Bravery
Tomorrow Lars Von Trier‘s Nymphomaniac, “a wild and poetic story of a woman’s erotic journey from birth to the age of 50,” will begin filming in Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany (northeast of Dusseldorf). This means that costar Shia LeBeouf, who has said he’ll be performing real-deal sex scenes with star Charlotte Gainsbourg (or perhaps with someone or something else), is now in Germany and almost certainly going through a little pre-performance anxiety as he paces back and forth in his hotel room. Who wouldn’t be?
The thing to remember is to not repeat the Cillian Murphy full-frontal experience in 28 Days Later, and that means following the golden rule, to wit: between bouts of athletic engagement, always maintain a state of maximum tumescence in repose. In other words an unclothed actor, as Sid Krassman put it in Terry Southern‘s “Blue Movie,” needs “a little heft” to start with before getting down and going to town. To not have that could be deeply embarassing and perhaps even career-wounding.
A Trust Nordisk press release announced today that Nymphomaniac, which costars Jamie Bell, Connie Nielsen, Mia Goth, Jens Albinus, Severin von Hoensbroech, Peter Gilberg Cotton, Nicolas Bro, Tabea Tarbiat, Janine Romanowski, Jesper Christensen, Tania Carlin, Felicity Gilbert and Shanti Roney, is scheduled to last 11 weeks, mostly in Nordrhein-Westfalen, Germany and for a shorter period in Flanders, Belgium. Pic is expected to be released in 2013.
I’d watch Connie Nielsen having sex, but Shia and Charlotte? Ugh!
Since it is the subject at hand, I really never understand this shit…. The grower vs shower thing. In between BOUTS OF TUMESCENCE or whatever, don’t a lot of guys RETREAT LIKE A TURTLE INTO A SHELL?
That’s what I didn’t get about SHAME. Fassbender’s walking around his pad not erect, goes to take a leak, and his dong is hanging low like a turkey baster halfway to his knees. How does this work? So when a guy like that gets an erection, the dick stays the same length but just rises upwards?
You mean it doesn’t shrivel and retreat so it’s just a head and like a small bit of wiener barely poking out? Is that just like a Catholic shame thing or a tight underwear thing, where your dick such as it is varies in length as much as four inches depending on the amount of arousal?
Some guys don’t “hang.”
Shia’s doing an excellent job of killing his career, or as known in 2010, pulling a Casey Affleck. Has working with Lars worked out for anyone?
Lars is THE GOD OF ALL DIRECTING, so yeah it will work out for him. LVT and Gaspar Noe are the only foreign directors anyone needs to watch, especially since all the Mexican guys started doing their boring interconnected mortality deal instead of hardcore crime shit with kids in colorful soccer jerseys shooting up favelas.
“For Christ sake Alvy, even Freud talks of a latency period!”
Your directing God is so humorless and unwatched that he might as well be a studio sitcom on NBC. Career wise, this is unwise for Shia.
Oliver Reed mentioned how he’d go offstage to have a quick ‘Jodrell’ (i.e Jodrell Bank, rhyming slang) just prior to the wrestling scenes in WOMEN IN LOVE. Shia should be able to do an awesome alt. comic about this one.
Shia already got his cock out in the Sigur Ros thing.
I don’t see how this will hurt his career at all. Nobody in Middle America will see it anyway, so it might as well not exist to them. Meanwhile if he does a good job, he’ll continue to get cast in interesting projects by decent directors while he stays away from the blockbuster scene.
He also probably doesn’t have that much choice anymore, considering it seems Spielberg has black-listed the guy for his Indiana Jones comments.
Don’t worry, Jeff, he’ll perform just fine. After giving it to likes of Megan Fox and Carey Mulligan, we can safely assume Shia can operate his equipment effectively under pressure.
But I’ll believe they’re banging for real when Gainsbourg says they are.
And anyone who thinks LVT is humorless should check out his Kingdom series on DVD.
“The thing to remember is to not repeat the Cillian Murphy full-frontal experience”
Showing concern about the size of your own manhood = unfortunate
Showing concern about the size of someone else’s mandhood = just a wee bit creepy
C’mon Eloi, the dude got the entire country to pronounce his name correctly. He’s got clout. He doesn’t need to audition for other directors. Maybe he does have to work out some penance for his Bay/Speilberg sins, but there’s plenty of young talent out there; get involved with a project that at least has some breakthrough potential. I would not be so against this move for him if the costar was say Eva Green.
Sasha Stone says:
[pops head in door]
Oh fuck, another circle jerk….
[leaves]
I should’ve done this stock rant in the RACHEL McADAMS thread the other day, but, like, don’t actors ever have parents? Aunts and Uncles and things like that who all live back in Hicksville and would be EMBARRASSED AS A MOTHERFUCKER to see Little Johnny up on screen or their sweet-kid actress wannabe with stars in her eyes turning up in full-blown lesbo scenes for a horned-up old man like DePalma?
