it “Annie Small.” The movie had a few moments of inspiration but they were drowned out by contrivances and a strange air of self-satisfaction.

    I think it all boils down to the Hall & Oates dance sequence. I found that moment hackneyed and trying way too hard — it was like something out of Moonlighting or the Drew Carey Show. Most of the people who enjoyed it in my screening where those people who laugh really loud but not very sincerely, so everybody knows they’re DIGGING IT. “Woo-hoo-hoo-HOO!!”

  • KC

    Wells, you lost touch with The Kids when you couldn’t imagine Ellen Page getting laid. Zooey Deschanel and Tommy Solomon are both hot.

  • sumo-pop

    Then use away, Actionman.

  • arturobandini2

    “Annie Small” is brilliant, Mick. Am I the only person who’s been calling last weekend’s shitfest “C.G.I. Joe”?

    Been ga-ga for Zooey ever since Mumford. (Whatever happened to the great Loren Dean?) Joseph GL would’ve been fine in 500 Days except, physically, he looked like her kid brother. Maybe that was the point; she seemed annoyed or bored with him half the time, like a slutty babysitter. The other half of the movie was just a series of music montages. Zero points for chemistry.

  • Colin

    No you’re attacking someone for looking Japanese?! Congrats Jeff, you’re Rush Limbaugh.

  • Colin

    should read now

  • bisonfilms

    see deschanel in all the real girls. it might change your mind about her attractiveness. it’s precisely because she’s not a “hottie” that she emerges as irresistible.

  • The Hoyk

    Strong Bad doesn’t particularly like 500 DAYS OF SUMMER, or any independent films for that matter:


  • Helium

    Anyone ever locate that Robbie Robertson/Martin Scorsese-as-roommies screenplay? Anyone wanna just write one? Gordon-Levitt would make the perfect Robbie

  • Baron Munchausen-by-Proxy

    Actionman – you can use the line, as long as you cite it properly to Woody Allen, and not to sumo-pop, who proudly acts like he invented this ‘new’ bon mot.

    Sumo – were you as ‘understanding’ and ‘accepting’ when Woody coined it in his circumstances.?

  • Alboone

    Such a good movie. Involving in ways that don’ condescend .One of the best of the year. It’ll definitely be up for a best original screenplay nod and it should win. Zooey I think might be a shoo-in.

  • the400blows

    I agree, Alboone, it was one of the best of the year. I loved how their relationship fell apart because of The Graduate. I could definitely relate to that. Also, I liked one of her last lines in the film: something about true love exists but it just wasn’t with her. This is the type of film that the French would’ve made.

  • EricGilde

    Funny, when I saw the film all I could think about regarding JGL’s looks was that his face reminded me so much of Heath Ledger’s.

    Is it just me? Or has this already been discussed and I missed the thread?

  • BoshBarnetWonkyDonkey

    Eric: JGL is a decent bet to take the Joker role if Nolan uses the character again in the next Batman film. He’s working with Nolan on Inception now.

  • snowback

    Zooey’s attractiveness is totally different in person. I don’t think she looks great on screen, especially in this movie (except in the back-story scene and the wedding scene), but in person her eyes are ridiculous.