Gloob-Gloob

An initially inaccurate Dark Horizons story about the 3.19 release date of Floria Sigismondi‘s The Runaways being bumped back to April 9th led to The Playlist and then this site following suit. The story was wrongThe Runaways is opening on 1400 screens on 3.19 (according to a just-received Falco Ink press release) and then expanding on 4.9.

Apologies for not taking the time to call. The fact that I was in a heebie-jeebie state in a North Bergen cafe following my tire-change episode is no excuse. I’m ready to throw up.

I still say Apparition needs to fix that cherry-bomb teaser poster. The dripping redness is plenty suggestive, but there are indistinct shapes and shadows in the black background that you can’t make out. Bothersome.

The Playlist described the film as “critically shrugged.” That makes it sound like almost everyone at Sundance 2010 put it down. I don’t recall that. I’d call it “somewhat review-challenged.”

I wrote during the festival that “as long as the film is focused on Kristen Stewart‘s Joan Jett and Michael Shannon‘s Kim Fowley and the generally pungent ’70s atmosphere, it radiates badass attitude and seems authentically plugged in to the spirit of ’70s rebel rock.

“Unfortunately, Sigismondi’s script is primarily based on Cheri Currie‘s autobiography, Neon Angel: The Cherie Currie Story, which tells of her background plus her drug and alcohol problem that arose from her success with the Runaways.

“This means that in too many portions we’re stuck watching Curie’s fairly boring story, since no rock-industry cliche is more mind-numbing than the one about a famous rock star burning out on drugs. Which also means we’re stuck with Dakota Fanning , who gives an opaque, space-case performance as Curie — blankness personified.”

25 thoughts on “Gloob-Gloob

  1. It would appear that those “indistinct shapes and shadows” bothering you are meant to simulate the markings that turn up on old album covers or inner sleeves. Note the half-circle around the cherry on the left hand side.

    Of course the effect would be more obvious, and convincing, if the poster were more or less square rather than rectangular….

  2. Just because he’s kind of an Inland Empire guy and he produced “Alley Oop” and “Popsicles and Icicles” and did lots of other things, much of which was terrible and disgusting, some of which was amazing and notable, the notorious/legendary dude’s name is KIM FOWLEY. [Wells to Gaydos -- thanks, FIXED.]

  3. Moving an indie from a slow month to a slower one wouldn’t seem to spell disaster. Maybe the change will do it boxoffice good, like SHUTTER IS:LAND.

  4. The background is a record sleeve, but you can’t tell because the image you’ve used is cropped. Bothersome.

  5. I did, and I could barely get through it. I doubt pulses are racing over this one…maybe it should have been in 3D, as an homage to Currie’s starring role in PARASITE…but I kind of liked WHAT WE DO IS SECRET, in a slow-afternoon, I’m-paying-for-this-cable-and-better-watch-it kind of way.

  6. “I doubt pulses are racing over this…”

    BLASPHEMY. This is one of my THREE most anticipated movies of the rest of ’10, and the other two are as follows:

    1) ECLIPSE.

    2) WELCOME TO THE RILEYS.

    Hmm, see if you can guess, Robert Cashill, what the common denominator there is, for both me and THE REST OF THE WORLD.

    Oh, yeah, it’s K-Stew, aka the MOST BEAUTIFUL, sexiest, rawest, most awesome, intense, emotional, mesmerizing, hypnotic, awe-inspiring, charismatic performer EVER TO GRACE the silver screen. Bogart? Hack. Monroe? Fat. Hepburn? Annoying.

    In terms of sheer raw animal intensity, there is K-Stew, then there is Brando, 1973 Pacino, and James Dean. IN THAT ORDER. If you’re not stoked for THE RUNAWAYS, you are THAT guy in 1955 who’s all, “Rebel Without a Cause? I doubt pulses are racing over this one.”

    Give me a break. Kristen is the FUTURE OF ACTING, and when you throw in a potential-case like THE FANNING, there will be hosannahs throughout the land as the world’s TWO MOST WINNING PERFORMERS deign to entertaining you.

    If you’re telling me you don’t love Kristen Stewart, you basically just told a 400-lb Kentucky ex-Marine at an apple pie eating contest that you don’t believe in Jesus, you Communist heathen.

    There is KRISTEN and then there is THE REST OF THE WORLD who should be bowing in awed genuflection. Most watchable actress EVER, she’ll probably win Best Actress for this, and I am going to see it SEVENTEEN TIMES in its first week of release.

    Box office prediction: 400 million dollars.

    BOW. K-STEW 4 LIFE.

  7. I knew they couldn’t open the thing wide without better marketing. Again, the target audience for the movie doesn’t know shit about the band. The real problem film, though, appears to be the Straw Dogs remake.

    http://www.darkhorizons.com/news/16494/release-changes-march-2nd-2010

    Jeff: The real problem with the teaser poster is that it does not have female appeal, which is what the film really needs to sell better.

    Lex: See, if you were to trash someone like Dean Martin, I’d be ok with that. But Bogart was the man, back when actors were about screen presence, and not about dressing like Hot Topic and UFC rejects.

  8. LexG? Annoying, fat hack. Seriously, the next person to compare Stewart to MARLON BRANDO deserves a kick to the balls, a shank to the funnybone, or a pinch to the neck like Mr. Spock.

    Seriously, the over-hype on K-Stew is reaching inexplicable levels.

  9. Kaned, what the HELL? I thought you were a good pal… What’s with that unpleasant shot at my weight? What the FUCK, dude?

    You’re on notice. Some friend. What a jerk.

  10. Oh, I was just kidding, man. Sorry. But seriously — Bogart a hack? And Monroe is a fucking idol (ditto Hepburn, albeit to a lesser degree) and has real presence onscreen.

    You can like Stewart all you want, hell even call her a “great” actress, but dissing Golden Age legends to build her up? What on earth is that about?

  11. Wow. Wells calls Fanning “blankness personified”. How amazingly bland must she be in this to make Kirsten Stewart seem lively by comparison.

    Eff it. I agree w/ Milkman, watch Ladies & Gentlemen The Fabulous Stains (& maybe Foxes) instead.

    “Be a Professional Today…”

    LANE POWER!!!!! CURRIE POWDER!!!!!

  12. “I still say Apparition needs to fix that cherry-bomb teaser poster.”

    How ’bout axing it completely and making it more chick-friendly, since that’s Apparition’s target audience?

    Glen: That’s nice, but not exactly compelling to people who listen to music on Youtube and iPod. Seriously, this is the kind of blunder you’d expect from suits who think there’s enough of an audience for both the band and K-Stew for the thing to be big. Except the band was never that big, and it’s hard to bring over that Twilight audience to an edgy R-rated film.

  13. They need a new poster with K-Stew and Fanning YEP YEP.

    Like the chocolate and vanilla Oreos, they complement each other PERFECTLY.

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