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This is one of the better monologue kickoffs that David Letterman has ever delivered. That first line is perfect, and what a laugh it gets! And his facial expressions -- his eyes especially -- before he says the first word are brilliant.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells on October 6, 2009 at 9:09 AM

comment #1

Sean Author Profile Page says ...

"There is no off position on the genius switch."

Do his video embeds usually have that vanity card? Or is it a subtle way of cultivating his own little Polanski defense?

Posted by Sean Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 9:35 AM

comment #2

vault_17 Author Profile Page says ...

Fuck Letterman. I am a middle manager at CBS and I had to just complete the same FOUR mandatory sexual harassment courses every other middle manager at CBS had to complete. In them, they outline scenario after scenario where a boss gives an employee favorable treatment (in this case, appearing in skits) in exchange for dipping his wick. Anyone else in the company would get fired for this shit, but Dave gets a round of applause.

And yes, I know Worldwide Pants is its own company. But what to you expect from a network whose CEO diddled his AM news show host and then gave her the big brother hosting gig?

Posted by vault_17 Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 10:08 AM

comment #3

SnarfTheFierce Author Profile Page says ...

After reading that, it's not too hard to figure out exactly why vault_17 is a middle manager.

Posted by SnarfTheFierce Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 10:30 AM

comment #4

Stringer Bell Author Profile Page says ...

I've watched Dave for decades, but if the shit he pulled was done by middle management, he'd be LONG GONE.
Besides the obvious NO-NO's, he was also doing the deeds on CBS/Pants property.

Him and Team Dave did the smart thing, though, since denying would have seriously backfired on him.


Posted by Stringer Bell Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 11:08 AM

comment #5

BurmaShave Author Profile Page says ...

vault_17, Dave brings in tens of millions of dollars every year. What planet are you on. Indeed, there is a double standard. Rock and roll. Deal with it.

Posted by BurmaShave Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 11:36 AM

comment #6

vault_17 Author Profile Page says ...

So you guys are all for the double standard, eh? Speaks volumes.

@SnarfTheFierce and what do you do, exactly, asshole?

Posted by vault_17 Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 12:45 PM

comment #7

vault_17 Author Profile Page says ...

@BurmaShave I'm not some naive 18 year old off the bus from Oconomowoc, Wisconsin who things the whole world is care bears playing peek-a-boo with puppies in soft focus.

I understand why movers and shakers get away with the crap they do. Monetized talent will always trump any ethical standard a corporation gives bullshit lip service to, as long as the dollars keep rollin' in.

But that doesn't make it right.

I'm appalled by the staggering hypocrisy of a corporation threatening all of its rank-and-file with termination for not upholding one standard, then--in the span of a few days--wheeling around to defend one of its most public faces for breaking that standard.

Whatever. "When you're not cop, you're little people."

Posted by vault_17 Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 12:59 PM

comment #8

matt cousens Author Profile Page says ...

But Vault, shouldn't your anger be focused at Halderman? He's the reason why you're really taking mandatory sexual harassment courses. You needa get laid.

Posted by matt cousens Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 1:28 PM

comment #9

Bob Violence Author Profile Page says ...

God I am so SICK of the anti-Oconomowoc bias on this site

Posted by Bob Violence Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 1:29 PM

comment #10

vault_17 Author Profile Page says ...

@Bob Violence - that was pretty gd hilarious.

Posted by vault_17 Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 1:51 PM

comment #11

LexG Author Profile Page says ...

Letterman rules.

I don't get this smug moral indignation AT ALL.

Isn't it kind of, oh I don't know... THE WHOLE POINT OF GETTING RICH AND FAMOUS, so otherwise awkward guys can get women?

Fuck, if I had a talk show, or if I went back to hosting OPEN MIKE NIGHT at the coffee shop, you best BELIEVE I'd be hitting on every chick within eyeline. Shit, to me the whole reason I'D WANT A TALK SHOW would be to try to bang every chick who'd come on THE LEX SHOW.

That's independent of Letterman's circumstances, as is this: Don't, like, A LOT of people hook up with coworkers? If you have an all-encompassing job, WHERE THE FUCK ELSE are you going to meet people? Who HASN'T dated a coworker or had a fling with one at some point in their life? Why is this such a problem? Like none of you guys ever worked as a grocery bagger or video store clerk and banged a female coworker in the back or hit up a bar after work with same and ended up banging?

And I think a lot of this lame-ass outrage has to do with it being Dave, who's on every night and for some reason you guys think he's all accessible and your TV FRIEND and you're "disappointed." If it was Charlie Sheen, wouldn't you just give him a big thumbs-up and a smirk of approval and be all, "That's how Charlie rolls." Would you be surprised or outraged or CARE AT ALL?

LETTERMAN POWER. BOW.

Posted by LexG Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 2:10 PM

comment #12

GKLondon Author Profile Page says ...

LexG, do they serve beer in hell?

Posted by GKLondon Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 2:37 PM

comment #13

SnarfTheFierce Author Profile Page says ...

@vault_17, I'm a temp, so have at it. My points were that A. if you want a whipping boy for why you're subject to harassment courses, there's far more loathsome candidates than Letterman, and B. oh, no, you had to take some courses. From the sound of it, you hate your job, so quit whining and enjoy the mindless time away from your desk.

Posted by SnarfTheFierce Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 2:41 PM

comment #14

SnarfTheFierce Author Profile Page says ...

@LexG...you wouldn't happen to be an AV Club regular, would you?

Posted by SnarfTheFierce Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 2:52 PM

comment #15

Mighty Kornholio Author Profile Page says ...

It's David Letterman. Of course he can get away with it.

Posted by Mighty Kornholio Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 3:26 PM

comment #16

matt cousens Author Profile Page says ...

Oh wow, Lex is a Tucker Max/Dane Cook hybrid who analyzes men's hair styles, isn't he?

Posted by matt cousens Author Profile Page at October 6, 2009 3:53 PM

comment #17

ketut Author Profile Page says ...

I for one, would love it if Lex had a talk show.

Posted by ketut Author Profile Page at October 7, 2009 5:28 AM

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Natali Watson Author Profile Page says ...

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