I Wish

This is the raptor seen in one of the micro-squares on that one-sheet for Terrence Malick‘s The Tree of Life. Would it be out of line to ask for a poster for a screaming Sean Penn and Brad Pitt being chased by a raptor, Jurassic Park-style? If anyone has the Photoshop ability and the time….well, obviously many people do. But do they give enough of a damn to work on it and send it along?

  • Eloi Wrath

    Looks more like one of those tiny dinosaurs from the opening of The Lost World. The ones that eat young Camilla Belle, who blossomed into a Lex-fave.

    Compsognathus. They then go on to eat Peter Stormare, and chew his face off. That bit was ace.

    The Lost World is kind of underrated. It’s pretty much relentlessly dark for a blockbuster, especially compared to the soaring first film. Just compare the Williams scores – the first, all memorable beautiful themes, the second all B-movie awesomeness. Williams POWER.

  • LexG

    Instead of dinosaurs, is it too much to hope there’s also a subplot in TREE OF LIFE where DMX and T.I try to corner the heroin market in bombed-out sun-scorched L.A., but they come up against an all-Armenian crew and half the movie is in Armenian then Korean with nonstop MAN ON FIRE style subtitles against a blaring soundtrack mashup of The Game and Cradle of Filth with surprise cameos by Chet Haze, Violent J, Fred Durst, Kevin Federline and Eamonn Walker as a Caribbean warlord who goes all Screwface in his downtown parking-garage/lair chainsawing off limbs with his right-hand man Noel Gugliemi?

    No? It’s just more white people in 1958 haircuts under blowing trees directed by a lost-in-his-head hippie who’s never spoken to a black man?

    Eh, cool.

  • BobbyLupo

    “who’s never spoken to a black man?”

    Of all the people on this site to read this into Mallick’s work, surely Lex is the most ironic.

  • reverent and free

    It does kind of look like the river in The Thin Red Line.

  • reverent and free

    Anyway, so there’s dinosaurs in Tree of Life. Great. We’ve been talking/speculating about the film for so long that I certainly want to see everything we’ve been speculating about.

  • Rashad

    So true Eloi. I like that it’s a straight up monster movie rather than an ethical adventure, though the first is still vastly superior.

  • http://moviebob.blogspot.com/ THE MovieBob

    Lost World and Temple of Doom are both kind of fascinating for what they suggest about Spielberg’s psyche – i.e. that his “phoning it in,” cash-in, pay-the-bills movies (you can probably put War of The Worlds in there, too) are ALSO his “mean n’ nasty” movies.

    To me, that says that his more known persona – the Peter Pan, all-loving, nicest-dude-on-Earth angle – is something he actively cultivates and “works at” as opposed to it being his default-setting. I forget who it was, but one of the “headier” critics back in the day once did a whole piece about how he felt certain projects “overseen” by Spielberg as producer could be viewed as outlets through which he vented his own darker, more cynical instincts (i.e. “Gremlins” and “Poltergiest” as the dark versions of “E.T.,” “Small Soldiers” as the subversive, anti-military “Ryan.”)

  • reverent and free

    The Lost world does contain some of Spielberg’s better set pieces. The scene where Julianne Moore is separated from a fall to her death only by a piece of cracking glass is terrific. Also the scene where raptors hunt down a bunch of goons in the tall grass.

  • dino velvet

    Eh? Isn’t Lost world the one where a little girl beats up a bunch of dinosaurs using gymnastics?

    Lex, good call on Eamonn Walker. Been watching Lights Out? Good to see he’s still bringing the intense-as-fuck sincerity from his Oz days

  • LexG

    Lights Out is the current awesomest show on TV. Especially Lights’s oldest daughter. YEP YEP. And yeah, that’s why Eamonn Walker was on my brain.

    Also: Camilla Belle is dreamy.

    On topic: Remember that movie BABY THE DINOSAUR or whatever? Mid 80s dinosaur movie with… William Katt? Anyway, wasn’t it one of those early PG-13 where it was basically a family movie, but it still had nudity in it? Man, talk about NOT HAVING THE QC DOWN back in the day: All those PG, PG-13 movies with fairly extensive nudity (Beastmaster, Sheena, Woman in Red.) If it was still 1984, movies like NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM or GULLIVER’S TRAVELS would have full frontal shots.

  • actionlover

    Points to Dino Velvet for slapping some sense into you mugs for suggesting “Lost World” was anything more than the shitty, phoned-in piece of shit that it was. Possibly one of the worst examples of “Kid Power!” to show up in a Spielberg movie. (i.e. “CD-ROM! I know CD-ROM!”)

