Enzyme Blockage

Some younger actors just can’t find their way into the zen of talk-show banter. They try to go with it, but they can’t find the groove. All I know is that every time Kristen Stewart goes on Late Night with David Letterman, something goes wrong. And what’s with that wolf-dog and those yellow eyes?

160 thoughts on “Enzyme Blockage

  1. Holy Spokes on said:

    You’ve grievously overestimated her appeal. She is a scumbag.

  2. Jeff, she might not have enough intellectual horsepower to pull off an actual conversation, unless it’s scripted and she’s had plenty of time to memorize her lines.

  3. Jeff, she might not have enough intellectual horsepower to pull off an actual conversation, unless it’s scripted and she’s had plenty of time to memorize her lines.

  4. Gillian Anderson suffered similar talk show mishaps during the heyday of The X-Files, while Duchovy was always the charmer by comparison.

  5. Gillian Anderson suffered similar talk show mishaps during the heyday of The X-Files, while Duchovy was always the charmer by comparison.

  6. I’d say the Gillian Anderson analogy is pretty apt. She does look rather fetching, though…

  7. I’d say the Gillian Anderson analogy is pretty apt. She does look rather fetching, though…

  8. I thought it was DELIGHTFUL. I love her nervous thumbs-up and awkward banter. It’s what makes her so devastatingly sexy. This was a much, much better sit with Dave than the last time…. He’s still a dick to her though; How is it possible there are some guys– see the first few comments above– who don’t “get” Kristen Stewart? She is the sexiest thing ever. She is pure animal magnetism and charisma… I actually love these interviews, even though they’re clearly miserable for her, but her integrity shines through a mile wide.

    I can’t even fathom the concept of NOT finding her beautiful.

  9. I thought it was DELIGHTFUL. I love her nervous thumbs-up and awkward banter. It’s what makes her so devastatingly sexy. This was a much, much better sit with Dave than the last time…. He’s still a dick to her though; How is it possible there are some guys– see the first few comments above– who don’t “get” Kristen Stewart? She is the sexiest thing ever. She is pure animal magnetism and charisma… I actually love these interviews, even though they’re clearly miserable for her, but her integrity shines through a mile wide.

    I can’t even fathom the concept of NOT finding her beautiful.

  10. “SEMI-attractive????????”

    SEMI? Explain yourself. And same goes to that dick above who called her a “scumbag.” WHY? In what why? Don’t just throw these things out there. Explain them.

    This is ridiculous.

  11. “SEMI-attractive????????”

    SEMI? Explain yourself. And same goes to that dick above who called her a “scumbag.” WHY? In what why? Don’t just throw these things out there. Explain them.

    This is ridiculous.

  12. “She is the sexiest thing ever.” Tell that to Kim Novak, Julie Christie, Isabelle Adjani, Marion Cotillard, etc.

  13. “She is the sexiest thing ever.” Tell that to Kim Novak, Julie Christie, Isabelle Adjani, Marion Cotillard, etc.

  14. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, but she’s not Beatrice to my Dante. I like that Lex has this pathological devotion to her, though. It could help redeem him.

    Y’know who was hot? Olivia Hussey, 40 years ago.

  15. I wouldn’t kick her out of bed, but she’s not Beatrice to my Dante. I like that Lex has this pathological devotion to her, though. It could help redeem him.

    Y’know who was hot? Olivia Hussey, 40 years ago.

  16. Yeah, she’s definitely not as beautiful as Marion Cotillard. (Or Emily Blunt, Emma Stone, Aubrey Plaza, Lizzy Caplan, Alison Brie, Gillian Jacobs, Emily Browning, or five million other uniquely beautiful young actresses.) She’s just kinda bland.

  17. Yeah, she’s definitely not as beautiful as Marion Cotillard. (Or Emily Blunt, Emma Stone, Aubrey Plaza, Lizzy Caplan, Alison Brie, Gillian Jacobs, Emily Browning, or five million other uniquely beautiful young actresses.) She’s just kinda bland.

  18. that to Kim Novak, Julie Christie, Isabelle Adjani, Marion Cotillard, etc.

    HAHAHAHAHA. K-STEW FOREVER.

    KIM NOVAK: OLD Also, possibly dead? GET WITH THE TIMES.

    JULIE CHRISTIE: OLD. Hot like 40 YEARS AGO. You can’t live in the past.

    ISABELLE ADJANI: Face was too turtle=y even in The Driver, but hot then. Too thin-faced though. Also a poor man’s Sophie Marceau, who now is also old.

    Marion Cotillard: Sexy, but too… too… “mature.” Also has basically the same face as Asia Argento, where sometimes they’re scorching, and sometimes they kind of annoy you. Plus she seems gruff. K-Stew is DELICATE and FRAGILE. IE, hotter.

    DEMURE, delicate, shy, bashful, nervous. K-STEW = HOTTEST.

    But by all means, list a few thousand more GRANDMAS from the fucking Old West I’m supposed to be mooning over instead of living in the here and now.

    Yahoo, ya motherfucker!

  19. that to Kim Novak, Julie Christie, Isabelle Adjani, Marion Cotillard, etc.

    HAHAHAHAHA. K-STEW FOREVER.

    KIM NOVAK: OLD Also, possibly dead? GET WITH THE TIMES.

    JULIE CHRISTIE: OLD. Hot like 40 YEARS AGO. You can’t live in the past.

    ISABELLE ADJANI: Face was too turtle=y even in The Driver, but hot then. Too thin-faced though. Also a poor man’s Sophie Marceau, who now is also old.

