Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
Charlie St. Cloud
The Concert
The Dry Land
The Extra Man
Helen
Hugh Hefner: Playboy, Activist and Rebel
What's the Matter with Kansas?
Who Killed Nancy
HE reader DeafBrownTrashPunk was initially surprised to find The Real Cancun included among Salon's Films of the Decade series, but it made sense to her after considering Michael Tully's explanation, to wit: Cancun isn't a great film but a "disturbingly relevant historical document" about the eventual fall of Western Civilization due...well, due to many things but at least partly to the pathetic nowhereness of 2003's wanker-class college youth. The film shows us scores of George Bushes-to-be having the time of their lives, and we all know where that leads.
"I remember how, as a young Muslim college student struggling to fit in after 9-11, I was shocked and appalled by how the U.S media was always focused on stupid reality shows and celebrities like Paris Hilton while ignoring the freshly declared war in Iraq and Afghanistan," she writes. "It seemed like, at the time, at my school, nobody cared, except for olds hippies and Vietnam vets who were against the war and constantly spoke out."
She asked for my reaction, and I wrote back that Tully "is essentially observing the same thing about the mindless party-class Eloi of six and a half years ago in The Real Cancun that I've been talking about every other day on the site. These people are truly a cancer eating away at the remnants of culture in the 21st Century. Samuel Johnson, Victor Hugo and Baba Ram Dass would get hold of firearms and shoot them. In a forward-thinking world they would be rounded up along with the Tea Baggers and incarcerated in government-funded green re-education camps. I'm perfectly serious -- they need to be compassionately re-nurtured and re-educated in order to have various corporate poisons removed from their souls. Is that such a terrible idea? I'm not Mao Zedong advocating firing squads."
Posted by Jeffrey Wells on December 18, 2009 at 6:39 AM
comment #1
Michael
says ...
In a forward-thinking world they would be rounded up along with the Tea Baggers and incarcerated in government-funded green re-education camps.
I initially had a different response when I began to write this post, but it was lost in a minor stroke I suffered while trying to wrap my brain around this sentence. Man this site is awesome.
Posted by Michael
at December 18, 2009 7:22 AM
comment #2
Bilge
says ...
Except that the government-funded green re-education camps would simply confirm the Tea Baggers' worst fears, thus making the nonsense they're blabbing suddenly true. Ow, my head hurts...
Posted by Bilge
at December 18, 2009 7:26 AM
comment #3
Jeffrey Wells
says ...
Fuck 'em...round 'em up anyway. We'd be doing the Tea Baggers a favor in terms of extending their lives by re-educating them to the benefits of a healthy diet and regular exercise, which, to judge by photos of Tea Bagger demonstrators, they've never considered and would never consider on their own. One look at these people and you just know they're eating Jumbo Fritos and Pepsi and micro-waved french fries for breakfast.
Posted by Jeffrey Wells
at December 18, 2009 7:36 AM
comment #4
PopcornEyeglass
says ...
Yeah the Eloi are apathetic/dumb/a cancer, whatever. You could put Girls Gone Wild on the Best Films of the Decade list and make the same point.
Posted by PopcornEyeglass
at December 18, 2009 7:58 AM
comment #5
TL
says ...
"you just know they're eating Jumbo Fritos and Pepsi and micro-waved french fries for breakfast"
Jeff, every once and awhile, your fascistic tendencies are made up for by a word picture like this.
Posted by TL
at December 18, 2009 8:03 AM
comment #6
George Prager
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Baba Ram Dass? He's partially responsible.
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at December 18, 2009 8:15 AM
comment #7
Glenn Kenny
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Samuel Johnson? Maybe, maybe not. "Vice does not hurt a man's character so as to obstruct his prosperity in life...if a young man is wild, and must run after women and bad company, it is better this should be done abroad, as, on his return, he can break off such connections, and begin at home a new man."
Posted by Glenn Kenny
at December 18, 2009 8:24 AM
comment #8
TheGK
says ...
Y'know, I still can't tell what the Tea Baggers are about. On the face of it, they seem to want the right to be assholes and behave badly e.g. eat shitty food and drive cars/tanks which get 10 miles to the gallon, all with an assault rifle strapped to their backs. And they don't want to pay any taxes so they can indulge this behaviour, but want creationism in schools.
How the fuck did this become a political movement? These people melt my brain.
Maybe rounding them up into 'help camps' is a bit too far, but some basic education is sorely missing here.
Posted by TheGK
at December 18, 2009 8:26 AM
comment #9
corey3rd
says ...
the Real Cancun represents a pack of marketing geniuses going completely wrong when they thought they could make a film with complete unknowns, that doesn't feature a plot and with almost zero time between the last day of shooting and the premiere. It was nothing more than a lame MTV special.
They opened this POS on 2,261 screens and it died so hard that it killed another quickie spring break video/film.
Far as the Idiocracy of America's youth - just watch Jersey Shore.
Posted by corey3rd
at December 18, 2009 8:34 AM
comment #10
allstar397
says ...
so according to Jeff, there are no fat liberals, and in addition we should create a one party (his of course) system and put everybody else into re-education camps.
