Roll With That

I want to put this carefully so as not to sound cruel or harsh. If Larry Cohen's The Winged Serpent (a.k.a., "Q" or Quetzacoatl) was to corner Russell Brand at the very top of the Chrysler building and peck him to death (and then tear strands of meat from his lifeless body and gulp them down voraciously), I would not cheer. Nor would I stand by idly if I saw this happening -- I would do what I could to save Brand. But if I couldn't save him I would not be incapacitated by grief. I'd move on with my life.

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Posted by Jeffrey Wells on April 6, 2010 at 1:24 PM

comment #1

markj Author Profile Page says ...

Amen.

Posted by markj Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 1:42 PM

comment #2

televisiontears Author Profile Page says ...

And this is why I read Hollywood Elsewhere every day. Hilarious and awesome, Jeff.

Posted by televisiontears Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 2:07 PM

comment #3

actionman Author Profile Page says ...

i don't get all the hate projected towards brand on HE

he's a funny dude.

Posted by actionman Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 2:16 PM

comment #4

Eloi Manning Author Profile Page says ...

actionman: Agreed. If he starred in some low-rent "LQTM" mumblecore indie comedy he'd probably be hailed as a genius. Because he's in Eloi fodder, he's reviled on HE. But he's cleverer and funnier than Jeff thinks.

Posted by Eloi Manning Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 2:20 PM

comment #5

Krillian Author Profile Page says ...

How would you move on with your life knowing that Q is still out there?

Posted by Krillian Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 2:20 PM

comment #6

dinovelvet Author Profile Page says ...

I agree, the guy is just annoying and unfunny, with a pathetic and carefully styled designer "scruffy" look. C'mon America, we've got plenty of homegrown douchebags, we don't need to import them.

Posted by dinovelvet Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 2:55 PM

comment #7

televisiontears Author Profile Page says ...

Don't get me wrong. Brand's alright in my book, but this post cracked me up.

Posted by televisiontears Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 2:55 PM

comment #8

BurmaShave Author Profile Page says ...

Mercy, this is just what i needed.

Posted by BurmaShave Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 3:15 PM

comment #9

BurmaShave Author Profile Page says ...

Also Michael Moriarty is crazy enough now that this post might give him ideas.

Posted by BurmaShave Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 3:16 PM

comment #10

Yuval Author Profile Page says ...

Brand is funny, but most importantly, he loved Greenberg.

Posted by Yuval Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 3:36 PM

comment #11

Tristan Eldritch2 Author Profile Page says ...

I haven't got anything against Brand - but taking him down via an invocation of Larry Cohen's immortal "Q" is a genius stroke of lateral thinking.

Posted by Tristan Eldritch2 Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 4:05 PM

comment #12

Deathtongue_Groupie Author Profile Page says ...

Sorry, but Brand is great. That loopy, undersold delivery cracks me up every time he showed up in SARAH MARSHALL.

Posted by Deathtongue_Groupie Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 4:20 PM

comment #13

lipranzer Author Profile Page says ...

When my brother and I watched that Monty Python documentary that aired on IFC Channel several months back, we both cringed every time Brand appeared on screen. And I loathed him in FORGETTING SARAH MARSHALL. Nothing to do with how he looks, I just find him painfully unfunny.

Posted by lipranzer Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 4:42 PM

comment #14

arnold stang Author Profile Page says ...

Rather see him done in by THE STUFF

Loved Brand when he's been on the Howard Stern Show a couple times. Heard he's an extremely nice human being.

Read the new ARTHUR script he'll be doing. It's filled with many of the one liners from Steve Gordon's gem - and they're still funny - but I can't get Dudley Moore's pitch perfect delivery out of my head

Posted by arnold stang Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 4:44 PM

comment #15

corey3rd Author Profile Page says ...

Brand's hair would choke the monster to death

Posted by corey3rd Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 7:54 PM

comment #16

MilkMan Author Profile Page says ...

Any man who porks Katy Perry on a nightly basis is okay in my book.

Posted by MilkMan Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 8:27 PM

comment #17

Terry McCarty Author Profile Page says ...

Re the Arnold Stang post on ARTHUR:
Are they leaving out the drunkenness for PC and/or Alan Horn-pleasing reasons?

Posted by Terry McCarty Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 10:28 PM

comment #18

Wiggumx Author Profile Page says ...

Loved Kristen Bell making fun of how he talks in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. I liked that movie much more than I should have.

Posted by Wiggumx Author Profile Page at April 6, 2010 10:39 PM

comment #19

Gaydos Author Profile Page says ...

Saw his one man show at the Montreal "Just for Laughs" comedy fest a couple of years ago and he killed. Beneath that carefully crafted pose there's a dangerously clever brain.

How will this get translated into American comedy hits? We'll see. Even if it works commercially there's no guarantee it will fully capture this guy's twisted wit and intellectual bravado.

Remember Richard Pryor? But I digress...

Will Brand need a "Borat"-like sleight of hand comedic trick to fully impact? Even Gervais hasn't pulled that off.

That said, Gervais, Baron Cohen, Simon Pegg, Little Britain,, et al have all served up some substantial larfs and to my eye, Brand looks kitted up to join them.

I couldn't fit League of Gentlemen into this post but I should have.

Posted by Gaydos Author Profile Page at April 7, 2010 1:32 AM

comment #20

George Prager Author Profile Page says ...

I can picture the AP story:

British actor and comedian Russell Brand dies at 34

New York (AP) - Controversial actor and comedian Russell Brand died today after being devoured by a Quetzacoatl while visiting the observation deck of the Chrysler building...

Posted by George Prager Author Profile Page at April 7, 2010 8:16 AM

comment #21

Travis Crabtree Author Profile Page says ...

"How would you move on with your life knowing that Q is still out there?"


Yes! Comment of the week. Congrats, Killian!

Posted by Travis Crabtree Author Profile Page at April 7, 2010 8:40 AM

comment #22

nemo Author Profile Page says ...

If Q The Winged Serpent cornered Russell Brand at the top of the Chrysler Building and gave him a proper bath, shave, and a haircut, the whole world would cheer.

Posted by nemo Author Profile Page at April 7, 2010 10:03 AM

comment #23

moviemaniac2002 Author Profile Page says ...

Better to track down where he sleeps and release several of the "It's Alive" babies under the bedsheets.

Posted by moviemaniac2002 Author Profile Page at April 7, 2010 2:34 PM

comment #24

arnold stang Author Profile Page says ...

Terry,

Drunk stuff still in it

Posted by arnold stang Author Profile Page at April 8, 2010 8:44 AM

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