“I Take Thee, Baldie…”

I thought and thought and thought about it, and decided it was better, no disrespect, to get the sleep rather than wake up at 2:30 or 3 am Pacific to catch Prince William and Kate Middleton’s marriage ceremony. Congratulations and best wishes to the happy couple.

On their own terms and in the minds and hearts of the principals, all weddings are joyous and hopeful events that everyone feels very good about, myself included. I was married in Paris at a small Catholic church called St. Julien le Pauvre in October 1987, and it was quite perfect all around. But this one, from a public standpoint, is of course a matter of some tabloid conjecture and fantasy.

From my 4.19 assessment: “The wedding will be a celebration of an exceptionally lame fantasy that tens of millions of under-educated, Sex and the City-worshipping, Star magazine-reading women the world over hold extremely dear, which is that they might one day luck into marrying an exceptionally rich guy from a rich and powerful family and live a life of fabulous, mostly thoughtless leisure for the rest of their lives. And have kids who will enjoy the same luxuries and get to to do the same thing as adults-with-their-own-kids when they come of age.”

  • JLC

    “fabulous, mostly thoughtless leisure”

    Whatever else you can say about this, that part is certainly a fantasy. Princess Kate just got one of the most demanding jobs in Britain. My gut feeling, though, is that she will ultimately end up the most popular Royal since the Queen Mum. At least she knows what she’s getting into, with no blinders on.

  • Jeffrey Wells

    It’s a great and stirring gig if you can get it, and I’m sure Kate and William will do what they can to bring thoughtfulness and social concern to their royal duties, but c’mon…they’re essentially going to be ceremonial cruisers for the rest of their lives….showhorses with a guaranteed income and summer sojourns in Balmoral.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Balmoral_Castle

  • raygo

    A Hilton or a Trump lives a life of fabulous, mostly thoughtless leisure. The life of a royal doesn’t seem so leisurely. Luxurious, yes.

  • Glenn Kenny

    Well, you really did put that issue to bed back on 4.19, didn’t you? Amazing anyone bothered to tune in after that. But seriously, I don’t know why you even bother to post on this topic, unless you’ve just got this reflexive thing about asserting your superiority to everyone who enjoys things you don’t. Really Jeff, after all this time, we get it, and you’re not right.

    But since you brought it up, on the topic of a “life of fabulous, almost thoughtless leisure:” that old broad who’s Baldie’s grandmother apparently had to show up at something like 380 public events in the last year, a year subsisting of somewhat fewer than 380. Fuck if that doesn’t sound like a JOB to me, and one I personally wouldn’t fancy. And recall that the broad is well past retirement age. Just saying.

  • JLC

    Maybe. But William and Kate’s job, as it is with all the Royals, is essentially to act as living theme park characters inhabiting tourist attractions like Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace. So they will be under a microscope every time they leave that cocoon. Plus, because they’ve been so public, I think the demands on them to be open and available will be immense. I wouldn’t wish that life on my worst enemy.

  • Glenn Kenny

    “somewhat fewer than 380 days, ” I meant. Fuck me.

  • MickTravisMcGee

    Classy headline. I guess he should’ve dieted or exercised so he wouldn’t lose his hair.

  • Ray DeRousse

    Is there a solid, reasonable explanation why the British people give the Royals millions of dollars a year to live in a castle and occasionally wave to people?

  • filmsofdusts

    Off with their heads.

    And, fuck Glenn Kenny to a deep layer of hell.

  • Movie Watcher

    Royal Wedding over…back to reality.

  • The Diesel

    I think Harry was blessed with all of the royal hair. No pun intended…

  • lbeale

    Bread and circuses. In an era when a Conservative government is determined to downsize everything and cut the social safety net, this kind of arrogant display from an anachronistic institution is nothing less than obscene.

    Eliminate the fucking monarchy.

  • longrunner

    Why are you so obsessed with his hair? Jesus. Take a look in the mirror once in a while, LOL!

  • Krillian

    Why do you hate bald people? It’s genetic.

  • Dan Revill

    The bald hair was Diana’s fault!

  • Movie Watcher

    Speaking of outdated things, the space shuttle was supposed to take off but it was delayed

    William will be bald in five years.

  • Glenn Kenny

    Wow. Pretty hostile there. Does “filmofdusts” even believe in hell?

  • Floyd Thursby

    “I don’t know why you even bother to post on this topic, unless you’ve just got this reflexive thing about asserting your superiority to everyone who enjoys things you don’t.”

    Let’s just be thankful he ignores sports.

  • Mr. Muckle

    Patrick Stewart made British baldness cool forever.

    But the British obsession with tradition, ceremony, and class, seems depressingly bizarre to a free ‘murican. Man, those buildings, cars, carriages, and outfits are grand, though.

  • taikwan

    kudos to Muckle – and Patrick Stewart cite. He did indeed.

    I bought it. Waitey-Katie and all. Don’t care how it’s triivilaized by the cynics – it’s history. And having the wedding take place at the site of Diana’s funeral (although Westminister Abbey has been around for centuries) is sad/brave at the same time. Replacing a tragic memory with a happy one.

    My favorite: the natural, non-rehearsed and obvious brotherly love between William and Harry.

    Someone did something very right in the brief time allotted.

  • http://ondietday.com/ Best Diet Plan

    I’m a wholesome diet regime fan, I am positive the Best Diet Plan is the best, I prefer it really significantly. If you’d like to turn into more slender fine? So hurriedly action! The Acai Berry Diet retailer possess a lot of healthful diet program products for you to pick. Such as Meizitang Botanical Slim.

  • http://www.shoxmarket.com/ shox r4

    Ideals are like the stars—-we never reach them, but like mariners, we chart our course by them . Our shox shoes store online tell you one Meaningful words, I hope you can like it.By Nike Shox Qualify

  • prefabrik ev fiyatlari

    has been around for centuries) is sad/brave at the same time. Replacing a tragic memory with a happy one.

    kabin

    prefabrik fiyatları

  • prefabrik evler

    has been around for centuries) is sad/brave at the same time. Replacing a tragic memory with a happy one.

    kabin
    prefabrik fiyatları

  • prefabrik ev fiyatlari

    There are a few scenes of him showing Monroe various tourist attractions and then watching

  • prefabrik evler

    There are a few scenes of him showing Monroe various tourist attractions and then watching

  • http://www.kursistem.com/seo.html seo optimizasyon

    seo optimizasyonu are you hosting technolojies is a teacher seo optimizasyon

  • prefabrik ev fiyatlari

    I am positive the Best Diet Plan is the best, I prefer it really significantly.

    konut projeleri

  • prefabrik ev fiyatlari

    The Acai Berry Diet retailer possess a lot of healthful diet program products for you to pick

  • http://megavet.com.tr veteriner

    n this issue would be the following people in your feedback akalalı themselves primarily with the subject without knowing himself what yapacağı

    nıda bilemessin bilmeleridir bazaen very bunalıyorum I believe sometimes I do not do anything beşke bunaltmaktan in if you are not a large problem but it’s got to be a large kendindedir

  • http://anxiety-in-children.org/ michael129
  • http://www.prefabrikevler.com.tr prefabrik

    I like your sharing.It’s very intersting and different…

  • http://www.kursistem.com web tasar?m

    You the best quality web design, Information technologies is Kursistem.
    Our web designs, hosting, seo optimizatio
    Web Tasarım

  • http://furkampimapen.com pimapens

    Good news for those who use the windows use windows systems replace the brand-new windows systems no longer your side