(Some) Geeks Are Girls

Scratch a ComicCon geek and nine times out of ten you won’t find a shrewd analyzer of popular art or culture or aesthetic expertise. Not necessarily, I mean. What you’ll almost certainly find, I suspect, is someone who’s thisclose to weeping when something gets to him/her emotionally. You’ll find, in short, a girly girl who’s looking to wet her panties and then cry about it. As some guy who saw The Dark Knight Rises yesterday (and whose reaction was captured by comicbookmovie.com) made clear.

Remember all that fluttery geek ecstasy that greeted The Avengers? All those falsetto hossannahs? Remember how Harry Knowles wept when he saw Armageddon?

In their heart of hearts geeks are fair young maidens singing “some day my prince will come,” except their “prince” is that one super-special, unbelievably cool CG comic-book superflick that will make them really damp and squishy.

Agreed — Chris Nolan is an exceptionally brilliant, high-pedigree, world-class filmmaker, and his three Batman films represent some kind of eternal high water mark, etc. But I think I’ve really tapped into something here. The not-so-secret heart of geekdom is basically feminine in nature. If I was a geek I would make a point of channeling Lee Marvin when I take to Twitter, just to counteract this impression. This is one of the reasons I could never be one. My traditional XY tendencies are too pronounced. On top of which I’m reasonably slim, I don’t wear toenail-fungus-exposing flip-flops, I’m not one for facial hair, and I never wear low-threadcount Hanes T-shirts.

  • Eddie Mars Attacks!

    “The not-so-secret heart of geekdom is basically feminine in nature.”

    The above sentence strikes me as very insulting to women. Fanboys are spoiled children with bad taste. Nothing more.

  • iamjoe

    “Scratch a ComicCon geek and nine times out of ten you won’t find a shrewd analyzer of popular art or culture or aesthetic expertise.”

    Insert FILM CRITIC for COMICON GEEK, and you have the exact same opinion piece.

  • Hollis Mulwray

    GEEKDOM can be traced to the initial off-network airing of the STAR TREK television series. The virus then spread and strengthened after the May ’77 release of STAR WARS. Has there every been an examination of GEEK psychology? I can’t imagine anyone of my parents generation (referred to as THE GREATEST) reaching adulthood yet collecting action figures, weeping at a fantasy film, speaking in a fictitious language, camping outside for days to see a film, making life altering decisions based on a hobby or acquired fanaticism. Odd.

  • Sasha Stone

    Can you please leave women out of it if you’re seeking to wimpify the fanboy set? Moreover, if you are a man who cries at movies you are a pretty cool man. It means that films move you. It means that you are not afraid to show your emotion. It means that you are rocking with your socks off in bed because only men who cry can really be great in the sack (with one or two exceptions, unfortunately). So yeah, it’s no insult. But if it were an insult I humbly suggest you make it a guy thing and not a girl thing.

    Girls might weep at stuff about animals and babies but them girl critics has the stones to criticize War Horse where all of the male folk went jelly.

  • Sasha Stone

    p.s. Hollis Mulwray, best fake name ever.

  • Ray

    “If I was a geek I would make a point of channeling Lee Marvin when I take to Twitter, just to counteract this impression.”

    Here’s a tip: it’s easier to channel Lee Marvin if you were a Marine.

  • Alboone

    Comic book movie luvin geekdom has lost most of its credibility by supporting too many bad movies.

  • Rashad

    Geeks are girly girls, who cry when they wet themselves.

    This is why I read this site.

  • DuluozGray

    Sasha is so ashamed to be a woman, that much is obvious. She’s internalized quite a bit of shit in her life.

    Let it go, Sasha.

  • Jesse Crall

    Replace “girls” with “toddlers” and this piece would make sense. As it stands, it’s pretty charmless.

    Quick thing, Duluoz. I was balling your wife last Monday and when she came she yelled “Grandpa, Grandpa, GRANDPA!” before settling down with a Marlboro. Not sure what the deal was and since I’m more of a “Get off, get out” kinda guy, I hadn’t the chance to ask her about it.

  • K. Bowen

    Having had a foot in the geek camp and the jock camp growing up, I liked it better when “geek” just meant you were really good at math.

  • The Thing

    As someone who would consider himself a geek, what you’re describing is a super fanboy. It’s possible to like Batman or Star Wars or whatever and not cry when the movie is over because you know that Nolan’s trilogy is done. In fact, I would wager that most of the geeks seeing TDKR won’t be in costume, and will only go to the midnight showing because it’s an event, not because they want to be the first to see it.

    When you jizz your pants at the midnight showing of Knight of Cups, revisit this article, and switch “ComicCon geek” with “pretentious film critic”. I mean, I really don’t see the difference between buying every single classic film released on Blu-Ray and buying every single comic book of your favorite Superhero, or memorizing the name and year of every John Wayne film to remembering the continuity of Superman.

  • Ghost of Kazan

    The asshole who liked to call me “fag” when he beat me up in the eighth grade would have totally agreed with what Jeff says here.

  • http://www.awardsdaily.com RyanAdams

    “On top of which I’m reasonably slim, I don’t wear toenail-fungus-exposing flip-flops, I’m not one for facial hair, and I never wear low-threadcount Hanes T-shirts.”

    We’ve seen some of your shoes, Jeff. Those aren’t Lee Marvin shoes. And how is it we’ve seen your shoes? oh, because you’ve shown us photos of them.

    My traditional XY tendencies are too pronounced.

    Might even say scrupulously exaggerated. If not fastidiously.

  • Eddie Mars Attacks!

    “In fact, I would wager that most of the geeks seeing TDKR won’t be in costume”

    For fuck’s sake, what normal adult considers it an accomplishment to go to the movies without putting on a costume.

  • DiscoNap

    Jeff at times like this I’m curious, are you so unfamiliar with geek culture that you don’t even know what trolling is?

  • Eddie Mars Attacks!

    Hey Disco,

    The genius of Jeff Wells is that his entire life is an exercise in sublime “trolling.”

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    Having had a foot in the geek camp and the jock camp growing up, I liked it better when “geek” just meant you were really good at math.

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