    Marion Cotillard: Sexy, but too… too… “mature.” Also has basically the same face as Asia Argento, where sometimes they’re scorching, and sometimes they kind of annoy you. Plus she seems gruff. K-Stew is DELICATE and FRAGILE. IE, hotter.

    DEMURE, delicate, shy, bashful, nervous. K-STEW = HOTTEST.

    But by all means, list a few thousand more GRANDMAS from the fucking Old West I’m supposed to be mooning over instead of living in the here and now.

    Yahoo, ya motherfucker!

  20. Keep em coming, guys. This is TOO RICH.

    Emily Blunt: Hot but reminds me of broccoli.

    Emma Stone: Guve me a fucking BREAK.

    Aubrey Plaza: Who???

    Lizzy Caplan: Sexy in that gawky Jewish comedienne way, but COME ON. Sexy without being pretty or charming. Too campy.

    Alison Brie: Who cares.

    Gillian Jacobs: who cares.

    Emily Browning: not K-Stew.

  21. Keep em coming, guys. This is TOO RICH.

    Emily Blunt: Hot but reminds me of broccoli.

    Emma Stone: Guve me a fucking BREAK.

    Aubrey Plaza: Who???

    Lizzy Caplan: Sexy in that gawky Jewish comedienne way, but COME ON. Sexy without being pretty or charming. Too campy.

    Alison Brie: Who cares.

    Gillian Jacobs: who cares.

    Emily Browning: not K-Stew.

  22. HOLY SHIT, AUBREY PLAZA, just googled her, you’re out of your ever-loving mind, dude.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    You will BOW before K-Stew. BOW TO HER.

  23. HOLY SHIT, AUBREY PLAZA, just googled her, you’re out of your ever-loving mind, dude.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    You will BOW before K-Stew. BOW TO HER.

  24. All those women you guys are mentioning were young once. As is K-Stew. Of course, they also all aged, as, hopefully, will K-Stew.

    I’ve always wondered. What does Lex do when one of the Lexettes passes her sell-by date? Is she simply deleted from the hard drive, or is there an actual ceremony?

  25. All those women you guys are mentioning were young once. As is K-Stew. Of course, they also all aged, as, hopefully, will K-Stew.

    I’ve always wondered. What does Lex do when one of the Lexettes passes her sell-by date? Is she simply deleted from the hard drive, or is there an actual ceremony?

  26. Rich S: You mean like today, when Megan got married, and thus has to go through a year-off cooling period, as Alba, Aguilera and Jolie did? After the year in the Fortress of Solitude, I decide if I can accept their marriage/kids, OR if they get banished to the Alicia Silverstone Who Cares Zone.

  27. Rich S: You mean like today, when Megan got married, and thus has to go through a year-off cooling period, as Alba, Aguilera and Jolie did? After the year in the Fortress of Solitude, I decide if I can accept their marriage/kids, OR if they get banished to the Alicia Silverstone Who Cares Zone.

  28. I was thinking more about the latter. I doubt Alicia was ever in K-Stew’s Lexette orbit, though.

    Will this be something like Elvis’ death? “Do you remember where you were when K-Stew turned 30?”

  29. I was thinking more about the latter. I doubt Alicia was ever in K-Stew’s Lexette orbit, though.

    Will this be something like Elvis’ death? “Do you remember where you were when K-Stew turned 30?”

  30. TONS of charisma.

    She is Brando, Madonna, Pacino, Dean, Marilyn, and Sir Peter O’Toole, only wrapped in the body of a less pneumatic (thank God) Scarlett Johansson.

    Best actress EVER.

    And for future reference, these are the Top Ten Lexettes:

    1. K-Stew

    (then ten TRILLION MILES of time and space)

    2. The Fox (though not after this marriage shit.)

    3. Taylor Swift

    4. Dakota Fanning

    5. Amanda Seyfried

    6. Jessica Alba (maybe sliding back into Foxy’s spot since Killer Inside Me)

    7. Emma Roberts

    8. Jessica Biel

    9. Taylor Momsen

    10. Tie between 10,000 other starlets I’m too busy to remember.

  31. TONS of charisma.

    She is Brando, Madonna, Pacino, Dean, Marilyn, and Sir Peter O’Toole, only wrapped in the body of a less pneumatic (thank God) Scarlett Johansson.

    Best actress EVER.

    And for future reference, these are the Top Ten Lexettes:

    1. K-Stew

    (then ten TRILLION MILES of time and space)

    2. The Fox (though not after this marriage shit.)

    3. Taylor Swift

    4. Dakota Fanning

    5. Amanda Seyfried

    6. Jessica Alba (maybe sliding back into Foxy’s spot since Killer Inside Me)

    7. Emma Roberts

    8. Jessica Biel

    9. Taylor Momsen

    10. Tie between 10,000 other starlets I’m too busy to remember.

  32. Rich: Jolie, Theron, Stefani and Madonna have all crossed 30 and are still going strong for me. Nothing wrong with older chicks, as long as they act 18.

  33. Rich: Jolie, Theron, Stefani and Madonna have all crossed 30 and are still going strong for me. Nothing wrong with older chicks, as long as they act 18.

  34. While she’s sexy, no one could really call her beautiful without pause. I think the jury is still out on her, but my problem with her onscreen is that she has no sense of how to deliver dialogue. She may have some presence, but her line readings are never interesting, always go inward and she just feels too “small” more often than not. There’s no style or snap to her performances, and to me she can’t really get herself out of the way enough to become a character. Her routine worked best during a few minutes of Into the Wild and some of The Runaways, though Fanning was the driving force there.