Also I love how you forget how many of the "eloi" are actually on your side of the political spectrum, the "idiot youth" are the ones that made your hero the president into a veritable pop star.
Posted by allstar397
at December 18, 2009 9:32 AM
comment #11
THE MovieBob
says ...
With respect to both you and Deaf's points... I wouldn't worry TOO much just based on stuff like this. Reality TV and Youtube have served to make the STAGGERING overall banality and lack of worth among what appears to be the majority of the human species more VISIBLE, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's a new or even worsening phenomenon It's like when people claim that statistic that there are more unhappily-married people NOW than pre-1950 because divorce rates are higher - that's unprovable, the only thing that's changed is that it's less taboo to END unhappy marriages than it was before.
My feeling on the matter is - and I know this is an anathema to "liberals" of a certain age - Howard Zinn was ultimately WRONG about "the Great Man" theory of history being a myth; i.e. that "ordinary folk" and "mass movements" were the real driving force of humanity and "great men of history" just took credit for it later.
It's a nice thought, but looking around at the world NOW or even a cursory glance at history devoid of left OR right bias doesn't support it: Humans aren't herd animals, we're PACK animals, and thus for most of our history the vast majority of the "average, ordinary" (and below) people have been lumps or at best along for the ride while a minority of the bravest, most visionary and - in the best cases - MOST INTELLIGENT among us have dragged the rest of the species across the goal-lines of evolution, for better or worse.
Just because you can SEE it more now doesn't mean it's new or necessarily expanding. The majority of "everyday" Western Civilization was having poop-fights while Gutenberg was perfecting his press - and while the idiots in "Real Cancun" were cavorting for the camera, there's a one-in-a-billion kid who's toiling away on whatever replaces Internet 2.0 who'll ultimately have the real lasting impact. Such as it is, such as it's always been.
Posted by THE MovieBob
at December 18, 2009 9:36 AM
comment #12
Travis Crabtree
says ...
I don't get the Tea Party connection to a bunch of brain-dead spring break revelers.
Say what you will about them, disagree with them, make fun of them for not wearing designer clothes, laugh at them, but at least they're politically engaged.
The Cancun morons couldn't tell you the last name of the Vice-President (be it Cheney then or Biden now) if you held a gun to their head. Then they'd pour beer on you and make fun of you for being a nerd because you're talking about "news shit".
Posted by Travis Crabtree
at December 18, 2009 9:48 AM
comment #13
62Lincoln
says ...
DeafBrown, get off your ass and out of your home and go live your life. Or, you can sit there and allow the "media" to define life for you. The real world is much more complicated and nuanced than the abysmally wide brush strokes the "media" is happy to spoon feed you.
Posted by 62Lincoln
at December 18, 2009 9:51 AM
comment #14
DeeZee
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corey: Seriously. If it wasn't for all that LOTR money, 'Cancun would've probably sunk New Line sooner.
Posted by DeeZee
at December 18, 2009 9:54 AM
comment #15
Gogocrank
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The Tea Baggers are politically engaged but utterly ill-informed. It's a contradiction akin to the rise of Whole Foods - a holistic/organic/green-minded company aimed at affluent, elite liberals but run by a member of the loony libertarian right. The entitled children of Whole Foods regulars inevitably end up in "The Real Cancun," too, partying with the children of Tea Baggers.
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at December 18, 2009 9:55 AM
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at December 18, 2009 10:10 AM
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George Prager
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DeafBrowntrashPunk is living the life. Apparently she owns a lot of non-fiction books on the subject.
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at December 18, 2009 10:28 AM
comment #18
LexG
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I'm sure no one cares, but as a footnote, one of the hard partying hot chicks from REAL CANCUN actually, somehow managed to parlay it into a legit acting career -- Laura Ramsey, who's been on MAD MEN, as well as STARRING ROLES in studio movies like "Venom" and "The Ruins," and small parts in "Lords of Dogtown" and about a dozen other movies.
The wall is coming down in terms of crossing over -- Jamie Chung from "Real World San Diego" is in major studio releases (she STARRED in "Dragonball"), half the American Idol people become zillionaires and/or actors, Audrina is in real movies...
So at this point, WHY NOT go on Survivor 21 and act like a jackass? It's better than sitting in an office like a chump all day, every day. Even the lamest members of the cast on Real World or The Bachelor or Big Brother NEVER have to go back to their day job, and get to drift around LA clubbing and partying while doing the "lecture circuit" to discuss their time on the show. The Real World casts have made an entire cottage industry out of being on TV for DECADES thanks to those Real World/Road Rules challenges that treat "Ace from Real World" like he's some kind of fucking STAR we all can't wait to see again.
I used to scoff at all the wannabes who'd go on TOOL ACADEMY thinking it's a ticket to an "acting career," as if Soderbergh's watching VH1 reality to cast his next flick... but the gap is closing and these people ARE becoming celebrities in their own right.
And who wouldn't want to be a celebrity?
Posted by LexG
at December 18, 2009 11:10 AM
comment #19
rayciscon
says ...
