Sartorial

As far as ComicCon giveaways go, this Django Unchained T-shirt is fairly appealing. The problem, as always, is that giveaway T-shirt material is always coarse, always Hanes-y. And the sleeves are too wide and long. If this shirt was made out of fine, densely-threaded material I’d wear it. Well, once or twice.

  • Raising_Kaned

    Somehow it always seems to come back to the thread-count.

  • Zach

    How is anyone supposed to fit their head in that? There’s nothing worse than a t-shirt that makes you feel like you’re wearing a necktie.

    And for folks over 6′ tall, longer sleeves are a blessing (but yes, they’re always too wide).

  • Raising_Kaned

    It’s probably a concept shirt — gives your neck the vicarious experience of being enslaved.

  • lazarus

    Sleeves are too long? In that pic?

    What do you want, a tank top?

  • dino velvet

    Let’s register as many complaints as we can over something that’s being given away for free.

  • Ghost of Kazan

    I know just the shoes to go with this.

  • http://www.francenike2012.com nike tn pas cher

    Just like it.Very much.And I think this shoes is suitable for it.nike shox

  • Krillian

    *Jealous.*

  • Colin

    What Krillian said.

  • Ira Parks

    JEFFREY WELLS SAYS…

    PRIMORDIAL TROUGH SLOP

    It’s a long story, but through the graces of Robert Evans, I’ve made it into Comic-con 2012.

    The air is heavy with that gym sweat smell. A Faraci beardo paradise. Getting adjusted, eyeballing the scene, etc. Reporting soon.

  • Ira Parks

    @DEVIN FARACI SAYS(Via twitter)…

    Funny how some out of touch bloggers can’t seem to get enough of the films/events they profess to hate.

    @POOPPANTIES4REAL SAYS…

    LOL!!!!!! Go Devin! UR the one me and my homies read 4 updates on film.

    @DROIDGUY735 SAYS…

    YEAH, tell em D.F.!

  • Ira Parks

    JEFFREY WELLS SAYS…

    Q.T./TURAN BUST-UP

    I can nearly confirm early reports by Karina Longworth that Quentin Tarantino attacked Kenny Turan at a DJANGO UNCHAINED press brunch this ayem.

    The t-shirts featured in the post SARTORIAL were central to the beef. Reportedly Turan politely declined a shirt when Tarantino was offering them to all. He raged for a few minutes before upending a table. (HE pally Jeff “the dude” Dowd was eating at that table, and ran interference for Turan, so I’m told by the waitress.)

    Poland, Longworth, and Rocchi are all calling for an investigation. I’m sniffing out tea leaves as we speak.

  • Ira Parks

    BALLSWORTH SAYS…

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • Ira Parks

    DAVID POLAND SAYS…

    Sad.

  • Ira Parks

    JEFFREY WELLS SAYS…

    So…that means….what, Dave?

  • Ira Parks

    DAVID POLAND SAYS…

    It means, Jeffrey, that this was a closed, private issue until you and others went public with it. Not everything is a show. This was a private matter that could’ve been settled privately, but will now be Indiewire’s top story, etc, etc.

    Thing is, Kenny and Quentin (I expect to have my DP/30 with him up by X-mas) were laughing it up right before the incident. How do I know? I was there. You weren’t. All due respect, but it’s not your story.

    Sigh. Perspective, people.

  • Ira Parks

    BALLSWORTH SAYS…

    I never condone violence, but the idea of Kenny “Dockers” Turan getting clocked AT BRUNCH is making Miller 64 shoot out of my nose.

    LOVING the image of Rocchi and clunky glasses Longworth BLAZING A TRAIL of justice over a shoving match.

    Aren’t any of you tired of[Wells to our new friend: Cold rag on the back of the neck, hot tea.]

  • Ira Parks

    RAYGO SAYS…

    Another thread ruined.

  • Ira Parks

    JAMES ROCCHI SAYS…

    I was nowhere near this incident, nor did I engage counsel on anyone’s behalf. Get your facts straight, you devilish king of torment. Be off with you.

    Yours,

    J.

  • Ira Parks

    GLENN KENNY SAYS…

    You really know how to make friends wherever you go, don’t you, ace?

    WELLS TO “NO LINK” KENNY: EAT MY ASS. AT LEAST I’M ON ASSIGNMENT.

  • Ira Parks

    GLENN KENNY SAYS…

    Quelle surprise! The cage has been rattled!

    Off to the gym to work the bag.

    I’ve never said “Ta”

  • Ira Parks

    DON MURPHY SAYS…

    [Wells to Murphy: Sorry, but this isn't an area wherein you can say much of anything without the appearance of bias, no?]

  • Ira Parks

    @NOTDAVIDPOLAND ON TWITTER (CLEARLY DON MURPHY) SAYS…

    Waaaa. I’m David Poland. WAAAAAAA. I want my mommy. I soiled my pants. WAAAAA.

  • Ira Parks

    LEWIS BEALE SAYS…

    Jeff, I’ve known you twenty years or more. If you don’t ban Ira Parks, I’m through with this site and you. I’m sorry, but that’s how it has to be.

