Last To Post This
A teaser for the big whoppo-socko-poppo Total Recall trailer that’ll debut on Sunday, 4.1, on the ABC network and online. The opportunistic Underworld director Les Wiseman guiding Colin Farrell, Kate Beckinsale (Wiseman’s wife), Bryan Cranston (who’s in everything), Bill Nighy, Bokeem Woodbine, Ethan Hawke and John Cho. Digital, gravity-free reboot of the 1990 Arnold Schwarznegger film, which wasn’t bad at the time.
My entire morning was consumed by matters of distraction that had nothing to do with posting stories. It happens.
Had a Verhoeven kick a few months ago and re-watched the original. Sad to say it doesn’t work anymore at all. For what was the most expensive movie ever made at the time (according to Wiki), it looks incredibly cheap.
RoboCop, Starship Troopers and Basic Instinct still work like gangbusters, though.
i got a fifth element vibe
The Wells hate train just fired up its engines for Cranston. Lovely.
@Jack South P.I…agree on both counts. Would love to see this work, big fan of the source material.
That teaser stole 2 exact shots from 5th Element, and 3 from Minority Report, why btw, also has not held up, aside from the brown ball scene. (Just rewatched and the action was complete junk. A scene of Cruise debating to jump into a dumpster in MI4 was 10 times more exciting than watching him ridiculously doodle jump on vertically moving cars down a skyscraper.)
I can’t believe it’s been almost a dozen years since someone gave one of the great sex-and-violence provocateurs of our lifetimes $100 million to put some crazy shit on screen. He made six films in the 13 years between Robocop and Hollow Man, and one in the 12 years since then.
How much more fun would summers in the 2000s have been with a new Verhoeven spectacle every other year?
Hollow Man was a bit rapey.
Total Recall looks fine, it’s a product of its time and is amazing given the lack of digital FX.
Plus, triple breasted hooker.
This looks polished to the point of dullness. The great pleasure of the original has always been how cheesy it was.
Will they have a chick with 3 tits?
Total Recall may be Verhoeven’s best American film. Hang on- let me explain:
For starters, forget about taking it seriously.
Once you do that, it is an absolutely insane movie and probably Arnold’s best quote generator:
“Get your azz to Mahhhz”
“Conseedeh dat a deevohce”
“Eff ieem nat me, whodehell am i??!”
Arnold at his most unintentionally hilarious, Verhoeven at his most gleefully perverse (and that’s saying quite a lot), Ronny Cox AND Michael Ironside? It’s effing genius.
Movie Watcher: It’s not Total Recall if they don’t. And don’t forget the midget hooker while we’re at it.
“Sad to say it doesn’t work anymore at all.”
Does it not work at all for you because it looks cheap or for additional reasons altogether?
Just wondering…
In all fairness I haven’t seen it entirely in several years, but I thought it held up all right the last time I recall watching it (no pun intended). It has some cheesy 80′s effects and strange humor mixed in with Verhoevan ultra-violence, but I’d take that mixture any day of the week over 8 out of 10 action movies released today. It might look like crap effects wise, but so does nearly every single action/sci-fi/adventure film made before1980.
This thing is surely going to be PG-13 – and I don’t think it even takes place on Mars. So there’s probably no Johnny Cab, no three titted woman, no excessive violence, no Schwarzenegger, no Ronny Cox. Probably no humor at all.
I’d love nothing more than to see a cool remake of it – but on paper this sounds pretty watered down and forgettable. … what could Wiseman possibly have to offer?
See you at the party Richtor!
“TWO…WEEKS!!!”
I believe you’ll find thats a midget hooker with a shotgun.
Also worth mentioning: Arnie and Verhoeven DVD commentary.
@bents75 – spoiler alert – the original didn’t take place on Mars either.
Every movie Bryan Cranston is in is better off for him being there.
Ethan Hawke’s in this? Wow, remember when he was a movie star? Now his name gets rattled off after Bokeem Woodbine.
I never realized I missed Paul Verhoeven so much except when I realize they’re remaking all his movies, and the only thing he’s directed in the past 12 years is Black Book (which I liked).
Looks like his next movie is a period Dutch film.
Wouldn’t you be a lot more interested if it was “Paul Verhoeven’s Battleship” coming this summer?
“I believe you’ll find thats a midget hooker with a shotgun.”
You can’t make this stuff up folks.
The original is one of Jerry Goldsmith’s best scores, not to mention a great workout soundtrack.
Watched the original recently, and the look of the thing was really offputting. There’s a particularly ugly look to the sets, the lighting, the design etc; it’s well known that they filmed in Mexico to save on costs and as a result, time hasn’t been kind.
“Wouldn’t you be a lot more interested if it was “Paul Verhoeven’s Battleship” coming this summer?”
My theory on Verhoeven’s absence is that the PG-13-ization of the American action/sci-fi/thriller genres basically pushed out a guy who was fully capable of making a movie a 14-year-old could enjoy while still blowing adult’s minds. Of course his Battleship would be far more entertaining than what even the capable Peter Berg can produce, but a game company is never going to put its product in the hands of a crazy Dutch anarchist, and since all the movies in his wheelhouse that gets produced these days are remakes, comic adaptations, or game tie-ins….
Movie of the last decade that would have been most improved by Verhoeven: Watchmen.
http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Nazareth-Paul-Verhoeven/dp/1583229051
>For what was the most expensive movie ever made at the time (according to Wiki), it looks incredibly cheap.
