comment #1

Mr. F. says ...

Wow -- I feel like I've been magically transported to the year 2000!

Can we please, dear lord, FINALLY stop with the Episode One hate? Not because it's not deserving... but because the corpse has been dead and buried for so very, very long?

comment #2

PastePotPete says ...

The guy's voice in this review is probably the most annoying and off putting I've heard in years.

Mostly because Rosie Perez's career tanked, but still.

comment #3

JohnCope says ...

Funny as hell and pretty perceptive to boot. Thanks for posting this.

comment #4

Ray says ...

Let's bash The Phantom Menace so that we can feel so very much better about Dances-With-Wolves-meets-The-Phantom-Menace, namely Avatar!

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comment #5

DeeZee says ...

U.S.A. Today backed me up about how Avatar has to make at least close to TDK dollars, just to be considered a hit, since $700 million barely covers the expenses.
http://www.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2009-12-18-avatar18_ST_N.htm
Valentine's Day trailer.
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Back-Up Plan trailer.
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'Persia featurettes.
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Latest 'Holmes clip.
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comment #6

DeeZee says ...

Oh, yeah, the American Cinematheque just updated for January. And the New Beverly re-tweeted a 70 minute pan of TPM which slashfilm claims is the best ever.
http://www.slashfilm.com/2009/12/17/watch-this-70-minute-video-review-of-star-wars-the-phantom-menace/

comment #7

DeeZee says ...

Oops, same one, my bad.

comment #8

DeeZee says ...

Cameron finally gets his star. http://cbs2.com/local/titanic.avatar.james.2.1377279.html

comment #9

nodirectionhome says ...

Before Indy got rapped there was a young boy named Aniken Skywalker. Even though this corpse has been rotting for ten years I still cant believe me & few friends bought advance tickets & skipped out of high school early,senior year, to go watch this horrid disgusting filth. When brought up it does bring embarrassing laughter. Ah youth !

comment #10

Chase Kahn says ...

"Avatar" is almost as bad as "Phantom Menace".

comment #11

Pynchon8 says ...

Underlining words helps emphasize my points.

comment #12

Movie fan09 says ...

Did anyone else see the Charlie Rose interview where George essentially said that the only reason he made the prequels was for the financial return?

so, why do we expect greatness?
'cause it's STAR WARS.

comment #13

lazarus says ...

I'd love to see proof of that alleged Charlie Rose comment by Lucas. If all he wanted was money he could have made the prequels ten years earlier.

Nice try, though.

I doubt this guy will do an extensive review for the next two films, which fixed a lot of the issues brought up (e.g. having the climax split into four different plot lines).

comment #14

DeeZee says ...

Oh, yeah. Missed this one. John Waters' favorites of '09, courtesy of the New Bev tweet.
http://bit.ly/5VFNdh
Oh, and this is old, but still great.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oEZVwQptvWw

Edit: Just lol'ed at the part where the narrator says, "They'll get the girl in the end as icing on the cake", in the scene where Willy Wonka hugs Charlie.

comment #15

Geoff says ...

"I doubt this guy will do an extensive review for the next two films, which fixed a lot of the issues brought up (e.g. having the climax split into four different plot lines)."

What? Maybe you should actually watch it. It's not just about "having the climax split into four different plot lines".

Are you defending star wars the phantom menace?

comment #16

Geoff says ...

His annoying voice aside...it's really quite hilarious and smart. George Lucas ripped off a lot of people.

His whole career was just a fluke. It's so damn obvious.

comment #17

jesse says ...

whine whine whine whine... it hurts my feelings that I don't like a movie that I wanted to like... I hate it when a movie doesn't stand up to repeated, whiny, nitpicky analysis... if only they had followed screenwriting manuals... i miss han solo... whine whine whine.

I like the prequels. They're more visually interesting and fun than Jackson's interminable LOTR movies. They aren't as fresh as the original trilogy and they've got some clunky dialogue but on their own terms they work quite well. This actually describes a lot of well-liked sci-fi/fantasy movies. I just came back from Avatar, and it was a lot of fun, but we're not pretending Cameron is some kind of great wit with dialogue, are we? And that's fine. Dialogue is not a big part of sci-fi/fantasy filmmaking. There's shit dialogue in the original Matrix. "Buckle up, Dorothy, 'cause Kansas is going bye-bye" makes me cringe as hard as anything in the prequels, because at least the clunky Star Wars dialogue isn't trying to sound badass.

