Fish Lips

I suffered last night on a Continental red-eye from LAX to Newark. 275-minute flight, 90 minutes to two hours of sleep, if that. Bulkhead seating, no legroom to speak of, wedged between two women…awful. On top of which they played The Last Song, a Miley Cyrus stinker (based on a Nicholas Sparks book) that opened last March to a 17% Rotten Tomatoes rating. I was at least able to decide on my own whether or not Cyrus has a “trout pout.” She does indeed.


Miley Cyrus in Disney’s lamentable The Last Song.
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39 thoughts on “Fish Lips”

  4. Yum. HUUUUUGE fan, love Miley, still sad I missed Last Song (should’ve taken up what’s-his-name here’s offer to see it free at his theater when it was on its way out), will BUY IT SIGHT UNSEEN on DVD because she is CHARMING, and the theme song puts me in a great mood and gets me through the night thinking of all my untapped potential and how AWESOME it would be if I moved to a North Carolina Nick Sparks beach town and met some COOL, sensitive 17, 18 year old girl in LITTLE OUTFITS but who is DEMURE and semi-virginal and she just wanted to go eat crawfish and hang out under a pier lying on my shoulder while we held hands and then there’d be a montage of fishing boats and she’d have some weird recluse relative who hadn’t come out of his/her shell since the death of their spouse, and I’d sit around in my FISHING CAP consoling them and my utter likability would bring them out of their shell and MILEY POWER would see how COOL I am.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8wxOVn99FTE&feature=avmsc2

    I may be 37 on the outside, but INSIDE I’m about 16 TOPS and I can never and will never accept that I’m some old-ass whose life has already passed him by… Inside I’m still waiting to go to the PROM and go to COLLEGE PARTIES where it’s some Dionysean orgy but I mostly date the DEMURE girls who wear flip flops and bite on their PENCILS and wear clunky glasses but only in SOME scenes, but they’re all sunny and fair-skinned and usually blonde but Miley Hair would be cool too and I could tug on her ear lobe or something.

    I should apply to be a college professor at an all-girls college, hopefully only tutoring the FRESHMAN class.

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  5. It’s always funny to read YouTube comments underneath Cyrus videos. Girls HATE her now she’s dared to bare a bit of flesh. Some of the venom that comes from these teenage former fans is incredible. “Slut,” “whore,” etc.

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  7. Lex, un-retire. It’s been slow without you.

    What was the subject of the Wells-LexG summit in LA lately? Potential regular column?

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  11. LexG, what’s with the blonde thing? I thought you prefer brunette like Kristen Stewart.

    As for Miley, she is not demure, if you seen her in the VMA up here in Toronto.

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  14. If you believe at all in karma, then perhaps the movie godz were sending a very clear message on Continental Flight 503 last night.

    @Lex – all Pixar is verboten yet a film widely known to be awful is a must-have DVD purchase? I guess just as alcoholics think everyone else is also a drunk, porn workers must view everything through a “can I wank to it?” prism.

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  16. I don’t really judge or disparage Lex’s taste in wom…er, females at all, but that was a pretty crisp zinger DtG just sent his way.

    I LoL’d for real.

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  24. Hmm… This thread didn’t catch on that well, so maybe it’s too late to also offer up that I thought “trout pout” only meant when a chick has obvious collagen to get her duck lips… Pretty sure Miley’s are naturally that way, so while the term might apply from the visual standby, unlikely a 17 year old girl has had work done to voluntarily make them like that, which is a key requirement for something being classified as “trout pout.”

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