  35. While she’s sexy, no one could really call her beautiful without pause. I think the jury is still out on her, but my problem with her onscreen is that she has no sense of how to deliver dialogue. She may have some presence, but her line readings are never interesting, always go inward and she just feels too “small” more often than not. There’s no style or snap to her performances, and to me she can’t really get herself out of the way enough to become a character. Her routine worked best during a few minutes of Into the Wild and some of The Runaways, though Fanning was the driving force there.

  36. I love that all it takes to break LexG’s brain is to say that you don’t find Kristen Stewart all that attractive.

    It’s like telling a small-town Christian that God doesn’t exist.

  37. I love that all it takes to break LexG’s brain is to say that you don’t find Kristen Stewart all that attractive.

    It’s like telling a small-town Christian that God doesn’t exist.

  38. Gotta go with Lex on this. I love Kristen Stewart. I love her enough to even forgive her this Twilight crap. I’ve been a fan since Panic Room and thought she was a doll in The Runaways. Meghan Fox though….for me she’s the same as Pamela Anderson. I know the whole world thinks she’s hot but she just never did it for me. I guess she just seems like she’s mean in real life. Kristen seems more normal.

  39. Gotta go with Lex on this. I love Kristen Stewart. I love her enough to even forgive her this Twilight crap. I’ve been a fan since Panic Room and thought she was a doll in The Runaways. Meghan Fox though….for me she’s the same as Pamela Anderson. I know the whole world thinks she’s hot but she just never did it for me. I guess she just seems like she’s mean in real life. Kristen seems more normal.

  40. Fan since Panic Room indeed, but when I saw her in SPEAK in 2005, I called it INSTANTLY that she would become the biggest star in the world, and end up the most beautiful woman of all time.

    Correct on both counts.

  41. Fan since Panic Room indeed, but when I saw her in SPEAK in 2005, I called it INSTANTLY that she would become the biggest star in the world, and end up the most beautiful woman of all time.

    Correct on both counts.

  42. the Agony & Ecstacy of PS movie on Youtube just got pulled … watched it once and then was half way through a second viewing when it got yanked by request of the BBC …. re ECLIPSE – the teens are like John Hughes’ youth minus sex … there is no blood despite severed heads and limbs ….. the wolves look as tall as horses next to the teens – are they supposed to be that big?

  43. the Agony & Ecstacy of PS movie on Youtube just got pulled … watched it once and then was half way through a second viewing when it got yanked by request of the BBC …. re ECLIPSE – the teens are like John Hughes’ youth minus sex … there is no blood despite severed heads and limbs ….. the wolves look as tall as horses next to the teens – are they supposed to be that big?

  44. Nothing wrong with Kristen Stewart in the Letterman interview; Dave’s the dick here, rambling on forever about the wolves and what not, and she’s clearly not at ease with the situation. You sense she never gets a moments pause to relax and be herself, having constantly to keep up with Dave’s forced and ridiculous agenda.

    What’s with this getting “into the zen” and “find the groove,” as if it’s anything else but a learned and superficial behavior? Certainly there is room for more? I find Lex is right – she’s got integrity, and having that just shines through with her akwardness in the interview – which clearly falls back on Dave, I find, and his inability, in this situation, to get Kristen “into the groove.”

  45. Nothing wrong with Kristen Stewart in the Letterman interview; Dave’s the dick here, rambling on forever about the wolves and what not, and she’s clearly not at ease with the situation. You sense she never gets a moments pause to relax and be herself, having constantly to keep up with Dave’s forced and ridiculous agenda.

    What’s with this getting “into the zen” and “find the groove,” as if it’s anything else but a learned and superficial behavior? Certainly there is room for more? I find Lex is right – she’s got integrity, and having that just shines through with her akwardness in the interview – which clearly falls back on Dave, I find, and his inability, in this situation, to get Kristen “into the groove.”

  46. Letterman can be a real cock sometimes. Like when Jamie Oliver was on recently. Jesus, he laid into the poor guy for his ideas about healthy eating. Seemed genuinely pissed off that Oliver was on his show. It’s weird. He can quite funny sometimes, but when he’s in a bad mood it comes across quite poorly.

  47. Letterman can be a real cock sometimes. Like when Jamie Oliver was on recently. Jesus, he laid into the poor guy for his ideas about healthy eating. Seemed genuinely pissed off that Oliver was on his show. It’s weird. He can quite funny sometimes, but when he’s in a bad mood it comes across quite poorly.

  48. As Letterman gets older, I find more and more that he can barely disguise his contempt for these Pretty Young Things who star in these ridiculously stupid movies. Letterman knows they’re crappy movies and he knows the stars know they’re really crappy movies, but he loves to needle them about how stupid and ridiculous they are.

    And sorry, Lex, Kristen is no match for Isabelle Adjani back in the day…especially Story of Adele H where she was not only beautiful but brilliant…and earned an Oscar nom in the process. Let’s see your K-Stew do that. And don’t bring up Grandmas either…because as someone already pointed out, one day K-Stew will also be OLD.

  49. As Letterman gets older, I find more and more that he can barely disguise his contempt for these Pretty Young Things who star in these ridiculously stupid movies. Letterman knows they’re crappy movies and he knows the stars know they’re really crappy movies, but he loves to needle them about how stupid and ridiculous they are.