I dunno, whining about movies in that kind of jaded-disgusted old-nerd way has never been attractive to me, and I'll be an old nerd soon enough. I hated X-Men 3 but I'm not gonna make a fucking internet video droning on about it and cutting together clips of my friends stammering as a means of argument. I mean, the guy is kinda funny but he resorts to a lot of generalities and doesn't really say anything original about it.

comment #18

DeeZee says ...

Geoff: Well, yeah, THX *is* basically 1984 meets Brave New World, but the guy gets brownie points for supporting Kurosawa.

jesse: Yeah, part of why I considered the first Matrix so overrated was the bad acting.

comment #19

Bob Violence says ...

You sure are doing an awful lot of posting for somebody who should be sticking their head in a gas oven right now

comment #20

Gordon27 says ...

"U.S.A. Today backed me up about how Avatar has to make at least close to TDK dollars, just to be considered a hit, since $700 million barely covers the expenses."

That isn't what it says. It says that $750 would be definitely into profit, and doesn't mention 'Dark Knight', because that's only 3/4 what 'Dark Knight' made, not exactly "close". Second off, you said $500 mil is the break-even point, which was actually pretty rational, as opposed to relying on USA Today saying "Some analysts say it needs this much!" without pointing out that those analysts are basing their figure on the most inflated numbers available, essentially saying this is the most it might need.

Plus, the idea that you think this proves that you're right when your claim is that it will gross $130mil worldwide, as the absolute maximum, is absurd. Good luck convincing anybody who's read anything you've said about 'Avatar' about right you were.

comment #21

Markj74 says ...

Ah, George Lucas. The hero of my childhood. You know, I recognise that the prequels were, shall we say, 'underwhelming', but theis Lucas-bashing is getting pretty old.

At the end of the day he made three of the best pictures of the 70s, THX 1138, American Graffiti and Star Wars. For that alone he has a sizable place in movie history. Then he created Indiana Jones, THX, ILM etc. It's true thay he has become trapped by his empire, but it all boils down to the fact that the love of his life divorced him and shacked up with one of his architects. Everything got sucked out of Lucas at that point, Lucas-post divorce is a completely different man. I kind of wish that he had become a recluse after the release of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, if he had he would be regarded as a cinema god at this point.

And i'd much rather sit through the prequels than 90% of the schlock blockbusters we've had these past 10 years. There are some very interesting things going on in them, for those who care to look past some of the problems.

comment #22

DeeZee says ...

Gordon: It says it needs $750 million just to recoup its costs, which means it's still a bomb, even if it rakes in the "official" half a billion. And I said the break-even point was $700 million, since the people involved finally get paid for their work at that point.

mark: My beef w/ George is over Indy 4. The Darabont script would've made it Ford's Rambo IV, and the one Lucas picked turned it into Die Hard IV.
Anyway, if the man retired, I would've preferred it had been after Indy 3, since that was his rebound movie after Howard the Duck. And yeah, shitty script aside, the prequels had some nifty visual and New Age gimmicks which might have re-upped the brand, if done right.

comment #23

Dan Revill says ...

The Phantom Menace has not aged well. I don't even remember the last time I watched a prequel. Possibly been at least three years for the last one...and longer for the first two.
The review is hilarious. He makes valid points, and comes off slightly unhinged. All in all, this is understandable, given how much time he's invested in watching and ripping the movie to shreds.

comment #24

Markj74 says ...

DeeZee: Funnily enough the Darabont script was atrocious, it's a godsend that Spielberg and Lucas passed on it. Thought why they eventually settled on Koepp is another of the great mysteries of the universe that will never be answered.

comment #25

Gordon27 says ...

"And I said the break-even point was $700 million, since the people involved finally get paid for their work at that point. "

Dude, you say so much stupid shit and so many conflicting numbers because you can't construct a real argument. You said half a billion and $700 million within the same breath, as if it's "more or less' the same. You suggest that nobody gets paid for working on 'Avatar' until it makes $700 million, which is mind-bogglingly stupid. You just spout shit and then, when somebody points out your inconsistencies, you pretend you never said it. When 'Avatar's opening weekend is half again as your "absolute ceiling" for what it cane make total, you're going to start bullshitting about how it's still a flop and anyway you didn't say it. Fuck off, dude.

comment #26

HanekeFanBoyNumberOne says ...

markj, they settled on Koepp's script b/c Ford said if they didn't do the movie by 2008 he wasn't going to do it.

comment #27

DeeZee says ...

mark: The Darabont script tapped into the pulp roots of the series. The script we got instead was some shitty pseudo-50s satire with Shia tagging along.

comment #28

Bob Violence says ...

