Moonshine
Here’s a good riff about Shia LeBeouf’s bootlegging character, Jack, in John Hillcoat‘s Lawless, written by New Yorker critic Anthony Lane: “LeBeouf has the expression of a panicking puppy and a name like an Islamic steak house…but he gives Hillcoat’s film a pulse and a purpose that it sorely needs.
“Jack is the runt of the litter who longs to be top dog and the sheen of desperation on Labeouf’s face, as he hares off in a truck with a cargo of alcohol or poses for a photograph like a proper outlaw, tells us everything about the cravings of a small-time crooks.”
Christ, TWO Shia LeDouch posts in less than four hours.
So Shia got to bang Megan Fox while you didn’t. Get over it.
Best backstage rumor about this movie is that TOUGH GUY Hardy rolled on set up in Shia’s face thinking he was Bronson in real life, just needling him thinking he was some Disney douche, then LaBeouf hauled off and laid that motherfucker out. I don’t even wanna know that’s untrue.
I should be excited about this movie but it sounds so BROWN and really, is there anything more EMBARRASSING ever than MOONSHINE? MOONSHINE, yeah that’ll really grab ‘em in 2012…. that and sepia tones and Tommy Guns and period gangster shit. Always box-office poison, and movie sounds like a TOTAL sausage fest.
Working up a theory that no one should make ANY period movies. All movies should take place in modern day or at least NEVER further back in time than like 1972. Anything older than that is automatically BORING.
I don’t understand the internet hostility towards The Beef. He seems to attract more derision than more traditional nerd hate figures like Zac Efron or even Robert Pattinson. Grown men using schoolyard insults like “Shitty LaDouche” and whatnot. What has he done that has so pissed off the internet angryman?
I think he’s a good actor and quite a refreshing and candid personality offscreen.
“Best backstage rumor about this movie is that TOUGH GUY Hardy rolled on set up in Shia’s face thinking he was Bronson in real life, just needling him thinking he was some Disney douche, then LaBeouf hauled off and laid that motherfucker out. I don’t even wanna know that’s untrue.”
I dearly wish that this was true, but I recall seeing an interview with Shia where he actually talked about sending fan-mail to Hardy, and how they talked together before doing the movie…the vibe seemed very congenial. Still wish it was true, though.
I don’t understand the internet hostility towards The Beef.
Weak chin. Nappy hair. Says “No No No” a lot.
Shia cashed in on crap pictures for 10 years, and now that he is well off he is entering his ‘artistic phase’ where he goes nude, grows out his greasy hair etc. And his acting varies between twitch scared and twitch mad.
“What has he done that has so pissed off the internet angryman?”
I would love to be you, because that means I didn’t sit through 3 Transformers movies, Eagle Eye, and Indiana Jones 4. Even his performance in Wall Street 2 was mediocre. Also, he came off as a massive douche in every interview he’s done in the last few years, acting like he’s entitled to admiration and money and women because he’s been acting since he was 8 or whatever.
I will give him credit and acknowledge that he’s doing more artsy films, but that doesn’t erase everything after Holes and before the Sigur Ros video.
As much as I dislike Lane’s reviews — as they read to me as nothing more than him thinking “What witty adjectives can I use in this sentence that will impress people?” (see: “LeBeouf has the expression of a panicking puppy and a name like an Islamic steak house”… typical Lane) — it’s his essays and biographical pieces that are actually quite good.
Speaking of Neil Armstrong, here’s Lane’s take:
http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2012/08/looking-up-to-neil-armstrong.html
Tristan, might be interview bullshit. If Lex’s story happened it was probably later in the shoot. My buddy on set claims Shia and Hardy were deep in some swamp and Shia was flipping out about some bug crawling over his body. Hardy was furious, showed it, and basically screamed over at Shia to sac up so they could get the shot.
“a name like an Islamic steak house”
Because “Shia” is a sect of Islam, and LaBeouf sounds like the French word for beef. What genius. What an incredible insight.
LexG is wittier even when he writes endless suicide tweets all night.