    And sorry, Lex, Kristen is no match for Isabelle Adjani back in the day…especially Story of Adele H where she was not only beautiful but brilliant…and earned an Oscar nom in the process. Let’s see your K-Stew do that. And don’t bring up Grandmas either…because as someone already pointed out, one day K-Stew will also be OLD.

  50. I think it’s a safe bet that K-Stew will be outshined (at least in 2010) by J-Law … and how will Lex deal with that conundrum?

  51. I think it’s a safe bet that K-Stew will be outshined (at least in 2010) by J-Law … and how will Lex deal with that conundrum?

  52. K-Stew is lovely. You don’t have to be the world’s biggest fan of her to see that much. And anyone who thinks Aubrey Plaza is anywhere near as hot as her is clearly on crack. Or a hipster who secretly believes he’d have a chance with Aubrey Plaza which makes her seem more attractive by default.

  53. K-Stew is lovely. You don’t have to be the world’s biggest fan of her to see that much. And anyone who thinks Aubrey Plaza is anywhere near as hot as her is clearly on crack. Or a hipster who secretly believes he’d have a chance with Aubrey Plaza which makes her seem more attractive by default.

  54. Daviddb -

    An appealing angle on Dave’s contempt, and how it may explain the way he “handled” Kristen. I’ll have to give him that..

  55. Daviddb -

    An appealing angle on Dave’s contempt, and how it may explain the way he “handled” Kristen. I’ll have to give him that..

  56. Yeah, I just can’t see the appeal. She is a dim bulb and has almost zero personality. She really needs the antidote for that emo virus.

  57. Yeah, I just can’t see the appeal. She is a dim bulb and has almost zero personality. She really needs the antidote for that emo virus.

  58. Eloi,

    No. K-Stew has the body of a 12 year old boy. Her face is just dull. Not ugly. Just dull.

    She has zero talent judging from the few movies I’ve seen her in.

    I didn’t know who Aubrey Plaza was until two minutes ago. She may be the least talented person on earth for all I know. And I don’t get the hipster comment because I don’t know anything about her.

    But she is better looking that K-Stew. The bar is low, and Plaza just barely gets over it.

  59. Eloi,

    No. K-Stew has the body of a 12 year old boy. Her face is just dull. Not ugly. Just dull.

    She has zero talent judging from the few movies I’ve seen her in.

    I didn’t know who Aubrey Plaza was until two minutes ago. She may be the least talented person on earth for all I know. And I don’t get the hipster comment because I don’t know anything about her.

    But she is better looking that K-Stew. The bar is low, and Plaza just barely gets over it.

  60. Letterman barely watches movies (barely ever did), so it IS a little painful when she says “Taylor” as if Letterman has ANY idea who that is, or cares. But that’s kind of on him, not her… This is one of the biggest things in the popcult world of the moment, and Letterman’s off in his own grumpy-old man world. Or he’d know and RESPECT Kristen from:

    Panic Room

    Into the Wild

    In the Land of Women

    Messengers

    What Just Happened

    Yellow Handkerchief

    The Runaways

    Adventureland

    Undertow

    Safety of Objects

    You get the sense that, with the POSSIBLE of exception of INTO THE WILD, which would appeal to Dave’s nature outdoorsman fetish, he hasn’t seen or heard of ANY of those, and he’s not remotely aware he’s talking to The New Brando. Instead he’s just heard that she’s in Twilight, barely cares what that is, and goes on to treat her like he does the fucking SURVIVOR outcasts.

    Weird, though, because usually for all his cluelessness, Dave will bring out that ANNOYING, 20-years-stale flirty shitck with young actresses. You know, “Hey, what’s your boyfriend’s name? Can I guess? Is it Kenny?” “Hey, YOU’RE JUST A KID!” It’s the most embarrassing shit ever, but over the years Dave’s done it with everyone from Liv Tyler to Natalie Portman to Olivia Wilde.

    No idea why K-Stew doesn’t qualify or why she seems to set him off, of all AWESOME, serious actresses, other than Dave just gets prickly when someone isn’t all about lame shtick.

    K-STEW FOREVER.

  61. Letterman barely watches movies (barely ever did), so it IS a little painful when she says “Taylor” as if Letterman has ANY idea who that is, or cares. But that’s kind of on him, not her… This is one of the biggest things in the popcult world of the moment, and Letterman’s off in his own grumpy-old man world. Or he’d know and RESPECT Kristen from:

    Panic Room

    Into the Wild

    In the Land of Women

    Messengers

    What Just Happened

    Yellow Handkerchief

    The Runaways

    Adventureland

    Undertow

    Safety of Objects

    You get the sense that, with the POSSIBLE of exception of INTO THE WILD, which would appeal to Dave’s nature outdoorsman fetish, he hasn’t seen or heard of ANY of those, and he’s not remotely aware he’s talking to The New Brando. Instead he’s just heard that she’s in Twilight, barely cares what that is, and goes on to treat her like he does the fucking SURVIVOR outcasts.

    Weird, though, because usually for all his cluelessness, Dave will bring out that ANNOYING, 20-years-stale flirty shitck with young actresses. You know, “Hey, what’s your boyfriend’s name? Can I guess? Is it Kenny?” “Hey, YOU’RE JUST A KID!” It’s the most embarrassing shit ever, but over the years Dave’s done it with everyone from Liv Tyler to Natalie Portman to Olivia Wilde.

    No idea why K-Stew doesn’t qualify or why she seems to set him off, of all AWESOME, serious actresses, other than Dave just gets prickly when someone isn’t all about lame shtick.

