Caution
What’s up with Clint Eastwood‘s Hereafter slated for only one public screening at the Toronto Film Festival (Visa Elgin, Sunday, 9.12 at 9 pm) and, according to Hitfix’s Gregory Ellwood, no scheduled press screenings at all? What’s the point of bringing a serious film by a respected, brand-name director to a big festival like Toronto and then taking steps to limit access?
I would suggest it was because the film wasn’t good, but that’s never stopped critics from gushing over Eastwood’s lesser efforts.
Plus this still (the only one released) is zzzzzz. Nothing could be more bland and whitebread than Bryce Dallas Howard and Matt Damon staring at each other in a shitty kitchen.
Could be they’re trying to limit its exposure before its closing night slot at the NYFF…
The Boring Identity.
Maybe it has something to do with NY fest?
Good question. When I was running through the press & industry sked Friday, I thought there had been a mistake (it must have a P&I screening, right?). But apparently not. The only other film I can think of this happening to was that Paris Hilton documentary (produced by Paris Hilton, starring Paris Hilton, etc.) that was a festival laughingstock a couple of years ago. They canceled all the screenings except one — and there were still seats left for that showing.
Lex is a skilled observer of Damon’s haircuts, but this latest effort is simply piss-poor. Look at it. Looks like he’s just been for a swim and towel-dried his hair briefly before driving home to consult Bryce about what’s for dinner. Perhaps later they’ll watch a little Food Network and have a cheeky glass of wine on a school night.
I was chucking to myself about Matt Damon’s authentic “tips head down at the end of a shower” hairdo, when I saw it–What’s up with BDH’s hair? Look at her shoulder–there is an extension just laying over it, not connected to her head in any way.
BDH: “Did you get the Glade Plug-Ins refills?”
MD: “Yup, here you go.”
BDH: “Renuzit Air Freshener Gel Pack’?! What IS this?!”
MD: “They were on sale.”
BDH: “But they aren’t COMPATIBLE with our Glade Plug-ins Warmer!”
Because everyone’s going to see it eventually, so who gives a fuck?
that’s the worst still ever, and features Damon’s worst hair since Stuck On You.
Bryce probably made him wear it.
“Just heading out to the farmer’s market, darling!”
“Are you wearing a sweater? It’s chilly out.”
“I’m wearing six of them. L.L. Bean was having a sale.”
Ray I was thinking that too. The extremely awkward fleece he’s wearing doesn’t help. He looks jacked enough for Expendables 2.
MD: “When are you gonna graduate already? It’s been six years and forty fucking thousand dollars! We’re flushing money down the toilet!”
BDH: “How dare you say that?! This is my dream!”
MD: “How can you get your massage therapy degree online? It doesn’t even make any sense!”
Mean Freaks: Both your posts hilarious. Kudos.
Eloi: Why stop now, let’s re-write this motherfucker.
Matt Damon is a substitute teacher/amateur boxer with a penchant for LL Bean.
Bryce Dallas Howard is a stay-at-home mom/aspiring massage therapist with a taste for White Zin.
Tin lunchpails ensue: Go!
And Woody Allen could be hired to redub the dialogue track.
Hell yeah!
This movie is sure to be the talk of the country club. If you’re 40+, white, American with a healthy income Clint Eastwood is your cinematic God.
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“Did you set the DVR to record Jamie’s Food Revolution?”
“Oh shoot, I forgot.”
“Sigh… it’s very straightforward. Just set up a recurring series schedule and it records every week.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay; I’m sure we can find it on Hulu.”
BDH: When was the last time we had sex?
MD: I dunno honey…was it that night Susan Boyle was a guest judge on Dancing with the Stars?
BDH: I think you’re right. That would’ve been what, seven, eight months ago?
MD: …
BDH: You know what? I don’t care. Not everything has to be sex sex sex all the time. As long as we’re happy, right?
MD: I’m so RELIEVED that you said that! I feel exactly the same way!
Gotta get in on this…
MD: What’s for dinner?
BDH: I was thinking of making that chicken casserole out of the new Cooking Light.
MD: Don’t forget we still have leftovers from your mother.
BDH: I had that for lunch, actually. Why don’t you take off a couple sweaters and turn on Project Runway?
MD: But you never use it.
BDH: Sure I do. Remember the English muffins with brie when your parents visited?
MD: That was, like, six months ago. Besides, you could have done those in the regular oven.
BDH: But it doesn’t take up THAT much space, and I like the color, there’s no color in here.
That unattached hair extension really is odd, and cannot be unseen once you notice it. That’s especially unfortunate, and baffling, if this really is the only still available.
OK, diminishing returns on the fake script idea, though some of those are damn funny. This movie could turn out to be interesting after all, but right now you’re just killing it!
LOOK at that still, Mizerock. It’s already dead. And honestly, you’re telling me you don’t want to know what happens when BDH tries to transition MD to a gluten-free diet? Impossible.
oh god people are TALKING
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