Nowhere Men

You have to hand it to the designers and distributors of these one-sheets. They’ve made it clear which film is worthwhile, and which is the toss-away. The characters played by Robert Pattinson in Bel Ami and Cosmopolis are not dissimilar. Alone, aloof, not overly concerned with ethical behavior, etc.

22 thoughts on “Nowhere Men

  1. Cronenberg will get me into the theater to see Cosmopolis, not Pattinson. Was there a worse film than Water for Elephants and a worse performance by an actor?

  2. If Pattinson dyed his hair, he’d be a dead ringer for Vinny Chase and these look like mock Entourage posters.

  3. Cronenberg is the obvious draw for me, but I like the Cosmo poster. It has feeling. Theres a twisted mood emanating from it.

    As far as his acting ability is concerned, I don’t know if the kid has a future. I will give him the first Twilight movie which I thought he genuinely displayed a range of emotions that felt organic, maybe Hardwick kicked his ass on set or something, but ever since its been downhill. Its not that he misses the mark here and there during a given scene, he’s just slap your forehead bad from beginning to end. Perfect example: Remember Me. I’ve seen some crappy performances in my lifetime, but holy shit — this guy makes Hayden Christensen look like Daniel Day Lewis. Hopefully Cronenberg can work some magic.

  4. Water for Elephants isn’t all that bad, but the sheer lack of chemistry between him and Witherspoon severely hurts it.

    Very much looking forward to Cosmopolis.

  5. Forgot to add both characters spend a significant amount of time bedding various women. I like the Bel Ami poster. The one for Cosmopolis looks too try-hard and Cronenberg’s name should come first. He is the reason to see the movie.

  6. Chemistry? Did I see a different film? Even my wife who is very easy when it comes to chick flicks thought Pattison was beyond blah.

  7. I hate that I know that Bel Ami is a European gay porn company because now I can’t stop laughing at Robert Pattison in European gay porn.

  8. Pattinson does seem attracted to “nowhere” characters right now. But at least they are complicated characters in dramas, Jeff. He’s not going the easy route that a lot of actors his age would take, like the Rom Coms, super heroes, and Nicolas Sparks flicks. Yes, he signed on for Twilight, but I find this continuous condemnation of his acting OTT. He’s not a bad actor. If you look at his filmography, besides Twilight and Harry Potter, he takes a lot of chances. I don’t get the hate.

  9. I don’t mean YOU hate Pattinson, Jeff. I’m talking about the internet, fanboy hate. Cronenberg was seriously impressed by the guy. I think he’s misunderstood because of the Twilight stigma.

  10. Pattinson does seem attracted to “nowhere” characters right now. But at least they are complicated characters in dramas, Jeff. He’s not going the easy route that a lot of actors his age would take, like the Rom Coms, super heroes, and Nicolas Sparks flicks. Yes, he signed on for Twilight, but I find this continuous condemnation of his acting OTT. He’s not a bad actor. If you look at his filmography, besides Twilight and Harry Potter, he takes a lot of chances. I don’t get the hate.

  11. Pattinson does seem attracted to “nowhere” characters right now. But at least they are complicated characters in dramas, Jeff. He’s not going the easy route that a lot of actors his age would take, like the Rom Coms, super heroes, and Nicolas Sparks flicks. Yes, he signed on for Twilight, but I find this continuous condemnation of his acting OTT. He’s not a bad actor. If you look at his filmography, besides Twilight and Harry Potter, he takes a lot of chances. I don’t get the hate.

  12. Pattinson does seem attracted to “nowhere” characters right now. But at least they are complicated characters in dramas, Jeff. He’s not going the easy route that a lot of actors his age would take, like the Rom Coms, super heroes, and Nicolas Sparks flicks. Yes, he signed on for Twilight, but I find this continuous condemnation of his acting OTT. He’s not a bad actor. If you look at his filmography, besides Twilight and Harry Potter, he takes a lot of chances. I don’t get the hate.

  13. I don’t mean YOU hate Pattinson, Jeff. I’m talking about the internet, fanboy hate. Cronenberg was seriously impressed by the guy. I think he’s misunderstood because of the Twilight stigma.

  14. I don’t mean YOU hate Pattinson, Jeff. I’m talking about the internet, fanboy hate. Cronenberg was seriously impressed by the guy. I think he’s misunderstood because of the Twilight stigma.

  15. I don’t mean YOU hate Pattinson, Jeff. I’m talking about the internet, fanboy hate. Cronenberg was seriously impressed by the guy. I think he’s misunderstood because of the Twilight stigma.

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