    K-STEW FOREVER.

  62. Dave wasn’t even trying to be a genial host. If he clearly has no respect for her, he shouldn’t have agreed to have her on his show. I thought he came away looking worse.

  63. Dave wasn’t even trying to be a genial host. If he clearly has no respect for her, he shouldn’t have agreed to have her on his show. I thought he came away looking worse.

  64. That’s odd, Lex…wouldn’t you say you get a little prickly when other people on these boards aren’t all about YOUR lame schtick?

    HYPOCRITE POWER.

  65. That’s odd, Lex…wouldn’t you say you get a little prickly when other people on these boards aren’t all about YOUR lame schtick?

    HYPOCRITE POWER.

  66. Aubrey Plaza seems fun, sharp, and is very cute. To me, Kristin Stewart comes off as surly and dumb. To each his own, though, folks find different things attractive.

    Jessica Alba in The Killer Inside Me, though (before she gets her face smashed into something resembling Jigsaw from Punisher: War Zone) was astoundingly sultry and sexy.

  67. Aubrey Plaza seems fun, sharp, and is very cute. To me, Kristin Stewart comes off as surly and dumb. To each his own, though, folks find different things attractive.

    Jessica Alba in The Killer Inside Me, though (before she gets her face smashed into something resembling Jigsaw from Punisher: War Zone) was astoundingly sultry and sexy.

  68. Citizen, not today. I have a million zillion things to do before work, and I’m sitting here refreshing in a stewing rage at some of the bullshit I am seeing.

    Nick X: I’ll grant you an exemption because you recognize the hotness of Alba in KIM, which makes up for thinking a FEMALE COMIC could be attractive, especially a mopey hipster body-odor looking one. That chick blows.

    K-Stew is maybe surly but she SURE AS HELL isn’t dumb. She’s the most innately intelligent actress in the world. She just doesn’t suffer fools. And with his hostile goober act, Letterman comes off like a fool here. Gee, Dave, instead of the HOTTEST WOMAN ALIVE, we all know you’d rather sit there and BORE US TO TEARS talking to Tom Brokaw about fucking BASS FISHING for the 10 millionth time.

  69. Citizen, not today. I have a million zillion things to do before work, and I’m sitting here refreshing in a stewing rage at some of the bullshit I am seeing.

    Nick X: I’ll grant you an exemption because you recognize the hotness of Alba in KIM, which makes up for thinking a FEMALE COMIC could be attractive, especially a mopey hipster body-odor looking one. That chick blows.

    K-Stew is maybe surly but she SURE AS HELL isn’t dumb. She’s the most innately intelligent actress in the world. She just doesn’t suffer fools. And with his hostile goober act, Letterman comes off like a fool here. Gee, Dave, instead of the HOTTEST WOMAN ALIVE, we all know you’d rather sit there and BORE US TO TEARS talking to Tom Brokaw about fucking BASS FISHING for the 10 millionth time.

  70. >Fan since Panic Room indeed, but when I saw her in SPEAK in 2005, I called it INSTANTLY that she would become the biggest star in the world, and end up the most beautiful woman of all time.

    >Correct on both counts.

    she’s the biggest star in the world?

  71. >Fan since Panic Room indeed, but when I saw her in SPEAK in 2005, I called it INSTANTLY that she would become the biggest star in the world, and end up the most beautiful woman of all time.

    >Correct on both counts.

    she’s the biggest star in the world?

  72. “she’s the biggest star in the world?”

    Show me someone who “trends” higher on the Internet, who has more (unwanted) paparazzi attention, or scores more interviews or magazine covers at the moment. Show me. Or someone who is TALKED ABOUT MORE in the last two or three years on sites like these, entertainment magazines, or gossip columns.

    Not to mention the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS the Twilight movies have made… She’s been “seen” and written about more than any current actress since the first Twilight.

    I’m not talking about in the statistical breakdown box-office way, just in terms of ink and hype.

    BIGGEST STAR IN THE WORLD.

  73. “she’s the biggest star in the world?”

    Show me someone who “trends” higher on the Internet, who has more (unwanted) paparazzi attention, or scores more interviews or magazine covers at the moment. Show me. Or someone who is TALKED ABOUT MORE in the last two or three years on sites like these, entertainment magazines, or gossip columns.

    Not to mention the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS the Twilight movies have made… She’s been “seen” and written about more than any current actress since the first Twilight.

    I’m not talking about in the statistical breakdown box-office way, just in terms of ink and hype.

    BIGGEST STAR IN THE WORLD.

  74. Brad Pitt.

    Case closed.

    My parents don’t know who the fuck Stewart is. Granted, they’re almost entirely out of the loop, but that just goes to prove my point.

  75. Brad Pitt hasn’t even had a MOVIE since Dec 08. Or if he has, nobody remembers it.

    KRISTEN STEWART > BRAD PITT.

    Fuck it, I AM RETIRING AGAIN if one more person naysays the HOTTEST WOMAN ALIVE.

    I’m out.

  76. Oh, shit, he was in Basterds. My bad.

    Still not as big a star as Kristen AT THIS MOMENT.

    How can you not love her?

  77. I find Stewart’s intellect appealing. Physically, she looks like a young male cancer victim who has spent three straight weeks smoking medicinal marijuana before taking that final dose of chemo. Nothing against her for that; in fact, I think it will help her career if she isn’t some glamorous beauty.

    On a side note: rather than talk about actual movie stuff, Jeff posts a video of Stewart, which then leads to numerous Lex rants and sixty comments. SEO, baby, SEO!!

