New “Greedo Shoots First”?

I only suffered once through Return of the Jedi (although I’ve watched pieces of it since on laser disc and DVD), but I remember the finale pretty clearly, and I’ll bet at least $1000 that the version I saw at Loew’s Astor Plaza in June 1983 didn’t have Darth Vader going “noooo!…no!” when the Emperor is zapping Luke at the climax.

I haven’t seen the forthcoming Jedi Bluray, and for all I know the clip below (a portion of the original mixed with an alleged audio recording from the Bluray Jedi ) is a phony. So let’s hold off for now. But if the Bluray does have the “noooo!,” watch out.

“It’s hard to believe this because Vader crying ‘Noooo!’ was one of the most widely derided aspects of Revenge of the Sith,” explains Badass Digest‘s Devin Faraci . “It’s easy to believe because George Lucas is so out of touch and loves the idea of on-the-nose symmetry between the two trilogies.

“What is purported to be an audio recording of the scene has hit the web, and someone has timed it to the original scene in Jedi so that you can get a sense of how this supposedly works. I’ve embedded that below. It’s actually two ‘No’s, and it doesn’t sound exactly like the one from Sith, but similar.”

  • arispil

    Obviously he never uttered NOO, much less anything, in the original version.

  • Zach

    The “NOOOO!” at the end of Sith was a perfect way to end the prequel trilogy. Icing on the cake.

    This, however, is sickening. I wouldn’t put it past Lucas. He added a scream in the ’97 Empire SE when Luke fell down the chasm after losing his hand (which, to his credit, he removed in the subsequent versions).

  • Rashad

    The no in Sith was the only thing to mar that entire end montage. This no sucks but the Obi Wan Krayt dragon cry is worse. At least it’s only a minor deal.

  • reverent and free

    After replacing Sebastian Shaw with Hayden Christensen (which makes no more sense than replacing Alec Guiness with Ewan McGreggor) , or replacing Han’s best line in ROTJ “trust me” with “I can see a lot better now”, there’s not much left in ROTJ to screw up, so why not?

    If you’re going to change/cut lines, why not get rid of Han’s awful line “Luke?! Is that who you could tell!?” Maybe for the 40th anniversary edition Lucas can replace the Ewok’s with CGI killer Wookies, or throw Jabba overboard into the Sarlac pit.

  • Krillian

    If this is real….

    Time for The People vs. George Lucas II.

  • Zach

    According to Devin’s update, this is indeed real. Wow.

  • actionlover

    (just to go simple here…..)

    Why doesn’t the Emperor, (if he’s so bad ass), kill Luke with one quick zap? He tells him to die, then starts zapping him for several seconds…enough time for Darth to think about it, then decide to pick him up and toss him down that shaft. And Luke’s okay.

    Kind of a weak-ass electo-zapper thing the Emperor has.

  • Baron Munchausen-by-Proxy

    Sounds like he added a scream to the Emperor too, reminiscent of the added-then-removed Luke whiny scream when he went down the shaft in ESB – tho I admit I’m hazy on this point (and *at* this point with Lucas).

    Bet that Luke scream is added back. For more “symmetry”. Jesus.

  • SpinDozer

    ‘Kind of a weak-ass electo-zapper thing the Emperor has.’

    When you get older you’ll understand.

  • BobbyLupo

    I always laugh at the shot where he’s lifting the Emperor up and the Emperor doesn’t even react, he just keep firing straight forward. It’s just so goofy, it looks like a toy.

    This change represents a new low in pedantic complaining about George Lucas changing Star Wars.

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  • Krillian

    If George Lucas owned Psycho, Janet Leigh would stab first.

  • reverent and free

    Actionlover, I think we’re supposed to assume he’s taking his sweet time torturing him with non lethal blasts. Hence why just 8 seconds are enough to kill Vader.

  • http://www.incontention.com Kristopher Tapley

    BobbyLupo FTW!

  • http://www.imagineutopia.com imagineUtopia

    nobody should buy this but they will. this should be the end of it.

    fuck off with this shit. this should tank along with trying to release the phantom menace in 3D. who in the fuck would pay to sit down and do that?

  • Mathew Meyerotto

    A recent Wired article has a quote by Irvine Kershnir comparing Empire to rest of the series(paraphrased): “…the other films are comic books, Empire is a fairy tale…”. I think that Lucas respects Empire enough that he tinkers with it the least. Adding in Vader’s cry here just makes ROTJ more of a comic book.

  • Mr. F.

    While geeks can complain about this release… at least they can rewatch their X-Men DVD extras and enjoy leaning about Jennifer Lawrence’s NUDE makeup process.

  • Abbey Normal

    Oh Christ! Unbelievable. When I saw RotS in the theater, I was in the throes of convulsive laughter during the “NOOOOO!” And Lucas wanted to REPEAT it?? It’s the single most embarrassing moment from all the prequels in my view, and that is saying something. My friends and I literally laughed for hours about it.

    He may as well have Jar Jar pass a bong to an Ewok during the victory party on Endor. What a tremendous tool Lucas is.

  • jery

    To paraphrase The Dude: ‘Everything is fucking travesty with Lucas, man!”. This was always my favorite scene in Jedi. I went to see it on opening day and people were on their feet screaming at the screen for Vader to hep Luke. At 13 years old, I remember thinking to myself that if Lucas can get people to react like that to a plastic mask looking back and forth with no dialogue, I want to be able to do that. That’s real filmmaking, But this ruins it. It’s a fucking travesty.