The Darabont script would've made it Ford's Rambo IV

But Crystal Skull was unwatchable bullshit for twelve-year-olds

comment #29

John Cocktosten says ...

This review isa very cogent analysis, and should put to shame all of the professional critics, who should have been as incisive and brutal as soon as they saw the movie.

comment #30

BurmaShave says ...

The RedLetter reviews of the TNG Star Trek movies are amazing. Even if the films are much better than they give them credit for.

comment #31

atish says ...

Dude, you say so much stupid shit and so many conflicting numbers because you can't construct a real argument. You said half a billion and $700 million within the same breath, as if it's "more or less' the same. You suggest that nobody gets paid for working on 'Avatar' until it makes $700 million, which is mind-bogglingly stupid. You just spout shit and then, when somebody points out your inconsistencies, you pretend you never said it. When 'Avatar's opening weekend is half again as your "absolute ceiling" for what it cane make total, you're going to start bullshitting about how it's still a flop and anyway you didn't say it. Fuck off, dude.

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comment #32

atish says ...

DeeZee: Funnily enough the Darabont script was atrocious, it's a godsend that Spielberg and Lucas passed on it. Thought why they eventually settled on Koepp is another of the great mysteries of the universe that will never be answered. best voip services

comment #33

badpete says ...

The RedLetter reviews of the TNG Star Trek movies are amazing. Even if the films are much better than they give them credit for.

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comment #34

pamelazz says ...

Funny as hell and pretty perceptive to boot. Thanks for posting this.Mp3 Download

comment #35

pamelazz says ...

Let's bash The Phantom Menace so that we can feel so very much better about Dances-With-Wolves-meets-The-Phantom-Menace, namely Avatar!driver updater

comment #36

pamelazz says ...

And though I rarely agree with DeeZee, I just love how he drives Gordon absolutely stark-raving barmy. computer telephone

comment #37

badpete says ...

The Phantom Menace has not aged well. I don't even remember the last time I watched a prequel. Possibly been at least three years for the last one...and longer for the first two.

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comment #38

pamelazz says ...

"I doubt this guy will do an extensive review for the next two films, which fixed a lot of the issues brought up (e.g. having the climax split into four different plot lines)."Costa del Sol trip

comment #39

pamelazz says ...

By "surprise guest star", do you mean Robert De Niro? Because I think many people are mistaking Eleas Koteas for De Niro. top voip service

comment #40

pamelazz says ...

The problem with its four-act structure is that after the first act, you know each and every scene and resolution that's going to occur in acts 2-4. EVERYTHING. It all plays out before you just as you would expect, with ample amounts of cheese and syrup soaked-in wherever possible. receive internet fax

comment #41

pamelazz says ...

Yeah! Wait, no, even after pretending to agree with all your other stupid points, this one is too stupid. best voip system

comment #42

pamelazz says ...

This is why I hope Tarantino never wins an oscar. Can you imagine that air raid siren voice + Oscar speech *shivers*voip service

comment #43

darkvince says ...

im a great fan of George Lucas ever since i know him!!!

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comment #44

pamelazz says ...

Holy shit, that's NOT De Niro flashing his Taxi Driver finger-fun-at-head grin at the camera in front of the fireplace with stitches on his face?calling voip

comment #45

pamelazz says ...

I definitely agree. But there are an awful lot of them out there, and the ones we know have definitely risen in prominence within their colleges
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comment #46

doublexjohn says ...

Second off, you said $500 mil is the break-even point, which was actually pretty rational, as opposed to relying on USA Today saying "Some analysts say it needs this much!" without pointing out that those analysts are basing their figure on the most inflated numbers available, essentially saying this is the most it might need.

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comment #47

Snow Shovel says ...

How can you say Avatar is bad? It's at least different.

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comment #48

ativan says ...

Dude, you say so much stupid shit and so many conflicting numbers because you can't construct a real argument. You said half a billion and $700 million within the same breath, as if it's "more or less' the same.
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comment #49

sara says ...

The man aside is just funny
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