  • Ira Parks

    RED SOX FAN675 SAYS…

    What Lewis Beale said.

  • Ira Parks

    GEORGE PRAGER SAYS…

    That marks the first time anyone has said, “What Lewis Beale said.”

  • Ira Parks

    ROD LURIE SAYS…

    YOU ARE ALL CERTIFIABLE.

    Jeff, for God’s sake, close comments. You don’t need this.

  • Stewart Klein

    Sorry ira to ruin your thread, but if anyone has not seen the piers morgan interview with Robert Blake on CNN last night find it online somewhere. Some of Blake’s rantings were classic. Just shows how much I missed this guy on talkshows.

  • MarkJ

    Does ANYONE find Ira amusing anymore? Done to death.

  • MickTravisMcGee

    There’s nothing like seeing an H-E thread with a topic that’s interesting, noticing a large number of comments that have been added, clicking the link to see what the discussion is, and finding one reader sitting in there all by himself, putting on a puppet show.

    I’m starting to prefer the spam posts about sneakers.

  • Ballsworth

    A toss-off picture of a cheesy-looking Will Smith Wild Wild West print shirt was “a topic that’s interesting”?

    As an on-topic callback: Is there a BIGGER SIGN OF DOUCHE than wearing a MOVIE T-SHIRT? Like some dork wearing an Empire Strikes Back shirt or a Reservoir Dogs T-shirt back in the day… It ALWAYS screams “beardo virgin,” and usually connotes someone with no social skill.

    I tell this GREAT STORY ALL THE TIME, but in 1994 I took the DGA TRAINEE EXAM, and some Knowles-Faraci-ass dork had on a WHO SHOT NICE GUY EDDIE? shirt.

    Now I was a bumpkin from a sports town where NOBODY liked movies, so I didn’t really know any “geeks” then, but this was like the season of PULP FICTION and I saw this shirt and I was like, WHOA, A LIKEMINDED SOUL, so I complimented this spazzboy on his stupid novelty shirt, thinking we’d be like HEY YEAH AWESOME MOVIES WHOO….

    So I was like, “Hey, funny shirt, I love Reservoir Dogs, I kinda wondered that myself…” or something, and this dude leapt back like ten paces all fidgety and sputtery and WHAHHH WHHHHAAHHH WAHHHH like a total retard like no one had ever spoken to him… He had no comeback, no anecdote about the movie, looked at me like DO NOT ACKNOWLEDGE ME…

    I kinda blocked that memory out for nearly two decades, but lately I’ve found that a prescient preparation for how FUCKING WEIRD AND HUMORLESS AND NO PERSONALITY AND NO INTERESTS AND AUTISTIC most film geeks are.

  • JBM…

    @Lex: I worked in a theater a couple years back and pilfered a host of movie T-shirts to wear around the house (and to 7-11 at 2 in the morning). DEATH AT A FUNERAL, SHUTTER ISLAND, THE KARATE KID, DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS and DEFIANCE don’t exactly scream high fashion but they’ve held up well over the years.

  • JBM…

    …oh, and an EAGLE EYE T-shirt for the gym.

  • Ballsworth

    a) Who’s Lex?

    b) A DEFIANCE SHIRT does sound like the greatest thing ever. I always love when you see some dude out and about rocking a CREW JACKET for some totally mundane decade-old movie, like some dude at the Grove stone kickin’ it live in an EXIT WOUNDS jacket.

    Always reminds me of those pics in the JOHN CARPENTER INTERVIEW BOOK where they’re all on the set of “The Thing” rocking some year-old “Halloween II” jackets in this total Laverne and Shirley font.

  • MickTravisMcGee

    A toss-off picture of a cheesy-looking Will Smith Wild Wild West print shirt was “a topic that’s interesting”?

    No, Lex, a typically Wellsian complaint about free schwag for my most anticipated movie of the year is a topic that’s interesting.

  • nodirectionhome

    The T-shirt has been on decline for the past few years, turning more into a designer undershirt. The sleeves are too short, barely going past your shoulder and the cut is always tight. They should be slightly loose with decent regular size sleeve at least to your bicep or forearm. I’m not looking for the baggy trend to return but a happy medium which exsisted before it all went the ‘skinny jean’ Joey Ramone route.

  • Ballsworth

    That’s a good point…

    I’m an enormous fat fuck, but I always wonder, even for skinny emo people, isn’t a TIGHT T-SHIRT like SUPER UNCOMFORTABLE? You see even these 140 pound dudes rocking some shit that looks like a CHILD SIZE SMALL ironed to their bird-chest frame, I don’t know, it just doesn’t look comfortable. Doesn’t anyone miss the 1992 big-ass shirt wigger look where even skinny dudes would rock a XXXXL and it would be all loose and comfortable? I’ve never understood the wisdom of smothering her frame with some James Hetfield/Clint Eastwood-level TIGHTNESS where even the sleeves look pegged.

  • SilverScreener

    Ballsworth reminded me of a time in college when I went to see Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie on campus with friends. Sitting in line in front of us was this heavy, unkempt, bearded, ginger behemoth wearing the same uniform worn by Mike and Joel on the series.

