Arrogant Ayeholes

I’m at the 50/50 post-premiere party for the Toronto Film Festival, and I’m fuming at all the full-of-themselves under-40s who, in the middle of a super-crowded, celebrity-studded madhouse party (Seth Rogen and Joseph Gordon Levitt are sitting 20 feet away), order tray after tray of complicated mixed drinks from the bartender, tying her up for minutes on end. Just order wine or beer or straight shots, you thoughtless jerks, and give other people a chance to order what they want so everyone can have a nice time.

Update: There was one other bartender besides the woman I’m speaking of, and some guy darting in and out and delivering drinks on a tray. The prty could have used at least one more bartender, and two more would have been all the better.

  • actionman

    Hell is other people for sure.

  • The Criterion Guy

    Just one bartender? WTF???

  • George Prager

    Haha…I know exactly how you feel. I used to go to this dive bar in the East Village where no one ever ordered anything more complicated than a screwdriver, and most people just ordered Ballantine Ale. A few years later, I went back and it was full of Zooey Deschanels and their fop boyfriends ordering God knows what (Rob Roys? Old Fashioneds?). There was only one bartender, so you had to stand there and watch him make these drinks, one after the other, that all had fruit in them.

  • Eloi Wrath

    Christ… this Toronto Film Festival increasingly sounds like the Bataan Death March. Stay strong, Wells.

  • http://annie.handbagsoutletme.com anniebag

    sometime, alcohol is the best tool of people.

  • Jeffrey Wells

    “Sometime alcohol is the best tool of people”? Are you illiterate? A spammer? A cretin?

  • astrophore

    I’m all for calling out douchebaggery as it applies to scraggly beards, hipster glasses, those goddam newsie caps, and Pabst Fucking Blue Ribbon, but lay off the old-fashioned. That’s a class-A drink. And fast to make. Bourbon, bitters, simple syrup. Perfection.

  • actionlover

    anniebag is a spammer…. hence the name… (just run your cursor over their name and see what it links to)

    I do like the broken Chinese wackiness of that, though. “alcohol is the best tool of people”.

    I recall the beleaguered faces of the bartenders at Hollywood Star Lanes after “The Big Lebowski” came out. Poor old gals were used to popping open bottles of MGD and Bud Light. Now there were all manner of cheeky hipster dorks ordering White Russians.

    The bartenders at the Dresden Room got a bit tired of the multi-olived dirty martinis after “Swingers” came out, too.

  • DiscoNap

    Wells doing his “What the fuck are you on about?” routine to a bot is fucking solid gold. I really hope it can be preserved.

  • CinemaPhreak

    But isn’t the blame also of the party organizers who didn’t staff it properly?

    Not to mention, people sometimes order mixed drinks because they want control their intake and not get blotto in such a setting. Also, with beer, wine, straight shots once the drink is gone you feel kind stupid holding the empty. But with mixed, iced drinks you can nurse it along for long time.

  • EricGilde

    Agreed with above. If it’s a big party full of celebrities, the bar and/or organizers should man it properly. If they don’t think that they can, then they can offer a limited menu of beer, wine, whatever.

    Having a full bar available but getting fed up by people making use of it is a dick move, and it sounds like whoever organized this party is the thoughtless jerk for understaffing.

    That said, it works both ways. If I’m in a crowded place and I order a manhattan, I don’t bitch if I have to wait fifteen minutes for it.

  • HarryMoseby

    Gimme a boilermaker. Some son-of-a-bitch was texting in front of me at the movie.

  • Ray

    “Wells doing his “What the fuck are you on about?” routine to a bot is fucking solid gold. I really hope it can be preserved.”

    One more Oscar season away from GET THESE SPYDERS OUT OF MY HEAD!!!!

  • actionlover

    It’s February 2012 and Wells wants to shoot somebody for the grave injustice of “Moneyball” not winning Best Picture.

  • Luke Y. Thompson

    At parties that crowded, double-fist it. Order two drinks when you get to the bar. Simple ones, yes.

  • mike

    I recall the beleaguered faces of the bartenders at Hollywood Star Lanes after “The Big Lebowski” came out. Poor old gals were used to popping open bottles
    1 of MGD and Bud Light.Also, with beer, wine, straight shots once the drink is gone you feel kind stupid holding the empty. But with mixed, iced drinks you can nurse it along for long time.

  • corey3rd

    Nothing like a movie about a guy with cancer to really inspire you to have a fruity drink with an umbrella.

  • Dan Revill

    Wells, you’re in Canada. It should be “Eh-holes!”

  • JLC

    I just watched a compilation video of Larry David’s rules for living on Curb. Somehow they missed this one. I think they got renewed for another season, though.

  • Fyo Karamo

    At a social gathering … Any type of whiskey (bourbon, scotch, etc), neat or ice. Gin, ice. Beer. Wine. No man need ever make his drink order more complex. Perhaps the brand….that’s it. Make whatever the hell you want at home, stick to the basics when out. If not for the sake of others, as Jeffrey says, then why leave to chance that the bartender knows how to make your drink to your satisfaction? Most bartenders are converted waiters/waitresses with no formal training.

  • Chumley

    Spambot for the win.

  • actionlover

    Can I sue the Spambot?

  • dangovich

    q: What movie featured a guy ordering an Aqua Velva?

  • fishhead

    a: Zodiac.

    do i win a prize?

  • http://www.seattlegayscene.com/ Michael Strangeways

    You order frou frou drinks at bars that regularly serve such drinks…you don’t order them at bars that mainly serve beer and two ingredient drinks.

    At receptions and parties like this, stay simple. Especially if they are obviously short handed. And, usually the more complicated the drink, the shittier it is at these big parties. They usually don’t have the right ingredients, equipment or training to get too fancy.

    But, how many film festivals have you been to and you’re shocked that a function is understaffed? All film festival functions are usually understaffed…at least when it comes to useful staff like bartenders or waiters.

  • alberto783

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