Anymore, the internet has made everyone super-aware of being force-fed something. And the internet rebels against that HARD.
There is a definite sense that LaBeouf didn’t earn his success, but that he was forced on the world by Steven Spielberg.
Also, having a last name that sounds like the word “douche” doesn’t help matters. Trust me on this one.
Yeah, but in this day and age, WHO ISN’T force-fed?
When was the last time there was a GENUINE DISCOVERY, a WHOA WHO IS THAT PERSON? Remember when Brad Pitt rolled into THELMA AND LOUISE, or Mickey Rourke in Body Heat, or that first couple years of Cruise, or Sandra Bullock in SPEED, or Reese in whatever, where there was this collective audience sense of “WOW, I LIKE THIS PERSON AND WANT MORE OF THEM?” Doesn’t have to just be “slick” movie stars…. Billy Bob or Zack Galafiniakis kind of fit the bill, too– that sense of them kicking around a couple years then landing some iconic SPICOLI type role that leaves ‘em wanting more.
But nowawadays, with everyone so blase about their entertainment choices and never taking a chance on anything outside their pre-planned Netflix world where the masses actively ignore 99% of what doesn’t interest them, how do you catch them off guard anymore? TRUTH TOLD, everyone, EVERYONE is kinda “foisted without earning it these days,” even when the chops are there—
Michael Fassbender and Amy Adams are critics’ darlings, but in terms of “earning their success,” one might almost ask, WHAT SUCCESS? since neither one is a household name in the old Smith/Cruise/Hanks/Julia sense of yore…. Bradley Cooper was “forced” upon us out nowhere– he was a workaday TV hack and third-stringer who outta nowhere got THE PUSH, and by now nobody’s really begrudging his success. Worthington got THE PUSH and while he takes a lot of shit from people on rarefied movie blog circles, the “masses” don’t really know who he is, but they aren’t doing DOUCHE jokes…. it just seems to be Shia who’s like the ONE PUNCHING BAG in an era when EVERYBODY is getting A-MOVIE LEADS without a real fan base or marquee value– Did Joel Edgerton “earn it”? Could 99% of even regular filmgogers pick him out of a lineup? OR Tom Hardy? Even if they saw TDKR, do they know who TOM HARDY IS? Do they know who CHRIS PINE is?
Doesn’t seem like any of these guys have had that HOLY SHIT! moment with mainstream audiences, doesn’t seem like ANYONE is actually clamoring for them as movie stars in the way that a Pitt or Cruise served notice and there was a palpable mainstream enthusiastic response.
Now we just get Mark Duplass in 6 movies in one year, and NOBODY knows why or how. But Shia’s the only lucky fucker who gets lynched over it.
ALSO as long as I’m on a roll, Shia gets all the shit because he DARED TO CONTAMINATE the almighty Indiana Jones and Transformers franchises from when a whole legion of TOTAL FUCKING DORKS were 12 in 1984.
So like he’s some SIN AGAINST HUMANITY, because it FRIES THE GEEK MIND, that some slick Hollywood rich kid actor douche who gets MAD PUSSY is OH OH he;’s fucking with our TRANSFORMERS! AND THE PURITY OF INDIANA JONES.
Because as with all things, the GEN X movie geek was like 10 when certain seminal things dropped, and they associate it with this JOYOUS UNCORRUPTED TIME OF WONDER, and assume Spielberg and Lucas are some MAGICAL benevolent G-rated secondary fathers to them, and that MIRACULOUSLY in the era of disco and cocaine, the formative geek movies were somehow made in some genteel forest of 1977 suburbia by innocent likeminded “geeks.” When in fact it was probably like half the set on Quaaludes having mass orgies with silver tooters around their neck.
But OH NOES, it came out when Little Johnny was just a wee munchin, so all that shit occupies this infantile mindspace of TOTAL PURITY, so when Indiana Jones is revisited like A QUARTER CENTURY LATER, and there’s some Megan Fox-banging celebrity rich-prick Disney asshole swinging on a rope alongside YOUR SURROGATE FATHER HARRISON FORD WHO IS SO INNOCENT AND BENEVOLENT, Shia becomes this laser-focused center of fixation for BETA MALE BEARDOS now in their late 30s who always wished it could be THEM in an Indy movie.