  78. Ray DeRousse, why are you so ANGRY and UNPLEASANT in life? All your posts are fucking cranky and evil and aggressive and stupid? What, trying to work up some kind of following for your site or something? Damn, dude, you gotta balance that shit out with some joie de vivre. Nobody responds to it. Nobody. You just seem like a grumpy old loon.

    Your first paragraph of #55 is FUCKING DESPICABLE.

    Seriously, get some anger management or something. You’re one bitter, joyless person.

  79. Ten Most Beautiful Actresses in Movie History According to Me:

    1. Diane Lane (circa 1987)

    2. Tuesday Weld (circa 1968)

    3. Dorothy Stratten (circa 1980)

    4. Sherilynn Fenn (circa 1988)

    5. Theresa Russell (circa 1979)

    6. Isabelle Huppert (circa 1982)

    7. Charlie Spradling (circa 1989)

    8. Deborah Kara Unger (circa 1994)

    9. Jean Seberg (circa 1960)

    10. Sue Lyon (circa 1964)

  80. >She is Brando, Madonna, Pacino, Dean, Marilyn, and Sir Peter O’Toole, only wrapped in the body of a less pneumatic (thank God) Scarlett Johansson.

    >Best actress EVER.

    No, she’s not, Lex. She’s not even remotely in the conversation. I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt that this is your weird Bukowski-bender-blog-persona schtick, but if you actually believe it, then your understanding of acting and cinema is microscopic.

    Better actresses:

    Marion Cotillard

    Glenda Jackson

    Kristin Scott Thomas

    Tilda Swinton

    Katharine Hepburn (dude have you SEEN Lion in Winter?)

    Sian Philliips

    Gong Li

    Jodie Foster

    Renee Zellweger

    Agnes Moorehead

    Giulietta Masina

    Helen Hunt

    Laura Linney

    Elizabeth Taylor

    Robin Wright Penn

    Diane Keaton

    Claire Danes

    Jennifer Lawrence

    Bette Davis

    Alyson Hannigan

    Michelle Pfeiffer

    Kathleen Turner

    Emma Thompson

    Margaret Lockwood

    Frances McDormand

    Vivien Leigh

    Liza Minelli (don’t knock her till you’ve seen Cabaret)

    Samantha Morton

    Sigourney Weaver

    Linda Hamilton

    Linda Hunt

    Kathy Bates

    Holly Hunter

    Geena Davis

    Off the top of my head.

    Stewart is very pretty and she’s a trooper and she got the job done in the Runaways, but your absurd praise merely diminishes her.

  81. >Show me someone who “trends” higher on the Internet, who has more (unwanted) paparazzi attention, or scores more interviews or magazine covers at the moment. Show me. Or someone who is TALKED ABOUT MORE in the last two or three years on sites like these, entertainment magazines, or gossip columns.

    >Not to mention the HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS the Twilight movies have made… She’s been “seen” and written about more than any current actress since the first Twilight.

    >I’m not talking about in the statistical breakdown box-office way, just in terms of ink and hype.

    She’s like Daniel Radcliffe — competently servicing a huge property. Totally different animal than a Depp or a Pitt or a Cruise or even a Jolie, who have whole movies built around their name.

  82. >On a side note: rather than talk about actual movie stuff, Jeff posts a video of Stewart, which then leads to numerous Lex rants and sixty comments. SEO, baby, SEO!!

    Yeah, it’s flagrant. But here we are, encouraging it.

  83. Why do you guys bring up these OLD-ASS ACTRESSES from 50 years ago as “most beautiful”?

    If I couldn’t CURRENTLY date her or at least think she was CURRENTLY HOT, guess what? She’s not hot.

    Now, recently, I saw WALKABOUT for the first time with jailbait Jenny Agutter, and I was majorly impressed, but still, the rule has to stand:

    Hotness can only exist in the present.

  84. Also, bluefugue should be BANNED FOR LIFE for even MENTIONING Helen Hunt as a good actress, or as anything other than the most hatable, least charismatic, most unpleasant person ever to accidentally end up in big movies for five minutes.

    Seriously, I give you KRISTEN STEWART, and you come back with HELEN HUNT?

    HELEN HUNT????????????

    You CANNOT be serious. Oh, my GOD, that just might be the post that convinces me to give up blog posting.

    I can’t fucking win with you people.

    Helen Hunt. CHRIST.

  85. Hey I think Kristen is a cutie and a decent enough actress, but I don’t think she is the reason behind the success of the Twilight series. They would have been just as successful with any semi-competent actress out there. The movies are for tween and teen age girls who want to see their beloved books come to life. Damned the quality of the flicks, they are there to support them no matter what.

    Yes, Dave is a little to cranky for his own good.

  86. @ LexG – You say I’m grumpy and joyless, but spend most of your time BERATING and ATTACKING almost anyone with a different opinion than you.

    Dude, just because you’re a joke, it doesn’t make you joyful.

  87. I am as good-natured and agreeable as May flowers. I would NEVER say some straight HATEFUL bullshit like that crap you posted, which should get you on a fucking watch list. You are ANGRY. I am A DELIGHT. 99% of HE *loves* the G-Master, and that same 99% has told you to tone it down. Winner, the MASTER.

    BOW.

  88. Go to work, Lex.

    Don’t want to end up like DeeZee. And frankly your crazy, willful stubbornness is beginning to resemble his a little bit in this thread.