I know from Project Greenlight that LaBeuof’s mom is some daffy Valley New Age Yenta who’s probably all chill about free love and expression and shit, but honestly as someone who once wanted to be an actor, it BLOWS ME AWAY that almost every actor is totally down with nude scenes and gay scenes and showing their schlong or having sex on screen. Fuck, if I kissed a chick on TV my family would hop in the 1975 Gremlin to come out here and shoot me right in the fucking head…. Can’t IMAGINE calling up Uncle Lou in Virginia all, “Hey, I’m in a LARS VON TRIER MOVIE where I’m gonna be having sex on screen for real, yeee hooo!”
Like wouldn’t Rachel McAdams’ mom or somebody tell her she was a whore who was doing to BURN IN THE PITS OF HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY for doing love scenes or playing a lesbian? Who has extended family that’s cool with that, and how could any performer take roles that would upset their folks “back home”?
Sex is the single most EVIL AND VERBOTEN thing in the world for most of this country.
Like HONESTLY, if any of you guys had these two choices:
1) Murder a person in real life
2) Do nudity in a movie…
Wouldn’t your family prefer you chose 1?
No offense, Lex, but you’ve painted a picture of your family as a cross between Leatherface’s family and the mother of Norman Bates.
I know EXACTLY where Lex is coming from on this. GOOD RANT.
What does Charlotte Gainsbourg have to say about all this?
Her dad was the late Serge Gainsbourg, who I can’t picture having any trouble with it. But still, what’s her call on all this?
And even if she’s OK with it, is she OK with telling the whole world about it (or least the world that’s heard of Lars Von Trier) before the movie is even made, much less released?
Also, wasn’t she in a French move a few years ago about a guy married to an actress (played by CG) — wasn’t the husband obsessively jealous about the idea that his actress wife might be making it with her costar?
What’s her real life husband or main squeeze think about all this?
I suspect a lot of French, and Italian, actresses plus their husbands could give a shit, given that there’s already an established precedent in both of their national cinemas for respectable actresses to do hardcore in some edgier movies – it’s not common, but it’s happened. The lead actress in Breillat’s ROMANCE screwed guys for real onscreen, and her national celebrity porno co-star banged some other actress in Breillat’s later ANATOMY OF HELL. There was a big budget biopic of Italian celeb Moana Pozzi, the title and star of which I can’t remember, that also featured various hardcore scenes. There are other examples but the above should be sufficient. Bottom line is that European performers and audiences probably have a more relaxed perspective on this than God-fearing Christian audiences from the American heartlands, and don’t subconsciously feel that everyone involved will be going to Hell just for participating.
Showing concern about the size of someone else’s mandhood = just a wee bit creepy
>>>>
Why? I brush my teeth thinking about Tom Hardy.
” Has working with Lars worked out for anyone?”
Emily Watson (nominated for Oscar)
Kirsten Dunst (won Best Actress at Cannes)
Charlotte Gainsbourg (won Best Actress at Cannes)
Bjork (nominated for Oscar/won Best Actress at Cannes)
@trimmer
I think he meant career wise- you think those people WORK?
@Lex
I have the same rant about people like Seth Rogan who talk about smoking weed all the time. I mean, my mom gets mad when I mention that I don’t remember last night at the bar – I can’t imagine if she saw me on TV talking about how I took 5 bong hits then had a full conversation with a squirrel (or something equally stereotypical stoner)
Sorry to disappoint you Jeff but they are using body doubles. No real sex by any of the actors. Shia LaBeouf was pulling your you know what…
————————————————————————
“While LaBeouf confirmed in a recent interview that the sex in the film “will be real,” Nymphomaniac’s producers said all sex scenes will be performed “with the help of body doubles and visual effects.”
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/jamie-bell-connie-nielsen-nymphomaniac-lars-von-trier-365512
@Sperky
I see where you’re coming from, but at the time Bjork’s career got a big boost from DANCER IN THE DARK. Charlotte hasn’t done much non-Trier work lately, I’ll give you that. Kirsten has ON THE ROAD and Sofia Coppola’s BLING RING among others coming up.
BREAKING THE WAVES was Emily Watson’s first movie. She got an Oscar nomination for Best Actress and her career took off after that. She’s still working steadily today and was in WAR HORSE last year. She’s definitely working.
Of course, the fact that I had to research all of this on IMDB does lead credence to your point.
Cerulean pretty much made this point, but I’m calling bullshit on Shia The Beef’s talk about doing real sex scenes. Gainsberg’s already said that the lead actors will have porn body doubles. The Beef’s all talk, as usual.
“Also, wasn’t she in a French move a few years ago about a guy married to an actress (played by CG) — wasn’t the husband obsessively jealous about the idea that his actress wife might be making it with her costar?
What’s her real life husband or main squeeze think about all this?”
Her real husband was the guy who wrote and directed that movie and played the husband, Yvan Attal (“My Wife is an Actress”).
It’s not the size of the boat, it’s the… well, do you have a nice face?
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