Sack of Rocks

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I don't know if Hitfix's Drew McWeeny has reviewed Guy Ritchie's Sherlock Holmes or not, but I do know I can't find his review so let's assume he hasn't posted and that he's either currently writing or has recently written one up, etc.

I'm not trying to be an asshole but I'm wondering what this must feel like, Drew being so invested in Holmes lore and having called himself "Moriarty" while writing for AICN and having taken shots at me for hating the movie unseen and asserting that it's valid for Holmes to be a muscular kick-boxing martial arts stud and so on because it's all this stuff is in the original Arthur Conan Doyle books, etc.

And yet...well, this shouldn't matter to a serious critic like Drew but he must be aware of the swirling grey clouds taking shape overhead. He must be at least sensing what the Movie Godz are saying about this film. Or at least what's being grumbled about in some quarters, which is that Sherlock Holmes is yet another example of ongoing cultural devolution and a corporate-funded desecration of a time-honored literary brand in order to grab 21st Century Eloi dollars.

I'm not judging Drew. I've been in similar pre-emptive situations. I've gotten my hate-on for unseen films only to realize the finished film isn't half bad (i.e., The Lovely Bones). I've fallen in love with this or that script only to feel disappointed after seeing the film. I've been mezzo-mezzo or mostly-but-not-100%-positive about a script only to fall head-over-heels for the film (i.e., Rushmore). Or I've felt enormously hopeful about an English-language remake because I so enjoyed the European- or Asian-made original only to feel crestfallen, etc.

I only know that McWeeney must feel a little twitchy right now, and that I feel his pain. Or the tension in his brain, rather. But he's a good-enough writer to deal with this sort of thing. I guess all I'm really saying is, I'm looking forward to his review.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on December 17, 2009 at 2:03 PM

comment #1

Jonathan Spuij says ...

With Downey getting a GG nod there must be something worthwhile about this film, right?

Posted by Jonathan Spuij at December 17, 2009 2:51 PM

comment #2

dinovelvet says ...

Well it is telling that the actor playing Holmes was nominated in the COMEDY category.

Posted by dinovelvet at December 17, 2009 2:55 PM

comment #3

moviesquad says ...

Yes, I remember how you loved Inglorious Basterds as a script, yet you initially hated the movie even though the movie is so much better than the script suggested it could be and rightfully deserves Best Picture this year given the sorry lot of contenders.

Posted by moviesquad at December 17, 2009 3:00 PM

comment #4

Indeed says ...

Doesnt it have like a 75% rating on RT after twenty some odd reviews?

Posted by Indeed at December 17, 2009 3:02 PM

comment #5

Jeffrey Wells says ...

The easy lays are giving it a pass. The tough hombres are being tough.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at December 17, 2009 3:11 PM

comment #6

Indeed says ...

Never would have considered McCarthy or Denby easy lays. But I guess you learn something new every day, right?

Posted by Indeed at December 17, 2009 3:15 PM

comment #7

zyg says ...

"I'm not trying to be an asshole but..."

i love that

Posted by zyg at December 17, 2009 3:25 PM

comment #8

Jeremy Smith says ...

Sorry, but the tough hombres are too busy fielding indignant emails regarding their mixed reviews for THE JAZZ SINGER '09 to write their SHERLOCK HOLMES reviews. We'll get to it, though. (Spoiler: some of us think it's top-notch escapist fare.)

Posted by Jeremy Smith at December 17, 2009 3:30 PM

comment #9

Markj74 says ...

Guy Ritchie has never put together a coherent movie. He's the UK equivalent of Bay, Abrams and McG rolled into one.

One of the greatest pleasures (and there were many) of Avatar was witnessing a director that knew how to craft, shoot and edit an exciting action sequence back at work. Something that Ritchie just does not know how to do.

Posted by Markj74 at December 17, 2009 4:29 PM

comment #10

Atticus Grinch says ...

"Doesn't it have like a 75% rating on RT after twenty some odd reviews?"

"The easy lays are giving it a pass. The tough hombres are being tough."

And THIS is why I fucking HATE Rotten Tomatoes -- that 75 percent fresh rating is deceptively high. They really need to develop more a weighted scale like Metacritic -- I'm so sick of seeing movies with huge percetage fresh ratings, that hardly anybody loves.

Posted by Atticus Grinch at December 17, 2009 4:38 PM

comment #11

Kristopher Tapley says ...

Who gives a shit about "swirling grey clouds?" Sherlock Holmes made for one of the most enjoyable flicks of the year.

Posted by Kristopher Tapley at December 17, 2009 5:57 PM

comment #12

DeeZee says ...

"Or I've felt enormously hopeful about an English-language remake because I so enjoyed the European- or Asian-made original only to feel crestfallen, etc. "

You're the first guy I've heard who actually anticipates Hollywood remakes of Asian and European films.

Posted by DeeZee at December 17, 2009 5:58 PM

comment #13

Arran says ...

I'm confused, has Wells actually seen the film?

