Not Her Place

This is going to sound funny, but there are actresses and other very attractive women who easily or naturally associate with the beach-blanket bikini bingo world, and there are those who personality-wise or spiritually-speaking don’t quite seem to belong in that realm. Emma Stone, no offense, belongs in the latter category. She’s all about spirit, eyes, pizazz, snap. And she’s not a blonde. And The Help looks like trouble.

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69 thoughts on “Not Her Place”

  1. She’s a pretty damn good looking girl. Not sure she needs to do cheesecake stuff tho. I guess all the young American actresses do nowadays. Totally agree on The Help. Strictly MOR, play it safe, inspirational crap. Could be wrong, but that trailer is deadly.

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  3. That looks more like a MAXIM cover than a Vanity Fair. Emma Stone is great in the John Hughes-ish “Easy A”.

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  5. I can unequivocally agree with Jeff here: she’s NOT a blonde, red agrees with her so much more.

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  11. She’s a wonderful actress and seems really smart, so of course Hollywood will force her to pose in her underwear and do stupid romantic comedies until, if she’s lucky, she gets a role on a smart cable series.

    It’s sad for women.

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  13. My first thought when I saw the picture (but before I read what Jeff said about it): “Boy, she looks really weird in that picture.” I completely agree. She looks too predatorial; not enough wholesomeness.

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  14. Blonde is the absolute lowest on my personal hair color scale (even below the dreaded “green” and “pink”). Well, okay, it’s above gray.

    I was going to say something mean about this cover, but I think I’ll just keep it to myself. It’s not her fault she was photographed/airbrushed so poorly here.

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  18. There’s been like five beautiful redheads in the entire history of the world. Every girl ever with blonde hair who is skinny is considered hot.

    Winner? The KING OF ALL FEMALE HAIR COLORS, yes, BLONDE.

    BOW.

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  19. Neither Whiteley nor Stewart is blonde.

    You must either retract your above statement, or accept the fact that you have vastly overrated these two incredibly mediocre-looking chicks.

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  20. Oh, Jesus, I was gonna try and behave for the sake of Televisiontears, but Kaned’s gotta go do the one thing– the ONE THING– I can’t ever let slide– dissing K-Stew.

    First off, rocket scientist, K-Stew in Cutlass, In the Land of Women = BLONDE. Not like she’s some raven-haired brunette anyway, she has light brown hair that could be described as ‘dirty blonde.” But she’s been blonde, she looks good blonde, and she is the most beautiful woman of all time. Huntington-Whiteley IS blonde, what are you TALKING about? Plus I love brunettes too– The Fox, Roberts, Hathaway, Portman, Kunis.

    I said there aren’t many hot redheads. Let’s see who we’ve got:

    Hmm, Emma Stone who isn’t a redhead, she’s a blonde, then Lohan (looks hotter blonde), Kate Mara, Isla Fisher, and ARGUABLY grandma Amy Adams. That is it. Redheads go down whiffing.

    Compare that to the YELLOW HOSTESS CUPCAKE BLONDE MAJESTY of the Fannings, Amber Heard, Amanda Seyfried, Blakey as I call her now, Taylor Momsen, Katie Cassidy, Moretz, Teresa Palmer, Jessica Alba in the Fantastic Four, Jolie in 60 Seconds, and the fact that ALL GUYS EVER know that BLONDE is the best.

    The best thing about doing a blonde chick (or in my case, getting a lapdance from one) is you know she’s Caucasian.

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  21. I saw The Help. Dreamworks certainly isn’t hiding it. It’s screened a bazillion times. It’s not my cup of tea but it’s a hundred million dollar grossing crowd pleaser.

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  22. Clearly LexG has NEVER had the pleasure of being with a natural redhead (dyed doesn’t count). Or probably a blonde for that matter..

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  24. Wait…are we talking about who looks good in a certain color, or about an actresses’ NATURAL color? Because there have been a ton of young chicks that have been at their absolute BEST as gingers — ScarJo, ERW, Lively, etc.

    Anyway, I don’t know…I don’t spend hours of my day thinking about this kind of thing, so whatever. However, I do know for a fact that Rosie HW is a natural brunette — this is non-negotiable. Don’t even try to argue it, you will lose all the follicle credibility and goodwill you’ve built up here over the years.

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  25. “The best thing about doing a blonde chick (or in my case, getting a lapdance from one) is you know she’s Caucasian.”

    OK, that belongs on some sort of LexG top ten list.

