Facial Roughage

I realized during the 2012 Sundance Film Festival that not wearing facial stubble is no longer an option for lead actors. Obedience was demanded and every single actor in every single film I saw in Park City complied. And we the ticket-buyers are probably stuck with glistening follicles for the next 10 to 15 years. Or longer. Fashion dictates, monkeys salute and no one resists. Probably because of surveys like this one.

  • erniesouchak

    Stubble isn’t as idiotic as the hipster-asshole beard or mustache, both of which were all too prevalent at Sundance this year. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, looks good in a mustache.

  • Raising_Kaned

    Tom Selleck is not a NOBODY, goddamit!

  • Hallick

    Sam Elliot, Alex Trebek, Burt Reynolds…

  • The Thing

    A sweet sweet beard/mustache looks good on some people. However, it’s hard to grow one that good, so as a general rule, occasional shaving is mandatory.

  • Gaydos

    A companion hipster trend and one that is even more annoying, is the absolute absence of any male vocal register below high tenor.

    No baritones allowed anymore in Americana music, so goodbye Johnny Cash, Elvis, Waylon, et al., hello everyone else who sound to my ears like the aural equivalents of Eddie Haskell.

  • George Prager

    You forgot Lou Rawls.

  • Raising_Kaned

    Darren Aronofsky?

    Oh wait — wrong list…

  • Gabe@ThePlaylist

    Currently growing out a Lemmy-from-Motorhead mustache, so fuck all of you.

  • Raising_Kaned

    “If you squeeze my lizard; I’ll put my snake on you” is perhaps the best opening two lines in all of rock history.

  • The Thing

    Claiming that an indie-rock trend is indicative of the future of music is probably the most retarded thing you’ve said Gaydos. By that logic, we should be listening to a bunch of bands that use rock flute (Jethro Tull) or organs over a bass (The Doors), or death screams (every metal band from 1980 on)

  • Cadavra

    I cracked up my film-savvy Facebook friends a couple of years ago with this status update: “How come Bradley Cooper doesn’t shave for a week and he’s The Sexiest Man Alive, but if I don’t shave for a week, I look like I just got thrown off a train by Ernest Borgnine?”

  • Jericho Cane

    EMPEROR OF THE NORTH is fucking awesome. Well played, sir.

  • Gaydos

    The Thing: How you read what I said and came up with “Claiming that an indie-rock trend is indicative of the future of music” I don’t know, but I will try to clarify as I’m not predicting anything.

    I’m describing the monumental domination of the contempo music scene by male singers whose plaintive wails seem to be mandated by law to fly over the baritone range as if there were children’s hospitals in danger just below.

    Theory: Steve Perry unleashed something unGodly that wiped out an entire species that once roamed the charts sporting sideburns and warm, lower tones.

    And yes Prager, Lou Rawls is missed and you won’t hear Coldplay or Radiohead performing Barry White’s greatest hits either.

    And if I’m full of shit on this one, then so is baritone genius singer poet maestro Tom Russell who riffed on this though his whole show at McCabes a while back, which is where I stole the idea.

  • Jesse Crall

    I kept a short beard for about 2 years before shaving last week, which re-acquainted me with my good friend Mr. Acne.

  • DiscoNap

    Gaydos: try The National, Magnetic Fields, or Constantines. There’s hope.

  • berg

    Magnetic Fields and 69 Love Songs is a solid … but have you seen that doc on Steven Merritt? the guy really hates his audience

  • Trevor

    That’s what killed Dennis day – contempt for the audience.

  • George Prager

    Steve Perry? What about Jon Anderson, Dennis DeYoung, Frankie Valli, Brian and Carl Wilson, Lou Christie, Roy Orison and this guy: http://youtu.be/uKBsIynooLw

    So I assume Gaydos is grooving on the Scotty McCreerey album.

  • Gaydos

    Disconap, thnx for the music tips! George, just had lunch with a pro from Nashville who was laughing about how ASHAMED the whole town is over the sucksess of Scotty.

    In addition to possessing a lower vocal range, its also helpful to possess human DNA.

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