“I Take Thee, Baldie…”

I thought and thought and thought about it, and decided it was better, no disrespect, to get the sleep rather than wake up at 2:30 or 3 am Pacific to catch Prince William and Kate Middleton’s marriage ceremony. Congratulations and best wishes to the happy couple.

On their own terms and in the minds and hearts of the principals, all weddings are joyous and hopeful events that everyone feels very good about, myself included. I was married in Paris at a small Catholic church called St. Julien le Pauvre in October 1987, and it was quite perfect all around. But this one, from a public standpoint, is of course a matter of some tabloid conjecture and fantasy.

From my 4.19 assessment: “The wedding will be a celebration of an exceptionally lame fantasy that tens of millions of under-educated, Sex and the City-worshipping, Star magazine-reading women the world over hold extremely dear, which is that they might one day luck into marrying an exceptionally rich guy from a rich and powerful family and live a life of fabulous, mostly thoughtless leisure for the rest of their lives. And have kids who will enjoy the same luxuries and get to to do the same thing as adults-with-their-own-kids when they come of age.”

34 thoughts on ““I Take Thee, Baldie…”

  1. “fabulous, mostly thoughtless leisure”

    Whatever else you can say about this, that part is certainly a fantasy. Princess Kate just got one of the most demanding jobs in Britain. My gut feeling, though, is that she will ultimately end up the most popular Royal since the Queen Mum. At least she knows what she’s getting into, with no blinders on.

  2. It’s a great and stirring gig if you can get it, and I’m sure Kate and William will do what they can to bring thoughtfulness and social concern to their royal duties, but c’mon…they’re essentially going to be ceremonial cruisers for the rest of their lives….showhorses with a guaranteed income and summer sojourns in Balmoral.


  3. A Hilton or a Trump lives a life of fabulous, mostly thoughtless leisure. The life of a royal doesn’t seem so leisurely. Luxurious, yes.

  4. Well, you really did put that issue to bed back on 4.19, didn’t you? Amazing anyone bothered to tune in after that. But seriously, I don’t know why you even bother to post on this topic, unless you’ve just got this reflexive thing about asserting your superiority to everyone who enjoys things you don’t. Really Jeff, after all this time, we get it, and you’re not right.

    But since you brought it up, on the topic of a “life of fabulous, almost thoughtless leisure:” that old broad who’s Baldie’s grandmother apparently had to show up at something like 380 public events in the last year, a year subsisting of somewhat fewer than 380. Fuck if that doesn’t sound like a JOB to me, and one I personally wouldn’t fancy. And recall that the broad is well past retirement age. Just saying.

  5. Maybe. But William and Kate’s job, as it is with all the Royals, is essentially to act as living theme park characters inhabiting tourist attractions like Windsor Castle and Buckingham Palace. So they will be under a microscope every time they leave that cocoon. Plus, because they’ve been so public, I think the demands on them to be open and available will be immense. I wouldn’t wish that life on my worst enemy.

  6. Is there a solid, reasonable explanation why the British people give the Royals millions of dollars a year to live in a castle and occasionally wave to people?

  7. Bread and circuses. In an era when a Conservative government is determined to downsize everything and cut the social safety net, this kind of arrogant display from an anachronistic institution is nothing less than obscene.

    Eliminate the fucking monarchy.

  8. Speaking of outdated things, the space shuttle was supposed to take off but it was delayed

    William will be bald in five years.

  9. “I don’t know why you even bother to post on this topic, unless you’ve just got this reflexive thing about asserting your superiority to everyone who enjoys things you don’t.”

    Let’s just be thankful he ignores sports.

  10. Patrick Stewart made British baldness cool forever.

    But the British obsession with tradition, ceremony, and class, seems depressingly bizarre to a free ‘murican. Man, those buildings, cars, carriages, and outfits are grand, though.

  11. kudos to Muckle – and Patrick Stewart cite. He did indeed.

    I bought it. Waitey-Katie and all. Don’t care how it’s triivilaized by the cynics – it’s history. And having the wedding take place at the site of Diana’s funeral (although Westminister Abbey has been around for centuries) is sad/brave at the same time. Replacing a tragic memory with a happy one.

    My favorite: the natural, non-rehearsed and obvious brotherly love between William and Harry.

    Someone did something very right in the brief time allotted.

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