    And yes, the glass scene was cool, but that was about it.

    Funny how even dinosaur fans had never even heard of Velociraptors until Crichton’s book.

  • Rashad

    I think we all know by now he directed Poltergeist.

    I don’t think you can group War of The Worlds with those other two movies. That was the Beard in top form, using the invasion as a comment on politics (here terrorism) like the old alien invasion movies were about communism. He was real interested in making that and Munich a one-two that deals with the same subject from two different perspectives.

  • DarthCorleone

    I’ll give you that Lost World has a few great moments, but they are FAR outweighed by its preponderance of sheer awfulness. Maybe if that abominable third act in San Diego didn’t exist, the movie would have been tolerable. As is, it is lightweight and nowhere close to truly dark Spielberg. He has injected that underrated cynical streak of his into other films far more effectively over the past fifteen years.

  • LexG

    I like Lost World better than Jurassic Park. None of that EMBARRASSING aw-shucks GAPING-MOUTH WONDER at the Dinosaurs! from Neill and those stupid kids… Just action and Nirvana from Death Wish 2 and Vaughn back when he weighed under 275 and that AWESOME cut from Camilla screaming to Goldblum yawning in the subway.

    Yeah, the daughter is ANNOYING in every way, down to Spielberg’s whole disingenuous United Colors of Benetton liberalism– Jeff Goldblum has a BLACK KID! But by never commenting on that fact, we’re showing how color blind the world really is! (Except for the 99.999999% of the world who watched the movie and with no malice or prejudice whatsoever but still quietly wondered, “Wait, why does Jeff Goldblum have a black kid?”)

  • alynch

    What I recall most about Lost World is Vince Vaughn not only letting a bunch dinosaurs out of their cages, but then stealing the bullets out of Pete Postlethwaite’s gun to prevent him from killing a T-Rex, yet the film was somehow presenting him as a good guy, and not a moron who deserved to die horrifically.

  • Markj74

    LexG said: “and that AWESOME cut from Camilla screaming to Goldblum yawning in the subway.”

    It’s actually the mother that screams but yeah, awesome cut. Lost World looks more impressive today than it did back in ’97, that’s for sure. 2 T-Rex/trailer hanging off cliff/Julianne Moore on splintering glass/skidding jeep/Toby from West Wing interface is an incredible 10 minutes of cinema, culminating in that awesome Williams cue where Moore struggles to reach the top of the cliff and Postlethwaite’s hand suddenly enters frame to help her.

  • actionlover

    The problem with Goldblum’s black daughter is that they cast an actress who’s really REALLY super-black. Like, Zimbabwe black. Most black couples in the U.S. wouldn’t have a child with such dark pigmentation, much less a couple where one of the parents is a pasty white Jew.

    Unless she was adopted, of course. But if I recall she’s supposed to be his natural daughter.

    Of course none of that really matters…what matters is she was able to defeat the dinosaurs by using her gymnastic skills! Yay!

  • gazer

    Mr. Wells ought to know the film itself is not to blame for all the hype, anticipation and distorted approach, but that he himself creates what he’ll eventually come to “deconstruct;” who was it that went on about the then rumored dino’s that were supposed to appear in the film, and who had this fetish with the them and their part in the film? Who connoted any Jurassic Park comparisons here? And now he has to ridicule it, or more rightly himself, for having started out this way. Yet he forgets one important thing: it’s all about you, Jeff. This premature rant of yours, sight unseen, is simply pathetic.

  • Mr. Palmer

    LIGHTS OUT cancelled.

  • Bob Violence

    Funny how even dinosaur fans had never even heard of Velociraptors until Crichton’s book.

    Although plenty of them had heard of deionychus, which is what Crichton was really describing and was instrumental to the warm-bloodedness/bird evolution theories — actual velociraptors were about the size of large chickens and aren’t especially interesting

  • Eloi Wrath

    The weirdest thing about Vince Vaughn in The Lost World is that his character disappears before the final act without any explanation. One minute he’s on the phone calling for help, and the next you don’t see him again for the remainder of the film. It’s like even Spielberg got bored of his character and couldn’t even be bothered to film a scene with him being airlifted to safety or eaten or anything. Just abandons him and hopes the audience doesn’t notice.

    The broken glass set piece is great.

  • JLC

    So….since this may premiere at Cannes and you will get to see it before anyone else, does that mean it’s okay to look forward to it again? Or are you still not “a fan?”

  • JLC

    Re: Velociraptors and Deinonychus.