Posted by Arran at December 17, 2009 6:22 PM

comment #14

cust71 says ...

Ahh, I still want to see Jeffrey's version of Death to Smoochy. Never saw the script, but always wanted to see the version in his head. Sounded good. Nay, great!

Posted by cust71 at December 17, 2009 6:27 PM

comment #15

BurmaShave says ...

Hit or miss, I just can't wait for the Holmes promotional stuff to be out of the 7 11. Shit like "It's no mystery our breakfast sandwiches are the best" has been ruining my lunch break for awhile.

Posted by BurmaShave at December 17, 2009 6:47 PM

comment #16

Bob Violence says ...

That Conan Doyle is now considered literary would probably amuse him since that stuff was pitched squarely at the Eloi of the 19th century

Posted by Bob Violence at December 17, 2009 7:59 PM

comment #17

paulavery says ...

No one is going to care and I am not coming back here to read any comments or yawns this post elicits, but I am done here. This was it for me Jeff. I have been reading you for quite a while under various incarnations but this post here has just bothered me and made me angry and I think it is time to part ways. I have not posted very often through the years but read you every single day. And the thing is...I notice lately I get angry at things you write. There seems to be a change in you. You have become more elitist than ever the past few years. All of this Eloi talk. Holy Jesus that gets old. Every day that word is here over and over. You should just count how many times that word is tossed around here. And the thing is...I love movies god dammit. All kinds of movies. Movies that snobs like and popcorn movies too. But I am not going to let you or any of the elite snobs who post here regularly talk me out of enjoying a movie if I want to see it or make me feel stupid or sub normal if I like it. And I am talking here about Sherlock Holmes. Am I supposed to be afraid to post here if I like it? I am sure you would never admit that you liked it even if you did. Because you made up your mind months ago to do nothing but ridicule it and anyone who likes it. I don't want to waste the little bit of internet time I have getting angry and lately I just get angry here.There is no room here for a person like me who has a broad taste in movies. So I will just stop coming here. One last thing.. David Denby is not an easy lay.

Posted by paulavery at December 17, 2009 8:23 PM

comment #18

Jeremy Smith says ...

Burma, I'd argue that those lunch break trips to 7-11 ruined you a long time ago.

Posted by Jeremy Smith at December 17, 2009 9:11 PM

comment #19

DrewAtHitFix says ...

And if I say anything in response, your little bitch Eloi Manning ventriloquist puppet will show up to call me names. Well-played, Jeff.

You don't know anything about Sherlock Holmes, dude. It was pulp fiction when it was published, and no matter how hard you want to pretend otherwise, your knowledge of what is or isn't canon has been demonstratably wrong from day one on this.

My review will be up tomorrow. I look forward to you telling me what I'm REALLY saying afterwards.

Posted by DrewAtHitFix at December 17, 2009 10:02 PM

comment #20

DrewAtHitFix says ...

I love the pre-emptive determination that once again, anyone who disagrees with Jeff is an "easy lay" or "on the take" or whatever.

Jeff, what did I do to you? Seriously. You have gone after me again and again this year, and I defy you to show me one place I've done the same to you. Do you even realize how many times this year you've essentially called me a liar over my opinion?

Posted by DrewAtHitFix at December 17, 2009 10:06 PM

comment #21

Rothchild says ...

You can't really blame Jeff. His access to the "movie gods" is via a retarded priest. It's like playing a game of telephone. He gets most of his info wrong.

Posted by Rothchild at December 17, 2009 10:18 PM

comment #22

Eloi Manning says ...

"And if I say anything in response, your little bitch Eloi Manning ventriloquist puppet will show up to call me names. Well-played, Jeff."

Hello!

To be fair, you are the thinnest skinned, most hypocritical douchebag on the internets so it's not surprising people call you names. I thought you were seeking help for your anger management issues?

Posted by Eloi Manning at December 17, 2009 11:21 PM

comment #23

DeeZee says ...

Drew: Well, yeah, and Shakespeare was considered low-brow in his day, too. That doesn't mean that there wasn't at least a sense of structure and characterization to both his and Doyle's work which was clearly negated in that monstrosity with Paltrow and Affleck and in this Ritchie film, as well.

Posted by DeeZee at December 18, 2009 1:35 AM

comment #24

Live for Films says ...

Can't we all just get along?

Some of us like a film for one reason others don't like it for another.

Plus, when all is said and done, it is just a film.

As someone once said he said but probably didn't "Elementary my dear Watson"

Posted by Live for Films at December 18, 2009 1:45 AM

comment #25

Gordon27 says ...

Hey, I hate 'Shakespeare in Love' as much as anybody, but I don't think you can criticize in on a structural lev-- oh, wait, it's DZ, never mind.

Posted by Gordon27 at December 18, 2009 2:07 AM

comment #26

Jeffrey Wells says ...