    Stewart’s a pretty decent actress for her age, and I’m not really going to argue the hot-or-not merits of anyone (intellectualize sex appeal is like dancing about architecture), but the constant comparisons to Dean, Brando, and Pacino are so unbelievably outlandish that no one’s ever going to be able to take your opinions of her seriously (if they were somehow able to get past the Limp Bizkit, wallet-chain thing).

  89. I thought she was a boy for the first half of Panic Room.

    She doesn’t look much more feminine now. She’s gross.

  90. Ah, Helen Hunt…the handful of junkets I went to last year, I took a straw poll amongst the assembled media from across the country and asked them by far who were the most unpleasant people they had to interview…

    #1. Tommy Lee Jones. This was no contest. People were shouting his name from across the room.

    #2. Helen Hunt. As one wag said to me, “You know what’s great about Helen Hunt? Her last name rhymes with what she is”.

  91. @ bluefugue – That’s a pretty wild and interesting list of better actresses! I was surprised by your pick of Morton, although I completely agree. LOVED that you picked Sian Phillips!!! She was unforgettable in Dune! I’ve also always had this weird thing for Emma Thompson. Not sure I can stay with you on Claire Danes, though.But, to each his own.

  92. I saw Winter’s Bone on Friday, and I would have to say that Jennifer Lawrence is way more attractive than Kristen Stewart. In that same cutesexy way. I’ll grant that Stewart CAN be gorgeous, but she too often acts like she has mild contempt for the world. Vivacity is more attractive to me than aloofness. But different strokes for different folks, man.

    Other actresses who are clearly superior to Stewart in looks and public personality:

    Isla Fisher

    Amanda Seyfried

    Scarlett Johansson (though hilariously, she always looks really enthused about everything in publicity photos, and really, really bored onscreen)

    Mary Elizabeth Winstead

    Zooey Deschanel

    Gemma Arterton

    Emma Watson (I MEA JESUS CHRIST HAVE YOU SEEN THE HARRY POTTER 7 TRAILER? wow)

  93. bluefugue, Alyson Hannigan?

    She seems like a nice person, but she is nails-on-a-chalkboard annoying in everything she’s ever been in. And I like 3 shows she’s been a regular/semi-regular on.

  94. I don’t think I have seen any of her interviews that goes smooth. She is clearly very uncomfortable doing these sort of things, but have to do it to promote the movies…

    Though, I have to say, it’s this kind of awkwardness that makes it entertaining to watch these interviews. I wouldn’t want her to be become ‘better’ at these things at all.

  95. Why is she famous again? And what has she done outside of the Twilight movies?

    Of that interview — she needs a good f**ck and to loosen up a bit and have some fun.

  96. @ Chicago48 – I’m sure Pattinson is attempting to help her out in that department.

    And while we’re on that couple (ahem), did anyone hear that Pattinson/Stewart made Forbes’ list of “most powerful” celebrities list? What the hell does “most powerful” even mean?

  97. She is a good actress for her age. I don’t watch any of the Twilight moves, but she is good in Advantureland and The Runaway. Actually, if you look at her films, she’s in a lot more smaller films than Hollywood production. Without the Twilight series, she may not be on Letterman or other late night talk shows.

  98. A tip of the hat to MilkMan for his classic list. All winners. Diane Lane would probably be my top pick.

    Lex … FWIW, I really enjoyed K-Stew in Adventureland and In The Land of Women. I think Advertureland was filmed in my town of Pittsburgh.

  99. Anyone who took time to make a list of actresses better than Kristen Stewart, as if this is an important thing that must be addressed, is either a flaming homosexual or impotent.

  100. The new Brando? I think I just threw up a little in my mouth. The new Gillian Anderson, I’ll give you that. The new Pfeiffer, maybe. But no way is she anywhere near Brando. It’s a shame that Hollywood-Elsewhere is becoming so LexG-centric it’s very nearly unbearable. But for the odd interesting post now and then it has become too slanted towards the young, dumb and full of cum.

  101. “You set ‘em up, and I’ll knock ‘em back, Lloyd m’man– one by one.”

    Isla Fisher: Cute. Sexy. Not Kristen.

    Amanda Seyfried: #5 to K-Stew’s #1. Good choice, no beef with anyone who puts Seyfy top of the pops.

    Scarlett Johansson: Straight-up K-Stew wannabe. An immortal classic, but KRISTEN LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HER, except a million times sexier. The student usurped the master. Plus she’s married, so points off. Also too pneumatic, but HOT.

    Mary Elizabeth Winstead: Get real. Please.

    Zooey Deschanel: Top 20 material, big fan, but K-Stew has age on her side.

    Gemma Arterton: Too puckered. Too British. Too sharp. Hot but always looks like she’s smelling something bad. Weird skin. Nah.

    Emma Watson: Yeah, a fan, but too short. Face not as stunning as Kristen’s.

    Also you have to add in the element of Kristen’s *body-melting* VOICE.

  102. “Scarlett Johansson: Straight-up K-Stew wannabe. An immortal classic, but KRISTEN LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE HER, except a million times sexier. The student usurped the master. Plus she’s married, so points off. Also too pneumatic, but HOT.”

    I almost feel bad for you. Scarlett actually has curves and looks like a woman.