    Yeah, I think that Crichton used the name of the former, knowing they were the size of chickens, because “Raptor” is the cooler name. Even funnier was that, as I recall, they found the fossil of a six-foot Raptor in China not long after the movie came out. “See? We weren’t making it up!”

  • markj

    LexG said: “and that AWESOME cut from Camilla screaming to Goldblum yawning in the subway.”

    It’s actually the mother that screams but yeah, awesome cut. Lost World looks more impressive today than it did back in ’97, that’s for sure. 2 T-Rex/trailer hanging off cliff/Julianne Moore on splintering glass/skidding jeep/Toby from West Wing interface is an incredible 10 minutes of cinema, culminating in that awesome Williams cue where Moore struggles to reach the top of the cliff and Postlethwaite’s hand suddenly enters frame to help her.

  • Bob Violence

    Even funnier was that, as I recall, they found the fossil of a six-foot Raptor in China not long after the movie came out.

    The largest known velociraptors are still less than two feet tall — they did discover a much larger raptor (Utahraptor) the year after the book came out, but Crichton went so far as to identify his raptors by their species name, so that’s not really an out.

  • Eloi Wrath

    They half-address the Raptor thing in the early scenes of the first one. That fat kid goes “That doesn’t look very scary, kinda like a big turkey.” Sam Neill then drops some science knowledge and sets him straight.

    They also invented the neck-flap things and venom-spitting for the Dilophosaurus.

    I can pretty much recite the entire of Jurassic Park. All the nerds in their 30s cite Star Wars as their life-changing movie they grew up on, but for me it was Jurassic Park. I bet there was a whole generational boost in students studying paleontology as a result of that movie. Awesome stuff, and the CGI remains outstanding even today.

  • JLC

    Nice paleontology-geekery there, Eloi, and I mean that in the best way. As a teen, I had the same reaction to sharks and Jaws. The summer of 1975, I could tell you anything you wanted to know about sharks, even though I lived in Indiana farm country.

    The thing that bothered me most about the science in Jurassic Park was the whole T-Rex movement-based vision thing. In the book, Grant discovers it by accident. In the movie, he knows it just by looking at the fossils, which was plainly impossible.

  • reverent and free

    Bill Watterson featured a Deinonychus in Calvin and Hobbes long before Jurassic Park came out.

  • Rashad

    I’m sure any faults in the actual science, can be attributed to the mix it with amphibian DNA.

    I agree with Eloi. Jurassic Park is why I like movies. It’s perfect.

  • Mark
  • Edward

    Dude! Whoa, that’s some good weed.

  • TimDG

    AWESOME! TOTALLY AWESOME! Way to go, Mark.

  • mizerock

    That is not current-day Sean Penn and thus not what Jeff was looking for. At all.

    Instead, it’s hilarious. Awesome, I love it!

  • Krillian

    I’d read the book Lost World first, and it was the most cynical cash-in book sequel I’ve ever read. So I was for the most part pleased with the movie since Spielberg changed so much from the book for the better.

    For instance, the movie had two kids stow away. A white girl and a black boy. Spielberg combined them into one kid. Also the villain from the book was a “ruthless geneticist.” I’ve never forgotten that phrase.

  • LexG

    The best Sean Penn to photoshop into this would be the mugging Sean Penn of WE’RE NO ANGELS. With the blonde hair and the priest costume.

    Come to think of it, Penn should do every movie like that from here out. The Johansson-banging lucky bastard.

  • Eloi Wrath

    Krillian: The funniest bit about Crichton’s sequel is that he killed off Ian Malcolm in the first book, only to resurrect him for the second with some story about how Costa Rican surgeons magically saved his life, presumably because Goldblum’s portrayal of the character was so popular.

  • CitizenKaned4Life

    “It’s actually the mother that screams but yeah, awesome cut. Lost World looks more impressive today than it did back in ’97, that’s for sure. 2 T-Rex/trailer hanging off cliff/Julianne Moore on splintering glass/skidding jeep/Toby from West Wing interface is an incredible 10 minutes of cinema, culminating in that awesome Williams cue where Moore struggles to reach the top of the cliff and Postlethwaite’s hand suddenly enters frame to help her.”

    That’s going to be nothing compared to Super 8.

    Come June, Abrams gonna own your ass, markj (should be the tagline).

  • TimDG

    Mark’s image is good, but Jeff said he wanted Penn AND Pitt, so I did some editing:

    http://s132.photobucket.com/albums/q26/typhoonspit/?action=view&current=pennpittgeef.gif

  • CitizenKaned4Life

    ^And we have our masterpiece.

  • Mark

    Ahhh, just saw this. Collaboration!!

  • CitizenKaned4Life

    Yes, indeedy! :)

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