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  26. Straight guys are hard to figure out. I think she looks beautiful in the photo and I’m as gay as they get! Having said that, whoever styled her hair should be sent back to beauty school. Fail!

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  27. Scarlett is way better as a blond. Give me that bright ultra sexy The Island look over the Williamsburg disaffected hipster of Lost in Translation

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  29. Lohan does NOT look better as a blonde. No fucking way. Forget it. Don’t make me repost my diatribe about how Lohan’s whole druggy-drinky career nosedive is partially–if not mostly–about karmic punishment over the sacrilege of ruining the perfection that was Mean Girls Lohan. The red hair, the blooming, bursting body; it may not be Lex’s taste, but fuck Lex. He has too many wacky personal issues to trust in any way when it comes to objectively judging a woman’s appeal. How is his viewpoint on the matter at all trustworthy when he himself admits to not having been laid with an actual female person since the Clinton administration?

    To sum up: Lohan, red, big-chested = yes. Lex, bald, hairy-palmed = no.

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  31. Abbey Normal, get the legend right, please:

    I haven’t touched a (non-stripper) woman since first-term W. Bush. I haven’t had a FIRST DATE since 1997, ie the Clinton Administration.

    As a semi-related opportunity to DELIGHT THE MASSES with my writing skills, all are free to enjoy my MEMOIRS, including one about me trying to get an HJ from a blonde cougar in 1996.

    I should be paid to write, somewhere:

    http://thelexdiaries.blogspot.com/

    (sample #3)

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  33. Redheads are less common than blondes and brunettes. That’s part of what makes them so attractive. Also, come on. Red hair.

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  34. How in the hell does this cover work for The Help?

    I really like Emma Stone. This is a damn mistake. Who the hell is she taking advice from? This is not who she is!

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  37. This is a GENUINELY PRESSING ISSUE:

    Are newsstand copies going to have a big white empty space for an address label right there where here foot is in the lower corner???

    WHY do they do that?

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  38. Inadvertently, the editors at VF created an arresting-and novel- bikini babe for their cover.

    Men learn that pretty girls with spirit, style, eyes, depth, don’t do beach-blanket bikini bingo cover shoots.

    Now, if in fact Emma Stone is indeed “all about spirit, eyes, pizazz, snap” (regrettably, I know zero about her), then this VF cover accomplishes something noteworthy.

    The blending of ass and spirit, bikini and soulful eyes, and cheap pin-up with a young woman of substance.

    In certain circles, this blending of sex and spirit represents the ultimate erotic truth.

    Her cover says, ” Look closer at me, my eyes, and my bikini, and you’ll experience eternity.”

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  39. One name ends this discussion if redheads are hot or not:

    Christina Hendricks.

    Of course, her type scares the living shit out of guys like Lex….

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  40. “Of course, her type scares the living shit out of guys like Lex….”

    You mean blowsy and 40? Yeah, that type isn’t for me.

    Also: What is WITH this Nobu guy, aka the yoga guy from a month or so again? Where does HE *get* these people?

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  41. The best thing about doing a blonde chick (or in my case, getting a lapdance from one) is you know she’s Caucasian.

    Mary J Blige, Beyonce, Alfre Woodard during the late-90s, and Lil Kim when she was still cute circa 97.

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  43. I know her very well she is Easy A star girl and she has been cast in spiderman reboot. In easy a she performed extremely wonderful and that was superb movie and a biggest hit of 2010. Now I m just waiting for some new movies of her and in this pic above she is looking super hot. Really love her so much.

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  44. Lex is right. Blondes have magic that cannot be denied.

    But also, true hot redheads are SPECTACULAR. And so damn rare; there seems to be no middle ground when it comes to true redheads. They are either blazing hot, or share a close resemblance to Eric Stoltz’s Rocky in MASK.

    It is WRITTEN.

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  45. LexG is clearly intimidated by anything with a “vag (his term, not mine) and a brain,” so of course he is only going to lust after the bimbets of the world.

    LexG: That blog is epic. Consider this my last dig. I’m a believer.

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  47. “Are newsstand copies going to have a big white empty space for an address label right there where here foot is in the lower corner???”

    no, vf is sent in a plastic mailer to subscribers…no labels on cover…

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  48. The NextBigThing is a nothing. This photo looks nothing like her. nada. If it did, she would look like she does – like a trasvestite. And the one thing she did not pull off in EASY A was being a teen.

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    Bingo. And yes, it has great atmosphere and Rockwell is entertaining, but it’s such a conglomeration of ideas into something that means very little. Atmospheric and photographed beautifully, yes — but I’m sick of hearing about how brilliant it is

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