Even Keel

I don’t know what to do with this Angelina Jolie interview in the new Vanity Fair. She’s as beautiful as ever with a great pedicure, and I’m looking forward to Salt as much as the next guy, etc. But everything she says here is so gracious and settled-down and serene. What are you supposed to do with a q & a like this? She’s hot, cool and fetching, and I’m not…you know, complaining. But what are you supposed to do with this?

She loves Brad Pitt in any guise, even his Old-Man-River beard. She and he might do a sequel to Mr. and Mrs. Smith. (God.) She’s aware that having too many kids might result in none of them getting enough attention. It’s great to be able to chill and stroll around in Venice and not have to worry about anything.

Why didn’t they have her talk to George Wayne ? At least he would have had the nerve to mention the tabloid stories.

54 thoughts on “Even Keel

  1. Exactly. She’s way too normal. Hence, I no longer buy her as some kind of international action star…she’s just a mom. A hot mom. But a mom.

  2. Exactly. She’s way too normal. Hence, I no longer buy her as some kind of international action star…she’s just a mom. A hot mom. But a mom.

  3. “At least he would have had the nerve to mention the tabloid stories.”

    That’s really what you want to know about? Tabloid gossip? Ugh.

  4. “At least he would have had the nerve to mention the tabloid stories.”

    That’s really what you want to know about? Tabloid gossip? Ugh.

  5. Curtesy of our guest photographer, Lex G. “Uh, Angie, could you roll over so we can see your soles. Um, you need to exfoliate more.”

  6. Curtesy of our guest photographer, Lex G. “Uh, Angie, could you roll over so we can see your soles. Um, you need to exfoliate more.”

  7. Ever notice how there seems to be a lot of celebrity portraits (male or female) done with the celebrity’s feet exposed? Is it supposed to make them seem more normal? Or is it supposed to be them pretending that they’re lounging around comfortably at home rather than a soundstage?

    Never understood it.

  8. Ever notice how there seems to be a lot of celebrity portraits (male or female) done with the celebrity’s feet exposed? Is it supposed to make them seem more normal? Or is it supposed to be them pretending that they’re lounging around comfortably at home rather than a soundstage?

    Never understood it.

  9. Ok. I’ll bite. I was in Paris last year with the wife and we saw Brangelina at a restaurant. It was quite late and there was almost no one else in the place. They came in late but didn’t make a big scene and were low-key (no kids, etc). It wasn’t the first time I’d seen a movie star close by, BUT, Christ, the woman looks good. I mean, REALLY good. Seeing her up close and real, JW will back me up on this, is pretty great. thankfully, my wife understood.

  10. Ok. I’ll bite. I was in Paris last year with the wife and we saw Brangelina at a restaurant. It was quite late and there was almost no one else in the place. They came in late but didn’t make a big scene and were low-key (no kids, etc). It wasn’t the first time I’d seen a movie star close by, BUT, Christ, the woman looks good. I mean, REALLY good. Seeing her up close and real, JW will back me up on this, is pretty great. thankfully, my wife understood.

  11. RE: LexG’s reaction to this.

    On the one hand, there are those feet exposed for his delight.

    On the other, there is the fact that at 35 she is a good decade past her prime.

  12. RE: LexG’s reaction to this.

    On the one hand, there are those feet exposed for his delight.

    On the other, there is the fact that at 35 she is a good decade past her prime.

  13. “Ever notice how there seems to be a lot of celebrity portraits (male or female) done with the celebrity’s feet exposed?”

    Photographers in general like it. I’ve seen loads of trendy family portraits taken against a white background with bare feet. I think they think it’s more expressive or something.

  14. “Ever notice how there seems to be a lot of celebrity portraits (male or female) done with the celebrity’s feet exposed?”

    Photographers in general like it. I’ve seen loads of trendy family portraits taken against a white background with bare feet. I think they think it’s more expressive or something.

  15. For my money, no one will ever ask her ENOUGH questions about making out with her brother at the Oscars.

    WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

  16. For my money, no one will ever ask her ENOUGH questions about making out with her brother at the Oscars.

    WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

  17. “On the other, there is the fact that at 35 she is a good decade past her prime.”

    Sorry to disappoint, DTG, but Jolie is eternally hot. Not to mention the greatest “female movie star” of our generation. In that she has across-the-board appeal, whereas Julia or Bullock have predominantly female bases, and the Winslet types are basically character actors more than a draw on their own. Jolie can open big action HUGE, because she’s a credible “star” that men LIKE. In fact, she’s probably the only top-ranked female lead whose presence almost always signifies awesomeness, instead of “chick flick” or medicine.

  18. “On the other, there is the fact that at 35 she is a good decade past her prime.”

    Sorry to disappoint, DTG, but Jolie is eternally hot. Not to mention the greatest “female movie star” of our generation. In that she has across-the-board appeal, whereas Julia or Bullock have predominantly female bases, and the Winslet types are basically character actors more than a draw on their own. Jolie can open big action HUGE, because she’s a credible “star” that men LIKE. In fact, she’s probably the only top-ranked female lead whose presence almost always signifies awesomeness, instead of “chick flick” or medicine.

  19. The cover pic looks slightly ET – the eyes, the cheekbones, the mouth.

    Really, a pass or two with Photoshop and she’s a freakin’ Roswell grey.