  • a1

    It’s getting hilariously ridiculous when it comes to Lucas’s increasingly deranged tinkering with the original series. At this point, I’m starting to think he might actually be losing his mind. Thing is, he has such a great set of lawyers that they’ll ensure he retains creative control long after late-stage dementia, leading to “improvements” such as:

    * When Luke falls down the shaft in “Empire”, he’s now saying “WHOOPS!”

    * Boba Fett now falls into the Sarlaac pit after getting hit in the balls by Han Solo.

    * Chewbacca farts a lot more (it’s funny)

    * The 3D versions will not only have midichlorian counts suspended over each jedi’s head, but a battle will have giant words like BAM!, POW!, and SITH! appear for each hit.

    * The Ewoks will beat up the Stormtroopers with the same CGI kung fu Yoda used in “Attack of the Clones”

    * and finally, Hayden Christiansen will keep showing up in the original trilogy on Vader’s shoulder, acting as his “conscience”.

  • Rashad

    Matthew: That;s horseshit. There’s more weight in the first than any other.

  • JLC

    Why does this surprise anyone? I now think that Lucas continues the multiple releases of the films on video for the sole purpose of tinkering with them. If he had sculpted David, I do think he would have made it out of Silly Putty.

  • corey3rd

    You’re better off saving your money and just buying the Blu-rays of Battle Beyond the Stars and Star Crash. John Boy and Marjoe Gortner in space!!!!

  • MarkVH

    So, that Citizen Kane Blu’s looking pretty sweet right about now.

  • Markj74

    It doesn’t bother me one way or the other, and I say that as a big Star Wars fan from my childhood. What does bother me is the cabal of internet nerds who make a huge song and dance about the changes every time the films are released, all these people that are supposedly done with Star Wars, and then go out and buy each boxset anyway. Idiots.

  • DavidF

    If that’s real – and I find it hard to believe – it’s stunningly stupid.

    Lucas, if nothing else, has always prided himself (rightly so) as a visual filmmaker. It’s unbelievable he would look at that moment and think the visuals don’t convey Vader thinking “NO!” to the point that he’d have to add that dialogue….

    It really would almost seem like a “fuck you!” to the fans because it’s more redundant and pointless than bad, per se.

  • TL

    “I only suffered once through Return of the Jedi (although I’ve watched pieces of it since on laser disc and DVD),”

    Wait, all the hating you do on Jedi, and you’ve only seen it once all the way through? Give it another shot sometime. It’s not great, but it’s not without its charms either. In particular, the production design is the most fully realized of any of the SW films and should look really good on Blu.

  • nodirectionhome

    I was highly anticipating the bluray collection, even suffering through the Prequels and the outdated CGI additions sticking out like cold sores in the original trilogy. But this is an utter travesty, the whole series leads up to this powerful scene and now its become another lauded Lucas 2.0 debacle. Who would even make that connection or find the “No” profound other than the misfortunate Millennials who grew up on STARWARS post prequels ? I never paid much attention to the Lucas rape accusations or the Han shooting arrangement, but I believe this issue here is finally the last straw and worthy enough of an outcry. Thanks George for saving me $100. Thankfully I still have the “original” original VHS trilogy, now I just have find a damn VCR.

  • Jason S.

    I always hated that added Han line in “Jedi”when he says he can see a lot better. Completely goes against the Han character.

    Lucas bullied “Jedi” director Richard Marquand so much that Marquand just threw his hands up and said “Fuck it.” The two did not get along and that’s why “Jedi” has been changed the most over the years. The worst addition being that awful “Jedi Rocks” song inserted into the 97′ editions.

    One wonders what David Lynch would have done with the movie. No way Lucas would have fucked with Lynch.

  • http://www.twitter.com/danrevill/ Dan Revill

    Except Lynch has repeatedly stated that Lucas was looking for a middle man to do his directing, not an auteur.

    I watched this clip last night and was pretty annoyed. I was going to pick up the set, but right now, I’m not so sure. Seems petty but then again, it ruins a perfect moment in an uneven film. Decisions, decisions.

  • Ray DeRousse

    Holy shit that’s bad.

  • Baron Munchausen-by-Proxy

    Oh, stfu, markj.

    Yes, you are such the cool guy for not having upgraded from, I imagine, your vhs tapes.

    I myself have never been a “Lucas raped my childhood” keyboard-masher. I’ve not particularly minded the editions’ additions… they’ve, generally, been tertiary tweaks to fantasy creatures in a sci-fi landscape. But this is a major change in the behavior of THE major character of the ENTIRE 6-chapter series, in what is arguably the KEY CLIMACTIC scene in the FINAL chapter and the pivotal scene in both this film and said entire series.

    Surely someone can understand, if not sympathize, with many fan’ disappointment with this particular decision.

    To analogize…how about if, in the final moments of this new Blu-ray of “Citizen Kane”, the workman now says, dubbed in while he faces away from the camera at the furnace, “Well, here goes his childhood sled, Rosebud!” while pitching it…..and then, as the camera watches it burn, we hear the superimposed voice of a dying Kane from the opening scenes, saying “Rosebud” with his dying breath.

    Lovely symmetry….AND so much clearer for the viewer!!

    Right?

  • markj

    It doesn’t bother me one way or the other, and I say that as a big Star Wars fan from my childhood. What does bother me is the cabal of internet nerds who make a huge song and dance about the changes every time the films are released, all these people that are supposedly done with Star Wars, and then go out and buy each boxset anyway. Idiots.

  • Jason S.

    Not a hoax (in case some were still wondering) – Lucas confirms to the NY Times that it’s the real deal:

    http://artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/08/31/lucasfilm-confirms-change-to-blu-ray-release-of-return-of-the-jedi/?src=tp

  • DavidF

    The Baron’s got it. What we’re all failing to appreciate is that Star Wars is a TONE POEM.

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