Wachowskis Don’t Fool Around

We definitely need another futuristic, CG-driven, inter-planetary, mythical-minded, grandiose sci-fi adventure involving a freelance assassin (Channing Tatum), a Han Solo-type adventurer (Sean Bean) and a lowly main character (Mila Kunis) who learns she has “a great genetic destiny,” which is more or less what Luke Skywalker realized when he was told that the midi-chlorians in his blood allowed him to harness “the Force.” We also need another film of this sort in which a main character drops off a very tall skyscraper at night.

  • SmaugAlert

    To be fair, there really aren’t a whole lot of movies like this especially if you were to compare their number to the number of dysfunctional family/relationship, Sundance style indies that are out there.

    Which one do we really not need more of?

  • Magga

    Looks like an SNL skit. At this point you could make cheap sci-fi knock-offs by standing in front of some green curtains, record something off the PS4 as background action and few could really tell the difference. Apart from Gravity I am never even remotely impressed by the effects in movies anymore

  • SlashMC

    Is that “Wachowskis don’t fool around” i.e. they kick ass and take names…. or “Wachowskis, don’t fool around” i.e. don’t make another sci-fi actioner that H.E. will hate?

  • http://www.imdb.com/name/nm3769949/ thatpj

    Reminds me of Cloud Atlas. Sign me up.

  • pizan܍amore

    THOM PHOOLERY SAYS…

    This looks even less realistic than the version with Bruce Willis and that kid from Pet Sematary.

  • Robert McLaughlin

    I can’t believe they were allowed to make another movie after Cloud Atlas.

    • AstralWeeks666

      These guys have made a good film since the first Matrix so I see no need to be excited for this one.

      • DukeSavoy

        Matrix‘s worth is only heightened by the tasteless sprawl of the sequels. This looks like a similar CGI-fest. Maybe the Wachowski boys team should try doing something small and tight instead of a Flash Gordon space opera. At least Emperor Ming here doesn’t have to wear one of those skyscraper collars — must really fuck up your hearing. Amplifies sounds from the front, axes ‘em from behind. Maybe that’s why the dude is such a crank and wants to conquer earth and shit. He’s dizzy, has to spin around all the time, “What was that? You there, what did you say?”

        Also, Jupiter Ascending? Why not the shorter, sharper, Jupiter Rising? Or is that a little too Kenneth Anger?

        • DuluozRedux

          Cloud Atlas was pretty good.

      • SmaugAlert

        They should revisit their roots and make a Bound sequel.

        • SallyinChicago

          God I miss those noir type movies, “The Last Seduction” “Bound” “Red River West”…what happened to the writers and directors that they won’t take chances like that?

  • http://citizenmilton.tumblr.com/ citizenmilton

    I fear for Wells’ health when 2015 rolls around.

    Avengers 2, Star Wars 7, Batman/Superman, Ant Man, Terminator 5 or whatever number they’re on, Independence Day 2, Pirates 5 or 6, Hunger Games 3.2, Jurassic Park 4…

    • SmaugAlert

      Sounds like he’ll have even less work to do that year than normal.

    • San Diego Cinerama

      Why the hell do you think I keep showing up?

      The implosion is going to be epic.

  • Peter Bongo

    I hope Channing Tatum’s uncanny impersonation of 1990s-era Scott Weiland gets the proper recognition in next year’s Oscar race.

  • kwisatzhaderach

    Looks absolutely terrible.

  • D.Z.

    “We also need another film of this sort in which a main character drops off a very tall skyscraper at night.”

    It’s called Ghost in the Shell, which the Wachowskis apparently ripped off again. :)

  • SlashMC

    Might just be the Wachowskis are trying to make a high-end campy space-opera like FLASH GORDON, a movie that is so bad its good.

    • SmaugAlert

      That would require Queen which seems impossible at this point.

  • Brian Bouton

    Chim Chim and I are very excited.

  • Steven Gaydos

    Here’s another one Jeff is waiting anxiously to see: http://variety.com/2013/film/news/godzilla-trailer-1200941018/#

  • gitmoguest

    That Tatum make-up job will be the kiss of death. Also, Mila Kunis is terrible in anything that is not Black Swan.

    • JenMara66

      I didn’t find Kunis great in Black Swan .

  • SallyinChicago

    I used to love the Wachowski’s (Bound, the Matrix) but now I hate everything they do and everything about them….can you say “overrated”?