    A smokin’ hot, yummy-mummy alien, but still Not of This Earth. She intrigues me.

  20. The cover pic looks slightly ET – the eyes, the cheekbones, the mouth.

    Really, a pass or two with Photoshop and she’s a freakin’ Roswell grey.

    A smokin’ hot, yummy-mummy alien, but still Not of This Earth. She intrigues me.

  21. On the one hand, she’s gorgeous, talented,and a loving mom.

    On the other hand, I could take her home to the wife and say, “Threesome?” and she’d say “Okay.”

  22. On the one hand, she’s gorgeous, talented,and a loving mom.

    On the other hand, I could take her home to the wife and say, “Threesome?” and she’d say “Okay.”

  23. pmn, humongous. Veritable Bugs Bunny clompers. The better to kick our collective asses with is my guess. And look at those toes. My lord. Giant. Like big, delicious unagi rolls. And those hands! Sooooo ungainly! Can she paddle a boat with them, I hear you asking? What about the uncomplicated giant white teeth? And the pelt she wears on her head? And the massive ears? Gods almight man, she’s either a giant rabbit or you’re looking at her on a 20′ screen!

  24. pmn, humongous. Veritable Bugs Bunny clompers. The better to kick our collective asses with is my guess. And look at those toes. My lord. Giant. Like big, delicious unagi rolls. And those hands! Sooooo ungainly! Can she paddle a boat with them, I hear you asking? What about the uncomplicated giant white teeth? And the pelt she wears on her head? And the massive ears? Gods almight man, she’s either a giant rabbit or you’re looking at her on a 20′ screen!

  25. Krillian’s post is actually the key to Jolie’s longevity and across the board appeal. People liken The Fox to AJ, but fact is women HATE The Fox but ALWAYS loved Jolie, even in the days when she was pitted against Jennifer Aniston, of all mainstream-pleasing celebs. Long as Jolie’s been in the spotlight, women were totally cool with her, in a semi-Sapphic-”I’d go lesbian for HER”-tough chick kind of way. Totally anecdotal, but I’ve never worked with, known, or dated a woman who didn’t dig Jolie…

    Strangely, the only arguments I’ve ever heard AGAINST Angie came from *dudes*; She has those distinctive, exotic, slightly over the top looks that woman can agree are beautiful, and any guy with taste is all about… But there’s a small percentage of guys who don’t “get” her or her looks, or are put off by her aggressive personality.

    But that still leaves tons and tons of male fans who both want to do her AND have mad respect for her as an awesome, charismatic actress who you CANNOT take your eyes off of. And maybe the only one who can do vamping, tough-chick action and seem credible, not have it seem like a put-on (Kate Beckinsale), gay camp (Charlie’s Angels), or overly butch (love Milla Jovovich, but the RE movies are pretty sexless and militaristic, increasingly so).

  26. Krillian’s post is actually the key to Jolie’s longevity and across the board appeal. People liken The Fox to AJ, but fact is women HATE The Fox but ALWAYS loved Jolie, even in the days when she was pitted against Jennifer Aniston, of all mainstream-pleasing celebs. Long as Jolie’s been in the spotlight, women were totally cool with her, in a semi-Sapphic-”I’d go lesbian for HER”-tough chick kind of way. Totally anecdotal, but I’ve never worked with, known, or dated a woman who didn’t dig Jolie…

    Strangely, the only arguments I’ve ever heard AGAINST Angie came from *dudes*; She has those distinctive, exotic, slightly over the top looks that woman can agree are beautiful, and any guy with taste is all about… But there’s a small percentage of guys who don’t “get” her or her looks, or are put off by her aggressive personality.

    But that still leaves tons and tons of male fans who both want to do her AND have mad respect for her as an awesome, charismatic actress who you CANNOT take your eyes off of. And maybe the only one who can do vamping, tough-chick action and seem credible, not have it seem like a put-on (Kate Beckinsale), gay camp (Charlie’s Angels), or overly butch (love Milla Jovovich, but the RE movies are pretty sexless and militaristic, increasingly so).

  27. Her feet rule, and “slightly bigger than average” (TM 500 Days of Summer) is almost always sexy on a beautiful woman. I’m not talking ridiculous Kate Winslet-Uma Thurman-sized big… but as a big-time leg man, most women with long, beautiful legs tend to have long, thin feet. Any chick with small feet is usually a dwarf with stubby legs.

  28. Her feet rule, and “slightly bigger than average” (TM 500 Days of Summer) is almost always sexy on a beautiful woman. I’m not talking ridiculous Kate Winslet-Uma Thurman-sized big… but as a big-time leg man, most women with long, beautiful legs tend to have long, thin feet. Any chick with small feet is usually a dwarf with stubby legs.

  29. @televisiontears: You’re better HE read than me. Kudos to Wells then. However, there have been stretches where he does quite the opposite and revels in that shit.

  30. @televisiontears: You’re better HE read than me. Kudos to Wells then. However, there have been stretches where he does quite the opposite and revels in that shit.

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  33. Angeline Jolie is not only a pretty woman, if not that she is so intelligent and with a sympathy difficult to compare, and precisely that is “the plus” she has to be considerate the sexiest woman across the world.

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