    And my friends and I are talking amongst ourselves about how excited we are about seeing this on a big screen, and how “clever” it was for the campus to advertise it being screened in Normal View (a joke in the film), when Beardo turns around and snaps, “Is that the only joke you guys know? Because it was a HUGE TV show!”

    Like, angry at us. Because OBVIOUSLY we couldn’t be fans, since we came in jeans and t-shirts. So my roommate looks at his uniform and says, just to see what happens: “Oh, have you heard of it?”

    The guy rolls his eyes and says, “No, never, that’s why I’m wearing an OFFICIAL SATELLITE OF LOVE UNIFORM.” Then mutters, “Unbelievable” to his friends as he turns back around.

    Some geeks are just the. Worst. People.

  • York “Budd” Durden

    Ah, the life of the failed standup…. lonely, out there in the wicked unforgiving LA nighttime, where the wealthy and famous and sexually satisfied sleep peacefully.

  • Gussie Finknottle

    “Does ANYONE find Ira amusing anymore?”

    Yes, they do. A fairly disingenuous question given the relative frequency with which other commenters applaud his efforts.

    Although admittedly Ira does seem to have started ignoring his self imposed general rule about only peppering threads which would otherwise be low on comments.

    I guess what qualifies as an “interesting topic” is entirely subjective, but describing this post as such certainly seems like a bit of a stretch to me.

  • Jesse Crall

    Ah, this post has 40 comments. Looking forward to some great snark regarding Jeff’s thread count mention! What’s this? IRA PARKS??!! AH FUCK. There goes my morning…

    @”Ballsworth” Nah, well made t-shirts fit BETTER when they’re tight if you’re in shape. Jeff’s right about thread-counts…

  • Krillian

    I prefer my T-shirts a little large. I’m a T-shirt and jeans guy when not at work.

  • Ira Parks

    ROBERT BARNHILL (REALLY ROBERT CASHILL) SAYS…

    @MICKTRAVISMCGEE: I feel you. Ira’s the worst. What can we do? I’ve wriiten congress about stricter comment laws, but you get the run around, as usual. I think if enough of us threaten to leave, Jeff will ban him.

    Would you like to meet up later? Nothing weird. We could meet at Quiznos and hash this out, maybe?

  • Ira Parks

    FLOYD THURSBY SAYS…

    Umm, “Barnhill”, you don’t spell it wriiten, it’s written.

  • Ira Parks

    MARKJ SAYS…

    Hey, if that’s your thing people, great, do it.

    I, for one, am leaving HE today. Finished.

    I’m sick. To my stomach.

  • Ira Parks

    MICKTRAVISMCGEE SAYS…

    Look folks, I like comedy when it’s good. Everybody Loves Raymond, now there’s a show.

    I formally move to ban Ira for the sake of the site.

  • Ira Parks

    GLENN KENNY SAYS…

    Ban the fucker. Ban him sideways.

  • Ira Parks

    ROBERT CASHILL SAYS…

    I will sue HE if Ira Parks doesn’t retract the libelous statements within post #43.

    I’ll give you 24 hrs.

  • Ira Parks

    PHILLIP NOYCE SAYS…

    Ira: Go the fuck to bed, mate. Have a walkabout later to get your priorities straight.

  • Ira Parks

    KENNETH TURAN SAYS…

    I’m fine, thanks for asking. Sustained a few cuts, bruises, but otherwise okay.

    Let us say that I’m in no position to review DJANGO now without bias. I recuse myself.

    Would’ve prefered to keep this private, Jeffrey.

  • Ira Parks

    GABE TORO SAYS…

    Indiewire now reporting Ken Turan to sue HE. No bullshit. Ira’s toast.

  • Sasha Stone

    Ira Parks! FTW. Just wish there was a whole blog on just Ira Parks.

  • Ira Parks

    JAMES ROCCHI SAYS…

    I regret to say I feel a delicious tingling of schadenfreude at Ira’s imminent fate.

    (Puts on bowler hat gingerly.)

    Yours,

    J.

  • roland1824

    How about those that find Ira annoying share with us what the hell they think the comment thread on a post about a FREEBIE PROMO T-SHIRT should have looked like. A lively discussion about fabric thread counts? Jeff should put Ira on the payroll for turning these throwaways into something, anything.

  • raygo

    Immortalized (for a day) in an Ira Parks says … comment. I don’t deserve to be included among the likes of Glen Kenney, Don Murphy et al, but it made me laugh.

  • York “Budd” Durden

    When that happened for me, raygo, I knew I’d arrived.

  • trollywood

    I think this movie is just going to suck balls. Seriously. I’ve a very bad feeling about it.

  • Rashad

    Hey “ballsworth” unlock your twitter. I dont’ want to sign up to follow someone

  • Iklan Internet Murah Efektif Berkualitas Indonesia Raya

    oh, and an EAGLE EYE T-shirt for the gym.

  • Sepeda Motor Bebek Injeksi Kencang Dan Irit Jupiter Z1

    DON MURPHY SAYS…

    [Wells to Murphy: Sorry, but this isn't an area wherein you can say much of anything without the appearance of bias, no?]