  103. Long as we’re all complaining about Dave:

    Another rant I’ve had about Letterman for nearly 30 years is, he’ll have someone on like K-Stew he doesn’t like, and he’ll hang her out to dry…

    Then he’ll have some cornpone hayseed athlete on, some totally boring motherfucker, and Dave’s enraptured despite the fact that jocks are NEVER funny or interesting or good television, because 90% of athletes don’t need to develop a personality or sense of humor, because it’s all generic bromides about being a winner or “we gotta get out there, and that’s what we’ll do.” But Dave will have some ballplayer or Indy car driver on, and FAWN like there’s no tomorrow.

    Right now Landon Donovan, whoever THAT is, some soccer DOUCHE, is on, and Dave’s practically lifting the desk with his boner. Where was there rapturous ass-kissing when K-Stew was on?

  104. Kristen doesn’t radiate sexuality. She’s a clone of so many other young actresses and doesn’t stand out unless she’s promo’ing the Twilight films. Thank god those are going away. What will she do now?

  105. Lex mentioned Kristen’s voice being sexy.

    Hmm.

    Dave: “So, are you excited about the big movie?”

    Kristen (in a flat, emotionless monotone): “I’m so excited for everyone to see it, yeah.”

    HOT.

  106. Thanks for all the support in my campaign to make Lex’s head explode. (Has it exploded yet?) Kudos to Milkman for his impressive list. Tuesday in her prime makes KStew looks like a plant that hasn’t been watered in a month.

    Have to agree with Lex about one thing, though. Helen Hunt is the excrescence of actresses.

  107. I find flat, emotionless monotones on women to be VERY sexy. Kristen’s voice is *beautiful.*

    There isn’t one element of her– physical attribute or personality-wise– that isn’t my “ultimate” chick. She’s like she’s bioengineered to appeal to absolutely every taste preference I have in women.

    Obviously I’m too old for her and will probably never meet her, and if I did I’d either be 100% tongue-tied or I’d pass out like a Peruvian fat woman outside Michael Jackson’s hotel in 1990… But in pure fantasy, movie-star reverence terms, she is in every way the sexiest, most idealized combination of traits in one woman I could imagine.

  108. Well, congratulations to Lex.

    Never in the history of HE have I seen the contributions of one poster almost single-handedly push the comments to the absolute brink of triple digits.

    Not only has he posted nearly 1/4 of the content in this thread (prob. more than that if you take into account just how long some of them were), but a large majority of the other comments are written almost entirely in refutation of the claims he’s making.

    If it weren’t for him, I think there would only be about 11 posts on this page, all of them just kind of lackadaisically noting how awkward she is in interviews.

  109. Wells and others may be interested in this story.

    I saw Winter’s Bone at the Arc Light Saturday. Jennifer Lawrence attended and did a Q&A with Pete Hammond after the screening. Hammond is without a doubt the worst interviewer of all time, but even with that handicap, Lawrence was awful. Lost, stammering, inappropriate, embarrassing, nothing interesting to say.

    I discussed this with friends and came to the conclusion that in many cases, the less personality an actor has, the better performance they give.

  110. Wells and others may be interested in this story.

    I saw Winter’s Bone at the Arc Light Saturday. Jennifer Lawrence attended and did a Q&A with Pete Hammond after the screening. Hammond is without a doubt the worst interviewer of all time, but even with that handicap, Lawrence was awful. Lost, stammering, inappropriate, embarrassing, nothing interesting to say.

    I discussed this with friends and came to the conclusion that in many cases, the less personality an actor has, the better performance they give.

  111. Well, she is kind of a nitwit. So there’s that.

    There’s no “there” there. There’s a difference between being uncomortable because of the way you interract with someone vs being uncomfortable in a “oh my god can I fake my way thorugh this without giving away the fact that i don’t belong here in any way” kind of deal.

    She simply doesn’t understand how to be savvy with the media. She doesn’t have it upstairs to understand the subtleties required to tiptoe through the land mines of celebrity. And she surely must know that nobody’s standing around waiting for her particular take when it comes to anything that means anything.

    Hey. I’m sure she’ll be fine whatever comes down the road.

  112. Well, she is kind of a nitwit. So there’s that.

    There’s no “there” there. There’s a difference between being uncomortable because of the way you interract with someone vs being uncomfortable in a “oh my god can I fake my way thorugh this without giving away the fact that i don’t belong here in any way” kind of deal.

    She simply doesn’t understand how to be savvy with the media. She doesn’t have it upstairs to understand the subtleties required to tiptoe through the land mines of celebrity. And she surely must know that nobody’s standing around waiting for her particular take when it comes to anything that means anything.

    Hey. I’m sure she’ll be fine whatever comes down the road.

  113. Lex, you’re being a complete idiot about this.

    Donovan did something new, and original.

    Your little obsession did something that many nobodies have done before: she opened a movie that made money.

    Get the fuck over it. She’s not the second coming of anything.

    And this is coming from someone that thinks she’s talented. But she’s not all that.

  114. Lex, you’re being a complete idiot about this.

    Donovan did something new, and original.

    Your little obsession did something that many nobodies have done before: she opened a movie that made money.

    Get the fuck over it. She’s not the second coming of anything.

    And this is coming from someone that thinks she’s talented. But she’s not all that.

  115. Maybe I missed something, but I thought it was godawful. Norton obviously had a lot of fun making it, but every single one of the characters is a very broad caricature and the laughs are so

    obvious. Will watch again, though, in the future and see if my opinion changes.

    It is like a Gucci bags.

  116. Maybe I missed something, but I thought it was godawful. Norton obviously had a lot of fun making it, but every single one of the characters is a very broad caricature and the laughs are so

    obvious. Will watch again, though, in the future and see if my opinion changes.

    It is like a Gucci bags.

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