Believe It

This recently released trailer for Titanic 2: Electric Boogaloo is not a mash-up. It’s selling an actual, honest-to-God, straight-to-DVD movie about a second Titanic hitting a second iceberg. The stars are Bruce Davison and Brooke Burns. Okay, I’m kidding about the Boogaloo but everything else is genuine. Really.

Asylum will be releasing Titanic 2….wait, is it Titanic 2, Titanic II, or Titanic 2: The Asylum Version? Or Clash of the Titanics? Anyway, it’s out on 8.24.

HE takes its hat off to Titanic 2‘s director, screenwriter and costar Shane Van Dyke. He’s 30 years old, 6’3″ and the grandson of Dick Van Dyke and grand-nephew of Jerry Van Dyke. Making such a film and getting it distributed took balls of steel.

I was talking a while back about Kenneth Branagh throwing up each and every day in his hotel room during the making of Thor. Can you imagine what poor Bruce Davison must have been feeling during production?

The production reportedly used the Queen Mary in Long Beach so “play” the Titanic II or…you know, the actual ship.

24 thoughts on “Believe It

  1. bmcintire on said:

    ” Making such a film and getting it distributed took balls of steel.”

    I’m pretty sure the panel of chimps running Asylum come up with an idea, jot it down on a few napkins and offer it up to anyone desperate enough to take the work. No balls – and certainly none of steel – allowed or required.

  2. What the hell is it with every blog giving these assholes free press? I mean it’s obvious by now that Asylum and Seltzer-Friedberg and all the other no talent hacks that rip off/ “spoof” other movies aren’t going to go away until we just start ignoring them. They’re not real movies and they shouldn’t be covered as such.

  3. I kinda like this idea. A Dr. Who episode from a few years back offered a Titanic in space. Sorta like a Space Battleship Yamato but BBC nerdy. A “Titanic 2″ with a decent script and effects could be a nice homage to the original movie with a bit of Poseidon Adventure thrown in.

  4. Heh… I admit, I laughed *with* the trailer, not only at it. What a brilliantly stupid idea.

    I love all the corners cut with this, BTW– the obvious use of some basement for ship corridors (1:06… are those concrete walls?), the absolutely *abysmal* CGI (SyFy does better CGI these days in their Romanian movies, which is saying a lot), the terrible melodrama…

    Bruce Davison must have a drug habit.

  5. Wouldnt be funny if they tried for a theatrical release. Who knows, people might be curious to see it. What did they spend for the CGI? A buck fifty. Awful. How do you show up to work and film this thing? Bruce Davison gotta eat!

  6. You know, I’d really love someone to explain how they got the money for this movie. Seriously. Kevin Smith was just talking at Comic Con about the dearth of projects available due to financial problems, eyt this can get off the ground. HOW?

  7. Ray, because there are literally millions of idiots in the world who pick up Transmorphers 2 at Blockbuster and think “hot damn, I thought this was still in theaters”.

    Literally millions.

    Other Asylum titles:

    AVH (Alien vs. Hunter)

    The Day the Earth Stopped

    The Terminators

    Paranormal Entity

  8. I would rather watch this piece of shit on a continuous 24 loop for a week straight than watch ten minutes of that new Julia Robert’s mastubation aid masquerading as a movie.

  9. Ray, because there are literally millions of idiots in the world who pick up Transmorphers 2 at Blockbuster and think “hot damn, I thought this was still in theaters”.

    THAT is FUNNY and So……true! Ive been in Blockbuster and have seen people say that.

  10. Yeah, sure, it certainly took “balls of steel” to make this – in the sense that no one will ever take your career seriously again after helming this wank-fest. Then your 6’3 celebrity offspring self can settle into a life of deserved obscurity…

  11. This post reminds me of that Patton Oswalt bit about the screenwriter for Death Bed: The Bed That Eats People compared to his own nagging doubts as a screenwriter. He described days where he thought everything he wrote with shit and then imagined the screenwriter for Death Bed: The Bed That Eats people. Do you think he ever had doubts or did he think it was the best thing he’d ever written? Worse, what if he DID have doubts, knew what he was writing was terrible BUT SOLDIERED ON because he was simply that dedicated to finishing what he started.

  12. I saw a breakdown for this one some months ago, on Craigslist of all places.

    We all laughed and thought it was a really hilarious joke. Guess that showed me.

  13. Lots and lots of years ago, I attended the premiere of Galaxis (http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0113140/), a terrible sci-fi movie with Brigitte Nielsen and Richard Moll (!!). My boss had hired Galaxis’ director as VFX supervisor on another movie, so I was there in an official capacity to make nice and be supportive. Throughout the screening I was terrified about what to say, how to compliment this low-rent turkey.

    But at the end, I was shocked and gratified by the fact that the cast and crew were genuinely thrilled by their accomplishment. They knew they hadn’t made The Godfather, but it was done, they had done it and now it was in the hands of the world.

    Of course there are ripoffs and shameless-whore-cashgrabs in Hollywood, but movie-making’s magic on a bunch of different levels. It’s all supposed to be good fun.

  14. Certainly don’t have any Douglas Adams fans here, has everything listed so far beat by a good number of years: 1998 STARSHIP TITANIC.

    Too many digital watches distracting you guys I guess…

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