Also you know what fucking sucks is LABEOUF all being lucky enough to have that crazy old hippie stage mom….
I COMMAND EVERY PARENT OUT THERE READING THIS TO LISTEN TO ME: If you have a kid, I don’t care if you live in Bangladesh or Missouri, you get that little bastard on a bus and get him the fuck out to LOS ANGELES and get him an agent. You get an ACTING AGENT FOR YOUR KID, you are ASSURING YOUR CHILD of a phenomenal life, money, fame, pussy, everything. Even some fat-ass Spencer Breslin fucker or that little fuck from TWO AND A HALF MEN, they can back up the Brink’s for the rest of their (and YOUR) life.
Otherwise, what kind of parent are you??? YEAH SEND YOUR FUCKING DORK KID to a COLLEGE to get a degree in ENGLISH LITERATURE, and 20 years later he’s doing some LAME JOB hating his fucking life, all bloated and alcoholic and miserable working in some shitfuck office with no friends and for goddamn sure no sex.
Meanwhile some BARNEY RUBBLE LOOKING MIDGET like Josh Hutcherson is balls-deep in fresh squack having the best life ever, and Shia’s doing a million irritating interviews all telling you HOW GREAT HE IS. WHOA WHOA WHOA I’M SHIA, I’M TRIPPING BALLS, I FUCKED MEGAN FOX, WHOOOOAAAA I DRIVE A COOL CAR AND HAVE A PENIS, YAAAAY.
You know why? BECAUSE HIS MOM GOT HIM INTO THE BIZNASS YOUNG. WHAT DID YOU EVER DO WITH YOUR LIFE, MAKE SOME FUCKING TOAST????? It’s fucking brutal, but any parent who DOESN’T set their kid up in showbiz is just ASKING for that little fucker to grow up bitter and hateful and cheating on their wives and working in some florescent hum shithole Valley office doing fuck knows what for 45 k, unable to date white women because they’re balding from stress and high blood pressure, ugly from a bad diet and the complacency of sitting on one’s ass in a fucking cubicle for two decades, because your PRACTICAL PARENTS though that college, the STUPIDEST WASTE OF MONEY EVER, was somehow important and that there was some honor and dignity in being Al Bundy for all your fucking life.
Lex, it may verge on sausage-fest territory, but it finds time for extended Chastain nudity and, I feel a tad strange as I write this, an entire scene devoted to Wasikowska’s bare feet. So you shouldn’t feel too much pain, lol.
Restless (the Gus Van Sant film) is great, in my opinion. Gentle, romantic, poignant. I know, I know, “Pixie Dream Girl,” unoriginal, etc., etc. I don’t care. It was out of theatres in a flash; Van Sant in a more commercial gear, yet it still earned less than Gerry, Last Days, and Paranoid Park.
“Also, having a last name that sounds like the word “douche” doesn’t help matters. Trust me on this one.”
Does it sound like “douche”? Surely most Americans would pronounce it “LaBuff”. It it was Josh Duhamel I could see it more, but how do you get from buff to douche?
Lex is spot-on about in #13.
Funny thing is, the internet loved Shia after Disturbia, but then he gets in Transformers, and geeks turn on him. Fuck them. He’s a very good actor.
And he was more deserving of an Oscar nom in Wall Street 2, than Eisenberg was in TSN.
“And he was more deserving of an Oscar nom in Wall Street 2, than Eisenberg was in TSN.”
Uh… I’m all about being a contrarian for argument’s sake, but that’s just crazy talk. And I didn’t even love TSN like most folks did.
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That’s ok. We like it that way! That’s Replica Baume & Mercier why we created the electoral college in the first place! It keeps the common people who, based on congress’ reasoning Replica Baume & Mercier are too dumb to vote, in line.
I really hope Romney wins the popular vote. Maybe congress will decide to elect the president by the popular vote and do away with the stupid electoral college system.
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