Grotesque Cash Grab

This trailer for Todd Phillips‘ The Hangover Part III (Warner Bros., 5.24) along with the one-sheet suggests it’s less of an ensemble piece (i.e., Bradley Cooper, Ed Helms, Zach Galifiniaki, Justin Bartha going back to Vegas) than about the travails of Galifiniakis’s Alan character. A 6.4.12 story by Robin Leach said the plot begis with an attempt to rescue Alan from a mental hospital.

I was planning on hating this movie (which will apparently be the last and final installment) regardless, but I really despise Galifiniakis. And I stopped being a Ken Jeong fan after he revealed his cashew-sized dick in Hangover II. Listen, I see my own small dick every day. I don’t need to see one in a movie. That joke is played, OK guys?

Wells to Phillips and co-screenwriter Craig Mazin: That highway bit in which Galifiniakis murders a giraffe by decapitation is really funny! Hah-hah-hah-hah-hah-hah! I can see why you didn’t show the giraffe’s head being shattered or his neck being severed and split open and the blood and guts splattering all over the road. That would interfere with the joke. Comedy is hard to pull off. You guys know your stuff.

I can remember a bit in a Laurel & Hardy movie in which a gorilla and a piano fall off a cliff and land hundreds of feet down. You can hear the faint sound of piano chords crashing into the earth and rock. So I guess animal cruelty is part of the history of Hollywood comedy.

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  • ACOD

    Hangover 3 should be subtitled “Yeah, Yeah We Know, but The Last One Grossed 250M Domestic, What Would You Do?”

    Should be an easy 150M even if it’s terrible.

    I don’t remember anything about part two except Mel Gibson was too edgy for them.

  • Sonny Hooper

    I’m starting to pre-hate your posts the way you pre-hate movies. Not that I think The Hangover III will be any good at all. And insulting a man’s junk is more than a little juvenile, no?

  • gruver1

    Wells to Sonny Hooper: You’re calling Ken Jeong’s little mini-button (roughly the size of a M&M peanut candy) “a man’s junk”? Oh, wait, I get it…you’re a little size-challenged yourself, right? No worries. I have nothing to say about anyone’s private anatomy, but once you display your shortcomings in a major big-studio comedy, all bets are off and you’ve earned and indeed solicited all criticisms that may result. That’s why I’m smart enough to keep mine hidden.

  • misbahul munir
  • zantetsupowaa

    Also known as, “Honey, we ran out of steam!” (And mescaline.)

  • http://twitter.com/Glenn__Kenny Glenn Kenny

    Snarking about what you imagine a commenter’s dick size to be, that’s a new one. Nice. Anyway, given the prevalence of such things nowadays it’s entirely probable that Jeong’s joke-sized apparatus was a prosthesis. Just thought I’d point that out, maybe elevate the discourse a bit.

  • Eloi Wrath

    I’d be quite interested to see what Todd Phillips does after this. He’s made a shitload of money for the studio so it’d be quite nice if they backed him to do some passion project. Of all the comedy directors he has a real visual style (Adam McKay is also not bad and could probably switch genres). I think he was linked to that Gambler remake a while back, but not sure if that’ll ever really happen. But I can imagine him making some dark urban crime drama or something quite easily.

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_HJ32HAF57JDNQSEPAW6IVJRKPM Rashad

    Hangover Part II was way funnier than the first.

  • http://www.hollywood-elsewhere.com/ Jeffrey Wells

    Wells to Kenny: My recollecton is that in
    Hangover II interviews Jeong openly and
    good-naturedly copped to being “a grower and not a shower.” I’m sorry
    but I cannot and will not roll with a comedian with a cashew-sized
    appendage. I demand a large penis. Criticize me if you want to but I can;t do it. Jeong put it out there, remember. He knew there would be reactions. He’s not stupid.

    • Los Bostonian

      It was obviously a prosthetic. Jeong annoys the shit out of me on a regular basis and I hate him on Community but I have never even considered judging a performer based on their cocksize, this is ridiculous. You want to judge someone for being overweight, that makes sense there is a certain level of laziness implied there and lack of personal accountability in a lot of cases. I mean you could just as easily flip the argument around and say that James Franco was insecure because he wore a prosthetic penis in Milk and he didn’t have courage to truly expose himself. Is Michael Fassbender a better actor because he is hung like an elephant. Last time I checked outside of Porn site scams you are sorta lumped with the cock you’ve got and should make the best of it. Its not as though Jeong(if it were his real penis) could go to the gym, work out and get it to a normal size. Plus above all it was a bloody comedy, the joke(bad as it was) was that it was absurd anyone’s penis anywhere could be that small.

  • Clockwork Taxi

    I love it when Jeff rags on little dicks. I still remember him blasting Cillian Murphy in 28 Days. Ha ha. Love it.

  • AHB

    Hangover II may have poisoned some of the water in the well but there are still enough good vibes left over from the first one for me to give this one a shot.

  • Noiresque

    You should dislike Ken Jeong because he has arguably the worst comic timing of any actor working in comedy today. Even in Knocked Up he was distractingly off rhythm. The dude who sang Jesse’s Girl karaoke in Ed Norton’s Rabbi/Priest movie, Aaron Yoo and John Cho should be pissed that the abysmal Jeong is hoarding all the comic token Asian cameos.