Wells to Drew: I have never even obliquely hinted you're a liar or that your views are or have been in any way compromised by any considerations other than your own straight-from-the=gut, refined-by-the-brain process. All I've said in this instance is that you've shown have an obvious investment in the Sherlock Holmes legend and that I see you as being in the tank for this film before sitting down to watch it, and that I've been in the tank or outside the tank with certain projects/finished films before and I know what that's like and that I'm sensing the tension you must be feeling because I've been there and YET I know you'll handle it because you happen to be a very good writer and therefore I'm looking forward to your review....that's all. This is theatre, bro. It's about what we know and feel and respect and believe, of course, but all movie sites are a form of theatrical verve and display. We're putting on a show for each other, except the content of the show isn't fluff -- it's our own real-deal shit. But it's certainly not personal so...like, you know, it's all cool.

Wells to Paul Avery: So live and let live, see shit-level popcorn flicks at the plex and hug your kids while doing so, and say nothing as we all witness various traditions and standards and pillars of commendable culture being devalued, under-nourished, taken apart and degraded by soulless, corporate-funded money-seeking machines like Warner Bros...that's all fine, no problem, pass the popcorn. Right? And I'm an asshole for not shrugging my shoulders and giving you and your kind a hug and saying "wow, we sure love movies...woo-hoo!" in response to this? I am swelling with pride that I have managed to alienate you. Tears are running down my cheeks as I write this. Good hunting and God bless.

Posted by Jeffrey Wells at December 18, 2009 5:02 AM

comment #27

TulseLuper says ...

All I know is that Mark Kermode, my favorite film critic over in the UK, just gave it a good review. This is coming from somebody who has despised every Guy Ritchie film to date, including Lock Stock & Two Smoking Barrels. To me, that's as good a sign as I'm likely to get.

Posted by TulseLuper at December 18, 2009 7:35 AM

comment #28

DrewAtHitFix says ...

Here you go, Jeff...

http://tinyurl.com/ydo3qjs

... I look forward to you telling me how much I don't mean what I wrote.

Posted by DrewAtHitFix at December 18, 2009 4:21 PM

comment #29

DrewAtHitFix says ...

Well, guess you'll have to wait a little longer. There was a dispute about the embargo dates, and we're erring on the side of the studio on this one. I'm sure you'll tell me why I'm wrong soon enough.

Posted by DrewAtHitFix at December 18, 2009 7:27 PM

comment #30

Jude-the-Obtuse says ...

Wells: re your response to Avery, thats some pretty nasty, and undeserved shit you spewed there.

Theres a wealth of difference between being a contrarian and being a sneering dick.

Wtf happened to you Wells?

My last visit here too I think. Life is too fucking short.

Posted by Jude-the-Obtuse at December 19, 2009 11:50 AM

comment #31

atish says ...

Never would have considered McCarthy or Denby easy lays. But I guess you learn something new every day, right?

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Posted by atish at January 3, 2010 9:01 AM

comment #32

badpete says ...

I love the pre-emptive determination that once again, anyone who disagrees with Jeff is an "easy lay" or "on the take" or whatever.

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Posted by badpete at January 4, 2010 4:31 AM

comment #33

atish says ...

Never would have considered McCarthy or Denby easy lays. But I guess you learn something new every day, right?
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comment #34

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comment #35

andri2121 says ...

yes..McWeeney must feel a little twitchy right now :)

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comment #36

badpete says ...

That Conan Doyle is now considered literary would probably amuse him since that stuff was pitched squarely at the Eloi of the 19th century

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comment #37

atish says ...

Well it is telling that the actor playing Holmes was nominated in the COMEDY category.
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comment #38

atish says ...

"The easy lays are giving it a pass. The tough hombres are being tough."
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comment #39

atish says ...

Posted by atish at January 13, 2010 3:41 AM

comment #40

badpete says ...

I love the pre-emptive determination that once again, anyone who disagrees with Jeff is an "easy lay" or "on the take" or whatever.

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Posted by badpete at January 16, 2010 9:45 PM

comment #41

Sayuri says ...

I agree with you Jeffrey..
to giving a pass.

Posted by Sayuri at January 22, 2010 11:52 PM

comment #42

doublexjohn says ...

Never would have considered McCarthy or Denby easy lays. But I guess you learn something new every day, right?

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comment #43

atish says ...

My feeling on the matter is - and I know this is an anathema to "liberals" of a certain age - Howard Zinn was ultimately WRONG about "the Great Man" theory of history being a myth; i.e. that "ordinary folk" and "mass movements" were the real driving force of humanity and "great men of history" just took credit for it later. voip internet phone service

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comment #44

badpete says ...

I love the pre-emptive determination that once again, anyone who disagrees with Jeff is an "easy lay" or "on the take" or whatever.

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comment #46

pamelazz says ...

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comment #47

badpete says ...

Hey, I hate 'Shakespeare in Love' as much as anybody, but I don't think you can criticize in on a structural lev-- oh, wait, it's DZ, never mind.

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pamelazz says ...

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comment #51

doublexjohn says ...

McWeeny was the subject of controversy in 1999 when a screenplay he had co-written was favorably reviewed by Harry Knowles on the website "Ain't It Cool News"

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comment #52