Flatulent Foo Foo

The mock-tawdry headline of yesterday’s review of Margaret Betts‘ Novitiate read “Hot Lesbo Nun Action Toward The End.” That’s because the strongest, grabbiest scene in the whole film is a shadowy erotic thing between a couple of nuns-in-training. I asked around and everyone agreed that was the big stand-out moment — trust me.

But wait, hold on….there’s a Brooklyn perspective on this vein of hothouse cinema that demands consideration. Ebert.com and N.Y. Times contributor Glenn Kenny doesn’t like the term “lesbo” — he not only thinks it’s juvenile (which of course it is) but feels it’s important to strongly discourage its use even by those adopting a mock-ironic tone.

Kenny also feels that anyone who isn’t an elite foo-foo walking around with a feather quill sticking out of his or her anal cavity shouldn’t mention Robert Bresson, whom I referenced in my review because most of the costars in Novitiate are model-pretty in the vein of Bresson’s own casting tendencies. So he tried to give me a little bitch-slapping today, and I bitch-slapped his ass right back.

  • John Koktoston

    Weak comeback, Wells. Glenn stomped you on this one.

    • If you say so, but I really liked the “sickening Brooklyn snob” thing.

  • Giggy Pinimba

    I think what Glenn meant to say is that if you type in “lesbian” on tubepornstars, you’ll get more hits than if you typed in just “lesbo.”

    • Check.

      • Michael Gebert

        This is where political correctness kills comedy. “Lesbo” was much funnier, precisely because it’s so flip and cheesy. “Lesbian Nuns” sounds like a very serious book from a university press, “Hot Lesbo Nun Action” applied to a po-faced art film is far funnier.

        • Giggy Pinimba

          years ago, SPY magazine translated the titles of some real XXX French porno movies. My favorite was “Hip Young Bourgeois Females: Sodomized.

          • Michael Gebert

            You know what would have been really hot in that title? “From the VI Arrondissement”


            That was my favorite too. Dumb translation though.

  • Mr. F.

    You’re single. Glenn is single.

    Just get it over with already, guys.

    • Glenn is married and I’ve recently been lucky enough to have connected with a great lady.

      • Glenn Kenny

        A great lady who apparently told you not to refer to her as your “girlfriend” between now and three hours ago.

        But seriously, way to go, brah. Double date next time you hit W’Burg?

      • Ferret Jones


        • lazarus

          “HE’s own Svetl–”

          “You don’t own me, pal.”

  • Mister Quigley Jr.

    Kenny is a grade-A douchebag, but the prick can write about film better than most anyone.

    • AstralWeeks666

      Ah sure this feud is more amusing than the clapped out David Poland beef.

    • Patrick Murtha

      What I notice is that Glenn Kenny, and a lot of other film writers, tweets about ten times an hour. They’re like jabberers at a virtual cocktail party, and they talk as much or more about each other as they do about the films.

      • Giggy Pinimba

        His twitter exchanges with sanj (John Henry Carpenter to Lexg’s Bob Crane) were often very amusing.

    • Clockwork Taxi

      I tried give his writing a chance after I noticed him on this website being a grade A troll. I found his professional writing to be very bland.

  • YCo

    I honestly can’t tell if this is a seriously contentious relationship or the two of you are just busting each other’s balls..Surely, people are not that tight-ass, I mean, not even foo-foo film critics.

    • It’s just how people relate to each other online.

      • Clockwork Taxi

        I thought it was the New York and New Jersey thing.

  • Grampappy Amos

    You guys are the Andy Kaufman and Jerry Lawler of cineastes.

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  • Patrick Murtha

    Hey, between marches, bad weather, feuds with snoring flatmates, feuds with Glenn Kenny, random Trump outrage…any films there in Park City?