Jeff, would you call rounding up citizens who are doing nothing more than practicing their Constitutional Right to free speech and shipping them off to re-education camps an example of "Blue-State Sensibilities"?
Can you do a quick mental exercise for me?
Take the essence of what you said, "this group of law-abiding citizens should be rounded up and put into re-education camps." Now imagine someone, anyone on the political right saying this?
What would you're reaction be if George W. Bush said this? How about Dick Cheney? What about Rush Limbaugh? Donald Rumsfeld? Glenn Beck? Michael Medved? John Nolte? Name anyone on the right and tell me how you'd feel?
My guess is you'd be livid about it...
What gives YOU the right to say something like this and think it's OK?
It's madness... sheer madness.
What happened to civility? The "tea-baggers" aren't the ones assaulting people, it's union members that are the thugs here. You don't agree with them, so they MUST BE RE-EDUCATED!
We need calmness and civility. Please.
Posted by rayciscon
at December 18, 2009 11:37 AM
comment #20
DeeZee
says ...
Lex: Jamie Chung ain't gonna be worth shit, because she's a token Asian actress who knows about acting as much as Alba, which is why her tv show got canned after only six episodes. As for Ramsey, she probably got the Madmen gig, because AMC doesn't have the budget to hire someone more up-and-coming for a bit part like HBO would. I know how you feel about these nobodies getting way more exposure than they deserve, but they're also more likely to be as washed-up as most 70s and 80s former child stars.
Posted by DeeZee
at December 18, 2009 12:35 PM
comment #21
George Prager
says ...
Let's hope so, or DeeZee will feel betrayed like a Jewish person learning that Nazis had escaped from Germany and were living happily in Argentina.
Posted by George Prager
at December 18, 2009 2:36 PM
comment #22
DeafBrownTrashPunk
says ...
LexG, my friends had tried to convince me to try out for the reality show, WHO WANTS TO BE A SUPERHERO for the 3rd season, but sadly Sci-Fi (as it was called back then.. before the name change to "Sy Fy") cancelled the show after the 2nd season. I think this was like 3 or 4 years ago.
anyway, I remember when in the early 2000s, reality TV became the rage, a lot of people decried the trend, claiming that human beings were exploited for people's entertainment. today we can all agree that reality TV is just as average as scripted dramas and soaps. It's here to stay and it's not going anywhere. Nowadays it's totally possible to make a liveable career out of being on reality TV.
Posted by DeafBrownTrashPunk
at December 18, 2009 6:29 PM
comment #23
DeafBrownTrashPunk
says ...
George Prager, why so cynical?
Posted by DeafBrownTrashPunk
at December 18, 2009 6:30 PM
comment #24
corey3rd
says ...
think about how Dr. Joyce Brothers turned her gameshow run on the $64,000 question into a career. A few people have enough minor talent to grab small roles after playing themselves.
a few years ago, a pal pointed out that there were more people in the last decade that were given "star billing" on reality shows versus actors who had received title billing in the history of television. These people are the most disposable of commodities in TV.
Remember when Emeril had his own sitcom?
most reality tv turned into semi-scripted soap operas or sitcoms simply because the average person's daily life is mundane to the outside world. E! learned this fact when they realized if they didn't come up with ideas, Anna Nicole Smith was going to sit on her sofa and eat Cheetos all day. So they Lucy-ed her up - made her get a driver's license and such. Nobody in production just wants to shoot and hope something comes out in editing.
Posted by corey3rd
at December 18, 2009 8:12 PM
comment #25
Bob Violence
says ...
Teabaggers should be executed on sight and the Constitution is a document for dead white men
I mean this is Civics 101 stuff, really
Posted by Bob Violence
at December 19, 2009 12:49 AM
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hiviper
says ...
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Posted by hiviper
at December 19, 2009 2:58 AM
comment #27
atish
says ...
Samuel Johnson? Maybe, maybe not. "Vice does not hurt a man's character so as to obstruct his prosperity in life...if a young man is wild, and must run after women and bad company, it is better this should be done abroad, as, on his return, he can break off such connections, and begin at home a new man."
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at January 6, 2010 3:44 AM
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badpete
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at January 8, 2010 5:09 AM
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atish
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Yeah the Eloi are apathetic/dumb/a cancer, whatever. You could put Girls Gone Wild on the Best Films of the Decade list and make the same point.
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at January 8, 2010 7:31 AM
comment #32
atish
says ...
My feeling on the matter is - and I know this is an anathema to "liberals" of a certain age - Howard Zinn was ultimately WRONG about "the Great Man" theory of history being a myth; i.e. that "ordinary folk" and "mass movements" were the real driving force of humanity and "great men of history" just took credit for it later.
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atish
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Maybe rounding them up into 'help camps' is a bit too far, but some basic education is sorely missing here.
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badpete
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pamelazz
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The movie tie-in game came out several years before the movie as the movie got mired in development hell, and they released the game because it was a FPS on a handheld, which at the time was a pretty neat little trick. The movie turned out to be unsalvageable, and so they let it out to die.
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