>RoboCop, Starship Troopers and Basic Instinct still work like gangbusters, though.
Yeah, the production design is not good. As for Robocop, not only does it ‘hold up’ (to use the parlance of our times), but it makes me doubt whether present movies ‘hold up’ to IT.
Yeah, I’m going to say that I’d selfishly rather he be making anti-fascist movies featuring gratuitous limb-severing and full-frontal nudity than writing books about Jesus.
bents: They claim they’re is gonna be a woman with “triplets”. But I guess if it’s PG-13, they’ll just keep ‘em covered and imply they’re under there.
Anyway, I really wish I was in L.A. when he was hosting a screening of Troopers a few years back. I think it was actually part of an anti-Bush rally.
Actually it was a midget hooker with a submachine gun – the shotgun belonged to a hobo…;-)
Verhoeven’s run from RoboCop to Hollow Man (well ok, you can exclude Hollow Man) was incredible. Every single one of those movies is awesome. And Showgirls is absolutely a classic (and not in a camp kind of way).
@DarkImbecile — there’s no doubt that if PV did Watchmen it probably would’ve supplanted TDK as the best superhero movie ever made. No question.
I thought Colin Farrell was done with these big budget tired rehashes now that he’s sober. It feels like 2004 again. Les Wiseman being attached to a project is sole crushing. Not that he’s incompetent but his stuff is just so uninspired.
This has me thinking of Les Wiseman’s HUNGER GAMES, which would’ve essentially been Gary Ross’ HUNGER GAMES–but Verhoeven’s HUNGER GAMES could’ve been a classic to rival ROBOCOP.
Okay, Joel Kinnaman’s RoboCop, now cast the rest of the movie.
Officer Lewis – Elizabeth Moss
The Old Man – Christopher Plummer
Dick Jones – Bryan Cranston
Clarence – Walton Goggins
Morton – Matthew Lillard
Emil – Ben Foster
Nash – Brady Corbet
Johnson – Wendell Pierce
31 comments and no mention of Kuato?
Len Wiseman holds the distinction of making a worse Die Hard movie than Renny Harlin. That takes a special kind of no talent.
Prager wins.
Kuato.
Holy crap. I was 19 years old at the time of Total Recall’s release…and to this day I remember Kuato giving me nightmares. Call me a pansy, bla bla whatever. You put that creepy puppet thing up against any CG creation and it wins any time.
Major shout-out to Rob Bottin’s beyond disturbing practical effects and make-up work!
Ok- my math is off- I was actually 17 when it was released. I was still a pansy, but at least technically still a minor at the time.
“Quaid…QUAID.” Scratchy voice coming from a grotesque baby thing grown out of a brainless man’s chest! God…that was wild, funny, and creepy at the same time. I still say “Quaid…!” in that scratchy voice to my cinephile buddies to make them laugh.
Kuato sings Peter Gabriel
http://youtu.be/gaaf_9TqPL8
Has anyone else looked at the full cast of the new one?
Kuato is now played by Bill Nighy.
How the fuck do you go from creepy puppet to Bill Nighy?
I would only respect that if it was still just Bill Nighy’s head and little arms sticking out of someone else’s torso.
Man, Ive got five kids to feed!
i’m pretty sure this is going to be a lot worse than the original. i haven’t seen any of them since the original but underworld was a pretty stupid movie.
but i’ll be ready for a surprise just in case.
“That’s for making me come to Mars!”
“Consider that a divorce!”
“Benny…SCREW YOU!”
Love it. But a remake closer to the source isn’t a bad idea, if nothing to get excited about.
Verhoeven had health issues in the aughts. And wrote a book on Jesus.
“Quaid…QUAID.” Scratchy voice coming from a grotesque baby thing grown out of a brainless man’s chest! God…that was wild, funny, and creepy at the same time. I still say “Quaid…!” in that scratchy voice to my cinephile buddies to make them laugh.
“Quaid…QUAID.” Scratchy voice coming from a grotesque baby thing grown out of a brainless man’s chest! God…that was wild, funny, and creepy at the same time. I still say “Quaid…!” in that scratchy voice to my cinephile buddies to make them laugh.
“Quaid…QUAID.” Scratchy voice coming from a grotesque baby thing grown out of a brainless man’s chest! God…that was wild, funny, and creepy at the same time. I still say “Quaid…!” in that scratchy voice to my cinephile buddies to make them laugh.
“What happened to Number Five?”
“Oo iz it dis time, my mud-da?”
The guy from rekall (who he shoots in the head) isn’t lying. The movie from that point on is all in Arnold’s rapidly dissolving mind.
The movie fades to white at the end to signify his mind finally going.
From Paul Verhoeven at the Edinburgh Film festival.
http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/egm15.htm
I enjoyed reading i some interesting stuff about this article. I’m supposed to be somewhere else in a minute but I stuck to reading the story. I like the quality of your blog: D
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I admit I didn’t time it with a stop watch but I’m guessing there’s about 15 seconds of footage of a 2 hour movie in there, with no dialogue at all.
Anyone else here think it’s too soon to be commenting on its quality or lack thereof? No? Just me?
I thought at HE we at least wait until we see the one-sheet before thumbs up/down, no?
Also, this trailers-for-trailers thing is getting stoopid.